Yeah, I know...

Next Thursday is our once a month Headache Day, proudly brought to you by our sponsors at PMS Incorporated. It's also the day I've agree to start working with a new trainer and I'll be taking two sessions, back to back, in the evening. Le sigh...there's a good reason G-d invented pain killers. Good planning, E!

The dizziness and loss of sensation/balance from a few weeks ago has not come back, thankfully. I'm putting that down to too much work and lack of sleep.

What has come back is the chest pain. With a vengeance. It's been more than a week, but you know, if you don't mention it, it's not so bad. Keeping to myself has been my action of choice when I've felt...uncomfortable. People tend to get unsettled and call ambulances when you look like you're having a heart attack, even if you're not having a heart attack (and even if they know you've suffered the same symptoms for years). I've just gone about doing what I need to do - breathe - and just waiting for it to ease. The good thing is, I haven't felt like this in quite a number of months and I know it will pass. Soon would be good. And, no, I'm still not going to mention it to anyone unless it's necessary, because I'd like to keep pretending it's just anxiety. Avoidance is working for me right now.

Still drinking the smoothies! Tonight, I made two types.

1. 250g frozen raspberries, 250g frozen blueberries, 2 bananas, 3 big handfuls of baby spinach, 2 glasses of water. It looks like blood and tastes really good.

2. 500g of frozen mango, 4 big handfuls of baby spinach, 2 glasses of water. Looks very green, tastes like mango and is awesome.

Only four more weeks left of school!!

And yet...

M has been in daily contact with me since almost day one of this year, despite the crazy-making hours I've been doing. The couple of odd occasions where we've not communicated on a certain day have been instigated by me when I've been in head-spinning, pea soup spitting moods, either directed at him, or something completely unrelated. He's like one of those cups that you can't tip over. Try as you might to make it stay tipped, it just stands right back up again. It's absolutely frustrating, but equally appealing.

But we still haven't met.

Midweek

5.45am Out of bed

6.45am Leave the house

7.15am get to work and run 4kms

8.00am shower

8.15am start work

4.45pm finish work and go to school

6.00pm start school

9.15pm finish school and go home

10pm get home, make smoothie, get organised for next day

10.45pm into bed

5.00am out of bed

6.00am leave the house

6.15am arrive at the park in darkness

6.30am do toning class

8.00am go to work

8.30am start work

4.45pm finish work and go home

5.30pm collapse

Gr33n 33gs and ham

In recognition of the fact that I'm starting out in a profession that encourages health and fitness, I figure I should be leading by example. Or at least trying. There are about a billion different products and supplements on the market, promoting all kinds of quick fixes, cures, and health benefits. Over the past few months, I've tried a number of them. A couple of supplements have appeared to work really well. Others don't seem to do much at all. Price doesn't seem to come into the equation on most of them.

I have found a couple of products that really do seem to work. One is a protein powder and I'd say it's the most expensive one on the market. It's certainly the most expensive one I've tried and seen. The other is a powder supplement that has a secondary use for aiding concentration (which I can do with right now), but its main use is to utilise stored fats better and release them for use as day to day energy, or when exercising. For now, I'll just say the little teaspoon of salty tasting powder before exercising really reduces tiredness and muscle soreness afterwards. I may even write to let them know how well I think it works. When these people start paying me to promote their products, I'll name them here.

It seems anything that is sold under the banner of health and fitness is automatically jacked up in price - a bit like when you put 'wedding' in a description. Red balloons for a party? Sure, 50c each. Oh, it's a wedding party? That will be $5 each! However, I literally stumbled into a non-descript health food store yesterday, which sells everything I want at much, much lower prices than I've seen anywhere else. Those people don't know it yet, but they're going to become some of my closest 'industry friends'.

Another part of me attempting to lead by example is that I've signed up for a two week challenge to eat green vegetable smoothies each day (in addition to regular meals etc). I recognise my diet is up the creek at the moment. I'm not at home long enough or often enough to even get enough proper rest, let alone cook well balanced meals. So, I've bought myself a blender and I've been making 'green smoothies' each day. Surprisingly, they taste ok. And it means I'm getting more fibre and more vegetables. Hopefully, that will translate to more energy, or a better digestive system, or something!

Smoothie #1 contains raw kale (which is a bit like cabbage and smells just like it, but looks like spinach), green apples, lemon juice and water. Smoothie #2, which I'll make tonight, contains bananas, strawberries and romaine lettuce. As much as I'm skeptical about the lettuce in that combo, I was about the kale, but it tastes better than it looks and sounds, so I'm being optimistic. There are others, with mint and pear, or spinach and mango, but I think I should let my poor insides adjust to healthy food slowly. I don't want to wake in the middle of the night with wars going on inside me.

The funny thing is I asked my housemate's evil spawn if they'd like to try some of the kale smoothie. They liked the damn stuff and even asked me to make more for them today when I started a new batch. Who'da thunk that?! Housemate is still very "Sam, I am" about it, but it's good to see the spawn like something that's actually good for them.

It's only been a few days and the novelty hasn't worn off yet, but I'd like to think the energy and health benefits will encourage me to stick to the challenge for the whole two weeks. I may even decide to continue with it once the challenge is over.

1001

Post number 1,001! Woohoooo!

Life is interesting lately. Some things have sucked a bit and some things have gone really well. Overall, I'm tired, run down, slightly stressed and have no energy after work and school.

But I'm strangely content.

Interesting

The curious thing about the situation in the last post is that the pusher knew they were pushing away. The person being pushed saw themselves as being saved. It's a positive outcome for both of them, even though the motives and justifications are from completely different angles.

For a while, I was seeing that situation only from the point of view of the pusher. But when the pushed doesn't know the underlying motive of the pusher, it's easy to put a more positive spin on the situation and see it as a favour being done....saved from a negative confrontation. Kinda takes the wind out of the pusher's sails, in a way.

...And suggests that bad stuff can be good if you just look from the other direction.

Perspective

A person is pushed through a doorway to avoid a confrontation. Two people ponder the image.

One sees it as pushing the person away.
The other sees the person as being saved.

Who's right? Who is positive? Negative?
The answer depends on if you're looking at it from the point of view of the pusher, or the pushed.

Down to business

There I was, happily back at class again, three times a week, thinking, "Ooh, this is good, I'm getting some good advice and skills here, but gee there's a lot to learn and our final assessment is going to be pretty difficult to complete in eight weeks, with everything else going on".

Yesterday, and I don't know why it didn't occur to me to do it previously, I read some of the first page or two of our assessment books. Who needs to read those, right? Just skip to the part that tells me exactly what I need to do, so I can get it done - I know why I'm doing it. Ok, I thought I knew why.

It turns out I'm working towards two certificates in small business and a business diploma. Holy cow! I have no idea why I didn't already know that.

Now I know why there is a page of 'recommended reading' business books (translate: you should read these while doing the course) to get through. Thankfully, I already have a few on the list. Now I know why an extra eight weeks of study is costing me so much.

It's going to be hard, but I'm enjoying it, even if it means I'll be writing business systems and marketing plans in my sleep, whilst I subliminally absorb books on tape.