Call me, call me now

I get some strange requests in my job. It's really quite strange, but there seems to be the perception by people who don't work in IT that the IT department can fix everything and find the answers to everything. Ok, we get close to that, but we're not perfect.

Today was looking like it would end like any other day, which is just fine by me. Then I got a phone call from our Sydney office, asking me to put international barring on some phones. Fine. Easy.

The girl called me back to say that one of the users had made a single phone call that came to $146. She'd tried to call it and thought it was an overseas number and could I investigate. Sure, email me the details.

I could tell straight away that it was one of those 'info services'. Rather than calling my phone guy, I decided to go directly to the all-knowing source - G00g|e. It doesn't just find words, you know!

I wasn't sure what to expect and I didn't really think it would give me a result. But it did. I sooo wish I could remember the url, because it was damn funny. Then again, I wouldn't post it here anyway. The main page looked innocent enough, but had interesting links and mentioned 'adult content' and being 'over 18 years of age'. I emailed the girl in Sydney and suggested she might want to recoup the $146 from the guy responsible.

Meanwhile, we (the IT dept) wondered how such a site would get past our p0rn blocker. "Well, ok, you got the main page, but I doubt the links will work..." The first one didn't. "See? I told you." So I tried another one.

Let's just say we'll be adding a couple more urls to the web blocker tomorrow.

Just askin'

This was my first thought as I drove out of the carpark at work this afternoon.

If being selfish is all about your self, why isn't being sheepish all about sheep?

This is what I meant

Parasailing a few weeks ago. Don't worry, I'm not insane enough to bungy jump, if that's what yo were thinking in my post below! I have enough back problems as it is.

The water police did their best to get me killed, when they tried to stop our boat (for no reason).

Boat stops, air goes, sail comes down... Let's just say I'm glad I didn't know what was going on till I got back into the boat.

Wheely high

Ever been on a ferris wheel? I haven't been on one since I was a kid, because they used to scare the crap outta me. They still do.

I have a weird fear of heights, but not all heights. It depends very much what it is. Being held 100m up above the water (I really need to post those photos), by a thin, red rope, is not an issue. Sitting in a cage that goes up and round and round, is.

The Giant Sky Wheel has been on the river's edge for a couple of months now.

Last night, I went out with some friends to an event for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, which is a very big deal in this city. We'd been looking forward to going for about a month. To say we were disappointed in the show would be an understatement. People walked out. The comedy festival has some big names and everyone who's been to shows has had a lot of fun. We waited for the fun to happen. Never mind.

We arrived early (well, late, coz the show started at 11pm) and couldn't go inside, so we asked if we had time to go on the ferris wheel. The guy at the door said yes and proceeded to hand out free tickets to ride. Little did we know, of the 6 of us, 3 of us were all feeling ill at the thought of getting on the damn thing. Of course, none of us said anything until we were getting in the cages.
We sat in two cages, three people each. The sides of the cage were hung onto before we even started moving. Yes, we're lame. Actually, going around wasn't so bad. It was late at night, so we could see lights and movement, but it was easy to pretend we weren't so high up, dangling by a thread of metal, unless we looked down. The second worst was in the beginning, as we kept stopping to allow people to get on. The worst was waiting to get off. When it stopped, we were at the top (why's it always work out that way?). Because of the stop/start motion, the cage rocked slightly, and did so each time it moved one space, to let people off.

In between comments about not being able to feel legs, and stomachs turning, we discussed fun stuff like all the movies we'd seen about ferris wheels getting stuck, or breaking and people having to clamber down themselves, through the workings. Or the thin metal floor falling out, so there'd be nothing underneath us. Music was being piped into speakers in the cage. Classic comment of the night was, "I don't want to die listening to Silverchair!". No, it wasn't me, but I was thinking it, too.

I do have to say, sitting backwards on the thing was much better than sitting forwards. I had to pry my hand from the cage when I got out, but I survived. Did I conquer a fear? I'm not so sure. I don't think so. If I'm able to plan my next ferris wheel ride (and frankly, why would you?), I'll remember to take abseiling gear with me, just in case.

Dude, where's my sense of humour?

I have to admit, if anything, strange internet guy is funny.

Why would my opinion matter anyway? I'm just some 'tard from the net..
Does your opinion matter? Well, I wouldn't like it if you were arguing with everything I was saying.
I'm cancerian, it's in my nature to argue. Don't take it personally tho...
I'm Leo. It's my nature to always be right...and take everything personally.
Yeah Leos eat crabs for breakfast! [who knew??] I'm frightened!
haha you should be
It's a good thing that I'm spineless and weak of mind or I'd have something really arch to say about that!
haha at least you're making me laugh tho!
You know what? I reckon you Love me :p

Dude should do stand-up.

Dude, where's my brick wall?

So car guy (who incidentally did buy the car we test drove) and I chat on the dating site we met on. It's just easier that way sometimes. I was talking to him tonight, because we haven't caught up in a while, because he's been sick too, but for longer.

While we were talking, another guy left me a message. As a rule, I don't talk to anyone long distance (learnt that lesson!), smokers, or anyone who I couldn't see myself having the same conversation with, over coffee. He is all three. I'm not sure why, but I replied to the message.

How the conversation has progressed so far...

hi [my user name] how are ya today?
honestly? Holed up in the house dealing with a nasty case of gastro, or something. :p You did ask! LOL
Wow sounds pretty sexy :-s I didn't think women got diarrhea?
We get everything, and usually we get it worse than boys. We're just not as vocal about it.
have you already met someone on this site?
Nope. Cynicism has set in and I can't see that happening at all.
Ill go out with ya when ya runny bum goes away :-)
LOL well I have a vice in my stomach, but I'm not spending my day in the bathroom thankfully!
you don't want to chat with me?
No, it's ok. I just don't want to give the wrong impression.
so...wanna get married?
Not tonight.
fair enough, Im feelin a bit lazy meself

Then it went somewhere else I didn't expect it to.

You sound pretty nice to me but I think theres a lack of confidence as there is with most introspective intelligent ppl.
Can you see my photo?
no I cant see your pic.
Hmmmm. ..........What made you contact me?
you were online

Not real fond of gastro
No, gastro sucks. I haven't had much pain for the last couple of hours though, so maybe it's going away finally. Can you see my pic now? [I added him to my 'friends' section]
yeah I was just gonna say... you're beautiful but theres pain in them there eyes... *hugs*

How some strange IT geek picked that up, when nobody else has, I don't know. I know exactly what he means about the photo, but I thought nobody else could see it, except me. Dude was not supposed to get into my head!

Like the drive through lady says, "And then...."

ANZAC Day

What is ANZAC Day?

ANZAC Day - 25 April - is probably Australia's most important national occasion. It marks the anniversary of the first major military action fought by Australian and New Zealand forces during the First World War. ANZAC stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. The soldiers in those forces quickly became known as ANZACs, and the pride they soon took in that name endures to this day.

Why is this day so special to Australians?

When war broke out in 1914 Australia had been a federal commonwealth for only fourteen years. The new national government was eager to establish its reputation among the nations of the world. In 1915 Australian and New Zealand soldiers formed part of the allied expedition that set out to capture the Gallipoli peninsula to open the way to the Black Sea for the allied navies. The plan was to capture Constantinople (now Istanbul), capital of the Ottoman Empire and an ally of Germany. They landed at Gallipoli on 25 April, meeting fierce resistance from the Turkish defenders. What had been planned as a bold stroke to knock Turkey out of the war quickly became a stalemate, and the campaign dragged on for eight months. At the end of 1915 the allied forces were evacuated after both sides had suffered heavy casualties and endured great hardships. Over 8,000 Australian soldiers were killed. News of the landing at Gallipoli made a profound impact on Australians at home and 25 April quickly became the day on which Australians remembered the sacrifice of those who had died in war.

Though the Gallipoli campaign failed in its military objectives of capturing Constantinople and knocking Turkey out of the war, the Australian and New Zealand troops' actions during the campaign bequeathed an intangible but powerful legacy. The creation of what became known as an "Anzac legend" became an important part of the national identity of both nations. This shaped the ways they viewed both their past and their future.

Early commemorations

The date, 25 April, was officially named ANZAC Day in 1916; in that year it was marked by a wide variety of ceremonies and services in Australia, a march through London, and a sports day in the Australian camp in Egypt. In London, over 2,000 Australian and New Zealand troops marched through the streets of the city. A London newspaper headline dubbed them "The knights of Gallipoli". Marches were held all over Australia in 1916. Wounded soldiers from Gallipoli attended the Sydney march in convoys of cars, attended by nurses. For the remaining years of the war, ANZAC Day was used as an occasion for patriotic rallies and recruiting campaigns, and parades of serving members of the AIF were held in most cities.

During the 1920s, ANZAC Day became established as a national day of commemoration for the 60,000 Australians who died during the war. The first year in which all the States observed some form of public holiday together on ANZAC Day was 1927. By the mid-1930s all the rituals we today associate with the day - dawn vigils, marches, memorial services, reunions, sly two-up games - were firmly established as part of ANZAC Day culture.

With the coming of the Second World War, ANZAC Day became a day on which to commemorate the lives of Australians lost in that war as well, and in subsequent years the meaning of the day has been further broadened to include Australians killed in all the military operations in which Australia has been involved.

ANZAC Day was first commemorated at the Australian War Memorial in 1942, but due to government orders preventing large public gatherings in case of Japanese air attack, it was a small affair and was neither a march nor a memorial service. ANZAC Day has been annually commemorated at the Australian War Memorial ever since.

From the Australian War Memorial website.

Grrrr!

A woman from the docs called to tell me my blood test results.

"They're normal."
"Ah, ok, and...?"
"Well you wanted me to call back. Dr Whatshisface said to tell you they're normal."
"Yeah, well that doesn't explain what's wrong with me, does it?"
"No, but you're welcome to make another appointment if you're not feeling well."

Hear that sound? It was me banging my head. I hate doctors I don't know! I will complain to Dr Ruth when she gets back from trekking the Grand Canyon (cool doc!), because that's just a crap response.

The guys at work asked me why I was there today. Apparently, I "look[ed] like shit and should go home". So I left Travis a bunch of work and did come home. Just as well, because I've spent most of the afternoon between lying on the couch and being in the bathroom. My whole body hurts.

Something cheery

Before I started feeling like my stomach was in a vice, on Sunday, I went out to a fun park (that sounds kinda lame) with some girls and guys from my social group. We'd been looking forward to it for about a month, so most of us were a little hyped when we got there.

The first thing we saw was the kiddie sized bumper cars. We weren't allowed on those. The toboggan was next on the list. It went right up the side of the mountain and was more like a luge than anything else, except you sat up rather than lay back. We got on at the bottom of the hill and were dragged up on a pulley system. Once at the top, the pulley ends, and you're on your own, racing down the winding track. Um....there is a reason they have brake signs at some of the bends. Who came off at high speed? Uh huh, that would be me! *grins* I stacked it a couple of times on a sharp corner and went around it half on my arse, half on the board, but damn it was fun! LOL

The poor guys who were operating it really didn't know how to take us. The guys asked if we could go down in a 'train'. "You can, but you'll be kicked off." The girls all made them hold our handbags...over and over and over again. They rattled off the rules to us and tried to explain the rules. S replied with the quote of the day. She said, "Fun is not supposed to have rules. Fun is not supposed to be safe!" The ride guys laughed....and watched us more closely after that.

We were soooo looking forward to the go-karts. It was 90% the reason we went there. (I should mention that I had been so ridiculously on edge on the way to the fun park that I had to listen to classical music on the way, to calm myself down. Why was I like that? Honestly, I don't know, but I felt like I was going to snap.) So, I was keen on getting out in a kart and going as fast as I could, just to get a release.

Well.... I could have walked faster than my kart. Remember, I won the last time we went karting! By the second lap, after children were passing me, I knew I was getting irritated beyond any rational degree, so I pulled into the pits. The pit guy asked me why. "Because I could f'in walk faster than this piece of s**t!" I'm not quite sure why, because I was ranting too much to ask, but everyone else pulled in after I did....and we moved on to mini golf.

Mini golf was an experience. Even if you're good at regular golf, mini golf will screw with you. We figured out at the first hole that keeping to the 'no rules' policy would make it much more interesting. I got a hole in one, once. The rest of the time? Let's just say I looked more like I was playing hockey than golf. At one point, I had to stick my hand in some fresh pond scummy water to get my ball back, but tried not to think about it. Oh, and I fell into a bush trying to reach for my ball. We scared small children and their parents with our antics, but we had fun.

The next thing we made a beeline for was bumper boats. OMG! We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. It was like big, fat donuts with motors, in a swimming pool. It wasn't till we actually sat ourselves down in the boats - fully clothed! - that we realised they had spray buttons on the controls. They shot water out at whatever direction you were steering in. We.got.soaked! I don't think I've laughed so much in a long time. It was that uncontrollable, can't believe I'm doing this, laughter that makes your sides hurt. Thankfully, one of the guys had some towels in his car, so we tidied up our hair and faces as much as we could.

Of course, after that, we went straight back on the toboggan. One girl said she thinks we should hire out the whole place for a birthday party one time. Methinks someone should make that happen.

When we decided we'd had enough of the wind in our hair and water in our eyes, we went to the country cafe that some of us go to after horse riding. I think we need to work out some kind of arrangement with that place. They've got a lot of business from us lately! The food is good!

It was a way fun day....till my stomach started turning cartwheels when I got home. Almost time to ring the doc back about that.

But I'm glad I've made some good friends who are just as happy as me to be completely silly in public.

The doc said...

That if it's the medication, then I'm one of the few who get these particular side effects so badly. I did mention the time I tried to go off the narcotics for the narcolepsy and those drugs made me incredibly sick as well. It's possible my stomach is just really sensitive to some medications.

Option number two is that it could be a coincidentally timed severe bout of gastro. If that's the case, I have another day or so to contend with. In the meantime, I have pills to stop the stomach cramps. Those have not kicked in yet, I'm afraid.

Option number three is that it may be my appendix. Yes, I'm sure you can imagine how pleased I was with that thought. After what felt like ages of poking and prodding my stomach, kidneys etc and concluding that I was in as much pain as I said I was, I made my way next door to have blood drawn.

I don't know why, but whenever I have blood drawn, I cry. It just happens. Walking in there at the speed of a snail, doubled over and clutching my stomach wasn't enough to give the woman the idea that I was already hurting. But she was sympathetic and told me that her impulsive crying happened if she had to be in hospital for any reason. That made me feel like slightly less of a loon, but still...

I find out the results tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully, I'll sleep better tonight than last night. Staying home from work tomorrow is not an option, since Wednesday is a holiday. Three days off and it'll take me over a week to catch up, even with Travis there.

Oh, and M, I never want to look at chocolate again! Just the thought of it is making me ache. I forced down an apple today and some toast for dinner, because I knew I had to eat. Chocolate? I'd need to keep a bucket beside my bed. :-p

Ouch :-(

I'll get around to explaining what Dr Ruth has semi-diagnosed, sometime soon. For now, I'll just say the medication I'm on has started giving me less than pleasant side effects (which part explains why I'm awake and blogging at 2am).

First came the shooting pain across my chest and shoulder, that felt like I'd been stung by 10 jellyfish, but that went almost as quickly as it came. Since then (late this afternoon), I've had the worst stomach cramps that I've experienced in a long time and I'm rushing to the bathroom constantly - not going into details of that.

Nausea seems to be setting in now. She'll be getting a call first thing in the morning. Even if this is one of those things where your body gets used to it after a few days and things settle down, I'm not sure I can handle it much longer. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I've considered going to the emergency ward. I'd rather try to get some more sleep here, though, than in a brightly lit, freezing waiting room.

I had a fun day today. This is not fun.

Addictions - sweet and sour

Life is certainly never dull....maybe not how you always want it to be, but not dull.

Until last night, it'd been two weeks since I'd seen J (anti-me). That's about the longest we've gone since right after we first met. During the times we don't see each other, when I give myself time to think, I think too much. When we catch up, I realise again why I like being around him. He's just nice to be with. And honest. So far. Why I let my own insecurities doubt this, I'm not sure, but that's just one more thing for me to work on.

He's been mentioning his friend S for a while now. I know she's been staying at his house. I know she was having some serious personal issues. Last night, he explained it all. She's a heroin addict and this week he helped put her into rehab. I'm not going to go into the details of her job/s, family and lifestyle, but they're not pretty. She's stayed at his house, in the spare room and in his room a fair bit lately. I'd already figured this out before he told me, so I wasn't surprised and, for the most part, I didn't think anything was going on. And it's not. They had a thing before he and I met, till just after. That's ok.

He was extremely open with me about the situation (and apologised for not telling me earlier, saying he wanted to talk to me in person, rather than on the phone) and what his friends and family think. None of them like her and think she's bad news. He was open with the fact that he let her share his bed more than once, when she turned up in the middle of the night freaking out. He said he sees her as kind of a sister figure. Ok, two things... The first is that if everyone around you is saying the same thing, you have to determine if there's something in what they're saying. The second is that most people don't share a bed with someone they think of in a familial way. I didn't point either of these things out, because he was very open about everything and I didn't want my two cents to make him shut down.

What I did say was that if she were to go into rehab and try to get better, she wouldnt' be able to associate with him, due to his lifestyle, after she got out. He acknowledged this and said if she walked away from the friendship to help herself heal, then he's fine with that. He said he doesn't know if he's helping her to make himself feel good, or if it's because he wants to help her. Methinks both, but that's his call, not mine.

On an interesting, unrelated note, he told me he wished we had more in common. He said most people can only play one string, but I play the whole guitar for him. Intense....and it threw me a little. How do you respond to something like that? Last night was pretty emotionally draining for both of us. We didn't talk much this morning, but I think we both needed time to just absorb.

And then the second part of my day began. I headed home to get ready for a chocolate tour of the city. A walking tour. It poured with rain today. Let me start at the beginning...

I had plenty of time after getting home from J's, to get ready and drive to the meeting place for the tour. It should have taken me half an hour to 40 minutes max to get to the city, park and be where I needed to be. After 40 minutes, I was about half way. Stuck in traffic. I got every single red light. I drove in second gear most of the way. A few text messages and some phone calls later, I begged the girls who were doing the tour with me, to make everyone wait, because I was doing my best to get there. I got to where I needed to be in the city, only to find the whole street was closed. Thanks for putting signs up a few blocks beforehand, so people go find alternate routes! Gggggrrrr! I ended up being late by 15 minutes. My 40 minute trip took more than 80 minutes. I ran through an entire carpark. I stopped to walk through a building with polished marble floors. Did I mention it was raining?

I stepped through the door and went sailing through the air and along the ground on my knees. I swore. I was already on the verge of crying from frustration before I stacked it. I took a few more steps and went to go up some stairs. I slipped again, but did not fall. Instead, I did a half splits manouvre and if smoke could have come out my ears from anger and frustration, it would have.

I walked outside, got to the door of the ice creamery where we had to meet, one of the girls mouthed, "Are you ok?", I cried. Talk about making an entrance and causing a scene! "I think I hurt my knee badly and I just want some f'ing chocolate!" I turned down the ice cream at the starting place, because well, everyone else had theirs and I wasn't in the mood to eat in front of them all, and said I'd wait till the next stop.

More rain. Lots of rain. I left my umbrella in my car, in my rush. Yes, I knew I left it behind, but I didn't care. So I got wet and I really didn't mind. In a strange twist of good karma, it made my hair look better. Our second stop was one of the best Australian chocolate shops and we got free samples...and more free samples, and then more. And bought even more to take home. Discounted, of course. I overdosed on chocolate at that first stop, but I needed it, because my heart was still racing and I was still feeling very flustered.

Third stop was a pancake place. They already had pancakes ready for us when we arrived. Single pancake, maple syrup and ice cream. They put out too many plates. Only myself and one of my friends were cheeky (pigs lol) enough to say we'd have the spares. Oh well, you don't ask, you don't get!

The fourth and last stop was the kitchen of one of the 5 star hotels in the city. We were given demonstrations of simple things you can do at home with chocolate (get your mind out of the gutter) to impress your friends. After that, we went to one of their fancy shmancy restaurants and had tea and little chocolates and cheesecakes that we had to eat with tiny forks and spoons. Oink oink!

On one of the other chocolate tours is another renowned chocolate place. I've become good friends with one of the girls and we decided we'd sneak off afterwards to that chocolate shop, too. By that time, I already felt like I'd had a sugar injection, but there was no way we were not going to this place while we had the chance.

It's a tiny place, in an arcade, and you literally have to queue (and almost beg) to get a table to sit and have a chocolate drink. Pretty much, all that's on the menu is chocolate drinks with various other things added, such as coffee and/or alcohol. You buy your chocolates separately, downstairs....and remember to take your credit card! They're not cheap!

Let's just say, my iced mocha chocolate about killed me. I couldn't finish it. I suggested we go to hospital, instead of home, to get our stomachs pumped, because we'd reached the point where we had to acknowledge there is such a thing as "too much chocolate".

I'm still emotionally drained, tired and sore, but it was a mostly good day. If I didn't about have a nervous breakdown in my car, from frustration from the traffic, then take a good chunk of skin out of my knee, it would have been better. But I can't complain too much. The rain made my hair look pretty good, I had some very yummy food, and I realised I've made some good female friends in the last few weeks.

I brought home some chocolate covered cashews (yeah, I'm not sure about them either), that I've already hidden from myself. I don't want to see anything chocolate for a while!

In an overall sense, things are not too bad. I just have to convince the committee in my head of that.

Huh?

When I feel more able to talk about it, I'll explain more, but for now...

Dr Ruth just put me on a new medication. Under "if you experience any of these symptoms, go straight to the emergency ward", it lists...

Seeing or hearing things that are not there.

Um....how would you know they're not there, if you're seeing and hearing them?

Not so good day

I just opened an official looking letter. A fine for going through a red light back in March.

First of all, I do not ever go through red lights. Second of all, I don't have the money to pay for it (well, I do, but that's not the point). Third....I'm going to contest the stupid thing.

I.do.not.go.through.red.lights. Ever.

Stinkin' money raisers!

(Yes, this should technically be on the grouch blog, but I've grouched enough there for one day.)

A good day

Apart from the fact that my bank hid my pay for 24 hours (just a little stressful!), yesterday was great.

I went horse riding again with the girls from my social group. This time, I was given a different horse than the one with the tendency to bite and kick the others. Seriously? I'm going to ask for my original horse next time. She might make me nervous, but at least she has spirit. The boy horse I was on yesterday (and "Skippy" is so not a very masculine name!) did all he could to stay at the back of the group, didn't want to go down the difficult hill trails and basically frustrated me the whole time. Given the option, I'd rather be frustrated at high speed and feel a little exhilaration (and fear, ha!).

We've taken a slightly different route each time we've ridden. This time, they took us on an extended ride. Navigating through narrow bush trails, then breaking into a canter as soon as we could see the clearings....sigh....such an awesome feeling! I'll give Skippy some credit here. He did want to stay at the back of the group on the walks, but the second he got up speed, he was so keen to pass the other horses and get to the front. I felt like I was in a race. It would have been nicer if he wanted to stay at the front and not lag behind on the walks. Anyway, it was fun!

There's a country cafe we go to after each ride, for lunch. They do good food - and great iced coffee. A little expensive, but when you're covered in dirt, smell like a horse, and you're starving, you tend not to care so much what the food costs, as long as it's good. There was a table beside us of about 10 rather senior citizens. One of them was having a birthday and they started singing happy birthday. We joined in. When they sang it a second time, we were confused, but we joined in again. I said maybe they forgot they sung it the first time. (hehe, I'm bad, I know!)

We all went home for about two or three hours before we had to be out at a combined birthday party at a bowling place (which is more like a bar that happens to have a bowling alley connected to it). The thing with horse riding is you feel tired afterwards, but not sore. That comes the next day (today! ouch!). So we got a second wind back with a couple of drinks and some hot food. We played two games of bowls. There was one guy on our team of 6. He won both times. I came second both times. Can't complain about that. My wrist hurts now, though, and I'm a little concerned how it's going to feel tomorrow at work, since it's my writing hand, but nothing that a couple of pain killers won't fix, if necessary.

I don't have a massage/acupuncture booked this week. I might have to change that. The pain is worth it, though. I feel good for being out and about. I realised yesterday that I was somewhat glad I didn't have a boy to think about, because I didn't have time to think about one. Maybe that's the key.

A conversation with my boss

He's not often in our office and he usually doesn't have time to be 'chatty' when he is there. I think I surprised him in a meeting with a this morning by being more aggressive (did he call me harsh? or cutthroat? maybe both...) about something than he probably thought I was. Perhaps that is part of the reason he was more...I don't know, but I know he took more interest in my day today (and was surprisingly full of praise about things I'm doing).

I hadn't seen him for a few hours, then this afternoon he started walking over to me from his office and said, "So, are you in the market for a husband?" Yeah, just the sort of thing you hear every day from your boss. :-|

I replied, "Well, I'm not sure. All men are no good, aren't they?" Probably shouldn't have said that, but it was out of my mouth before I realised. I asked why. He presented me with a magazine open at an article of the 50 (0r 100?) richest men in Australia.

Boss: Look at these. Some of those figures (the dollars, not the men) are obscene!
E: Yes.
(We agree that there is such a thing as having too much money and discuss why.)
E: Do you know any of these people? Personally?
Boss: No I don't.
E: Well, that's no good to me then, is it?

I'll be asking for a salary increase soon. If he's not completely positive about it, I'll remind him of our conversation and that I don't have a rich husband, and I need to become filthy, disgustingly rich on my own, so I'll need a pay rise to help achieve this. Fair enough, don'tcha think?

Just so you know

I'm not sad. At least, I don't think I am. I'm frustrated. Not sure what about, which, of course, makes me more frustrated.

I didn't have a talk with J last night. He had another friend over, I got over whatever mood I was in, and there wasn't really an appropriate moment anyway.

I do need to stop doubting and making assumptions. Without fail, each time I get annoyed at something, the next time I see him, I discover I had nothing to doubt. It's aggravating, because it makes me feel stupid. At least I buy time when I feel that way. If I were to bring up things as that delightful committee in my head presents them.......well, I don't want to be that type of girl. Besides, buying time has proven the committee doesn't know shit and I should really stop listening to it.

I suppose I don't have a lot of faith in people at the moment. Despite what I've just said above, I do trust J. He is who he says he is, he says what he thinks, he does what he wants and I know he wouldn't intentionally stuff me around. Eh, sounds lame, but it's true. I know this from watching his friends, how they interact with him and what they say to him and about him.

This wasn't supposed to be about J. I just wanted to say what I was feeling. Although, being that I can only come up with 'frustrated' at the moment, I haven't been as succinct as I would like. Part of my frustration is that I'm not getting the contentment (?) from anyone else that I do with J. Yes, I know the dynamics are different, but..........

I'm gonna stop here. I can see myself starting a circular conversation with myself and I'm really too tired to try to think myself out of that loop.

Hey, his birthday is next week (on the same date as my nutcase sister!). Do I get him something? What?

I've got a week till I have to hand that list in to Dr Ruth.

Chocolate is evil

Today was such a nice day, it was too good to waste sitting inside watching dvds. So car guy and I went down to walk on the beach (after he made a huuuge pot of vegetable soup for lunch). If we had planned it, I wouldn't have worn my new hiking shoes that I've been trying to wear in. Instead, they wore in my heels and I had to take my shoes off the second I got back to the car. Ouch! Not to mention, it was a warm day, so wearing jeans and boots at the beach didn't make for perfect comfort.

Meanwhile, I've felt the need to make some distance between myself and the anti-me. I've been relying on him for, well, just general company, really, and I don't like that too much. So I haven't been contacting him, except to respond when he contacts me. He text me yesterday, I responded, he rang. He did that again this morning and asked if I had plans for tonight. I said no, but didn't have any intentions of driving down there late, after he finished family stuff for Easter. He invited me down there tomorrow and out to dinner tomorrow night.

I'll be going. We'll be talking. I'm not sure yet what I really want to talk about. I'll have an hour in the car, on the way, to figure it out.

As for the title of this post. Just a simple, true statement. That is all. Happy yet-another-over-commercialised-holiday to everyone.

Decent Friday

I spent another interesting afternoon at the house of car guy. He's an unusual person. Very....well, he doesn't go overboard on showing emotion of any kind. It's a little unsettling. There are moments when he will laugh out loud, or respond when prodded for a reaction. Most of the time, he's pretty difficult to read. Still, we're now clear about the absolute lack of potential for anything romantic and that makes me more comfortable than I was previously.

We watched Borat. We couldn't work out why the deleted scenes didn't get into the movie. They weren't that bad. Next, we watched Welcome to the Jungle. Both movies you don't have to think too hard about and that's what I need right now.

The thing about car guy? He cooks. As in, he'd make someone a lovely, perfect, SAH wife. OMG! The first time I went there, he made home made meat pies. The next day, he made a full roast meal for lunch, followed by a cake he baked. Today, he made pizzas (even made the base from scratch) and another cake. He cooked and cleaned while I watched the movies and ate.

His friend P turned up later in the afternoon and she was going with him to the city to the comedy festival. I was already invited, but I didn't feel like being that social. I wanted to stay home, (which is why I pulled out of the girls' camping trip I was supposed to go on). She's a nice girl. Loud, girly, and funny. Had I been in a better overall mood, I'd have gone out with them. I think I could learn to get on with her, despite us being completely different, personality-wise.

Anyway, car guy has suggested we catch up again on Sunday. He's a nice enough guy and I said we could do something. I think I need to spend more time getting used to his personality and minimal displays of emotion. It's my nature to shy away from people like that, because it's hard for me to relate. It can't hurt to get a little more exposure to someone who's so different from me. I might learn something.

Besides, did I mention the food?

I made a discovery

I've become a commitment-phobe. That scares me.

Related? Or not? I've been singing this song all day. (Yes, I found the cd!)

Washing of the Water - Peter Gabriel

River, river, carry me on
Living river, carry me on
River, river, carry me on
To the place where I come from

So deep, so wide, will you take me on your back for a ride
If I should fall, would you swallow me deep inside
River, show me how to float, I feel like I'm sinking down
Thought that I could get along

But here in this water, my feet won't touch the ground
I need something to turn myself around

Going away, away toward the sea
River deep, can you lift up and carry me
Oh roll on through the heartland
'Til the sun has left the sky
River, river, carry me high

'Til the washing of the water, make it all alright
Let your waters reach me, like she reached me tonight

Letting go, it's so hard, the way it's hurting now
To get this love untied
So tough to stay with this thing, cos if I follow through
I face what I denied
I'll get those hooks out of me
And I'll take out the hooks that I sunk deep in your side
Kill that fear of emptiness, that loneliness I hide

River, oh river, river running deep
Bring me something that will let me get to sleep

In the washing of the water will you take it all away
Bring me something to take this pain away

Snap

I've realised I feel incredibly on edge lately. I'm starting to work my way out of social commitments I've made. I feel anxious when I'm invited to be social.

My body and mind are worn out. The guys I work with are starting to delegate jobs they'd normally give me, to each other, because they know how much I've got on - even with Travis helping me out. It's nice that they recognise the pressure I'm under and are doing their bit to ease it, but it also makes me feel slightly incapable. I know I shouldn't feel that way.

Part of me thinks that I'm working my arse off as it is. Another part of me thinks that will reflect badly on me; something I really don't want, because I intend to ask for more money soon. I agreed to a salary based on a role not even close to what I'm now doing - with no experience.

I am tired. So very tired. Mentally and physically. Everything is annoying me and I'm not sure how to get out of this stupid funk I've found myself in. It's like the momentum of work and social stuff has been propelling me for a while now and it's catching up and I want it to just s.t.o.p.

I'm going to cancel the long weekend plans I had. I've already been invited to join the plans of two other people.

I want to just be alone. And yet, I don't.

E asks E

E answered a mini interview on her blog. The questions were from another blogger. She's passed on the interview, with her own questions.

Here are my questions and answers.

1. What was your most embarrassing childhood moment that you thought you'd never "recover" from?

There were a lot of those! One being that I changed into my swimmers during lunch one time in primary school. When it was time to swim, I forgot to take my underwear with me, to change back into later. I had to walk back to the classroom with a nekkid butt. There were worse moments, but I'll leave it there!

2. So you're a famous model and the last stint on the catwalk in Paris saw you trip and land on your face, due to the 6" heels the designer made you wear. How did you handle that one?

Strike a pose, snap the heels off, put the flats back on, walk back up the runway, get behind the curtain, then stab the designer in the leg with the broken-off heels.

3. One of the hottest actors to ever grace the silver screen has been attempting to woo you for the past few weeks. Everyone is envious of you, however you don't really like this actor at all, but given his status (and yours) you have to issue a press release on the whole subject. What do you say?

Why do I have to come up with this? Surely I have a 'person' for this kind of stuff! What do I pay them for anyway?

4. Are there any causes you feel especially passionate about? If so, which?

Take-away other than pizza hut (doesn't deserve capital letters) should be open on Monday nights.
If you're so old that you can hardly walk to your car, let alone get in, you probably shouldn't be driving said car.
Open more than two damn checkouts at 6pm.
..........Oh, you meant real issues? Lemme pass on that for now.

5. Given the choice between having a million dollar home (fully furnished), and having a million dollars cash that you HAD to spend within six months and you are not allowed to invest it in any way, or give any of it away, what would you spend it on?

Gimme the home. I'd hang on to it a while, sell it and invest most of the money. I don't need a house that big. I'd have to spend more money on someone to clean it and I hate spending money.

Let me know in the comments if you want me Travis to come up with interview questions for you.

Just the right fit

I told the agency today that my new offsider is going great and we're all really happy with him. He laughs at our jokes. What's not to like about that? For some reason, he thinks we're all really cool to work with, too. Maybe it's because we spent a couple of hours at the pub on his first day? ha!

He goes to uni on Mondays so he wasn't in today. We're having an msn chat now and I told him his first job for tomorrow is to help me write an email to pizza hut to say how disgusted I am with the poor excuse for food they just delivered to my door.

He just wrote,

Dear Pizza Hut,
Do you even know what a pizza is?
Love, Travis

I think I might just run with that. Much less wordy than I would have been.