Addictions - sweet and sour
Life is certainly never dull....maybe not how you always want it to be, but not dull.
Until last night, it'd been two weeks since I'd seen J (anti-me). That's about the longest we've gone since right after we first met. During the times we don't see each other, when I give myself time to think, I think too much. When we catch up, I realise again why I like being around him. He's just nice to be with. And honest. So far. Why I let my own insecurities doubt this, I'm not sure, but that's just one more thing for me to work on.
He's been mentioning his friend S for a while now. I know she's been staying at his house. I know she was having some serious personal issues. Last night, he explained it all. She's a heroin addict and this week he helped put her into rehab. I'm not going to go into the details of her job/s, family and lifestyle, but they're not pretty. She's stayed at his house, in the spare room and in his room a fair bit lately. I'd already figured this out before he told me, so I wasn't surprised and, for the most part, I didn't think anything was going on. And it's not. They had a thing before he and I met, till just after. That's ok.
He was extremely open with me about the situation (and apologised for not telling me earlier, saying he wanted to talk to me in person, rather than on the phone) and what his friends and family think. None of them like her and think she's bad news. He was open with the fact that he let her share his bed more than once, when she turned up in the middle of the night freaking out. He said he sees her as kind of a sister figure. Ok, two things... The first is that if everyone around you is saying the same thing, you have to determine if there's something in what they're saying. The second is that most people don't share a bed with someone they think of in a familial way. I didn't point either of these things out, because he was very open about everything and I didn't want my two cents to make him shut down.
What I did say was that if she were to go into rehab and try to get better, she wouldnt' be able to associate with him, due to his lifestyle, after she got out. He acknowledged this and said if she walked away from the friendship to help herself heal, then he's fine with that. He said he doesn't know if he's helping her to make himself feel good, or if it's because he wants to help her. Methinks both, but that's his call, not mine.
On an interesting, unrelated note, he told me he wished we had more in common. He said most people can only play one string, but I play the whole guitar for him. Intense....and it threw me a little. How do you respond to something like that? Last night was pretty emotionally draining for both of us. We didn't talk much this morning, but I think we both needed time to just absorb.
And then the second part of my day began. I headed home to get ready for a chocolate tour of the city. A walking tour. It poured with rain today. Let me start at the beginning...
I had plenty of time after getting home from J's, to get ready and drive to the meeting place for the tour. It should have taken me half an hour to 40 minutes max to get to the city, park and be where I needed to be. After 40 minutes, I was about half way. Stuck in traffic. I got every single red light. I drove in second gear most of the way. A few text messages and some phone calls later, I begged the girls who were doing the tour with me, to make everyone wait, because I was doing my best to get there. I got to where I needed to be in the city, only to find the whole street was closed. Thanks for putting signs up a few blocks beforehand, so people go find alternate routes! Gggggrrrr! I ended up being late by 15 minutes. My 40 minute trip took more than 80 minutes. I ran through an entire carpark. I stopped to walk through a building with polished marble floors. Did I mention it was raining?
I stepped through the door and went sailing through the air and along the ground on my knees. I swore. I was already on the verge of crying from frustration before I stacked it. I took a few more steps and went to go up some stairs. I slipped again, but did not fall. Instead, I did a half splits manouvre and if smoke could have come out my ears from anger and frustration, it would have.
I walked outside, got to the door of the ice creamery where we had to meet, one of the girls mouthed, "Are you ok?", I cried. Talk about making an entrance and causing a scene! "I think I hurt my knee badly and I just want some f'ing chocolate!" I turned down the ice cream at the starting place, because well, everyone else had theirs and I wasn't in the mood to eat in front of them all, and said I'd wait till the next stop.
More rain. Lots of rain. I left my umbrella in my car, in my rush. Yes, I knew I left it behind, but I didn't care. So I got wet and I really didn't mind. In a strange twist of good karma, it made my hair look better. Our second stop was one of the best Australian chocolate shops and we got free samples...and more free samples, and then more. And bought even more to take home. Discounted, of course. I overdosed on chocolate at that first stop, but I needed it, because my heart was still racing and I was still feeling very flustered.
Third stop was a pancake place. They already had pancakes ready for us when we arrived. Single pancake, maple syrup and ice cream. They put out too many plates. Only myself and one of my friends were cheeky (pigs lol) enough to say we'd have the spares. Oh well, you don't ask, you don't get!
The fourth and last stop was the kitchen of one of the 5 star hotels in the city. We were given demonstrations of simple things you can do at home with chocolate (get your mind out of the gutter) to impress your friends. After that, we went to one of their fancy shmancy restaurants and had tea and little chocolates and cheesecakes that we had to eat with tiny forks and spoons. Oink oink!
On one of the other chocolate tours is another renowned chocolate place. I've become good friends with one of the girls and we decided we'd sneak off afterwards to that chocolate shop, too. By that time, I already felt like I'd had a sugar injection, but there was no way we were not going to this place while we had the chance.
It's a tiny place, in an arcade, and you literally have to queue (and almost beg) to get a table to sit and have a chocolate drink. Pretty much, all that's on the menu is chocolate drinks with various other things added, such as coffee and/or alcohol. You buy your chocolates separately, downstairs....and remember to take your credit card! They're not cheap!
Let's just say, my iced mocha chocolate about killed me. I couldn't finish it. I suggested we go to hospital, instead of home, to get our stomachs pumped, because we'd reached the point where we had to acknowledge there is such a thing as "too much chocolate".
I'm still emotionally drained, tired and sore, but it was a mostly good day. If I didn't about have a nervous breakdown in my car, from frustration from the traffic, then take a good chunk of skin out of my knee, it would have been better. But I can't complain too much. The rain made my hair look pretty good, I had some very yummy food, and I realised I've made some good female friends in the last few weeks.
I brought home some chocolate covered cashews (yeah, I'm not sure about them either), that I've already hidden from myself. I don't want to see anything chocolate for a while!
In an overall sense, things are not too bad. I just have to convince the committee in my head of that.
Until last night, it'd been two weeks since I'd seen J (anti-me). That's about the longest we've gone since right after we first met. During the times we don't see each other, when I give myself time to think, I think too much. When we catch up, I realise again why I like being around him. He's just nice to be with. And honest. So far. Why I let my own insecurities doubt this, I'm not sure, but that's just one more thing for me to work on.
He's been mentioning his friend S for a while now. I know she's been staying at his house. I know she was having some serious personal issues. Last night, he explained it all. She's a heroin addict and this week he helped put her into rehab. I'm not going to go into the details of her job/s, family and lifestyle, but they're not pretty. She's stayed at his house, in the spare room and in his room a fair bit lately. I'd already figured this out before he told me, so I wasn't surprised and, for the most part, I didn't think anything was going on. And it's not. They had a thing before he and I met, till just after. That's ok.
He was extremely open with me about the situation (and apologised for not telling me earlier, saying he wanted to talk to me in person, rather than on the phone) and what his friends and family think. None of them like her and think she's bad news. He was open with the fact that he let her share his bed more than once, when she turned up in the middle of the night freaking out. He said he sees her as kind of a sister figure. Ok, two things... The first is that if everyone around you is saying the same thing, you have to determine if there's something in what they're saying. The second is that most people don't share a bed with someone they think of in a familial way. I didn't point either of these things out, because he was very open about everything and I didn't want my two cents to make him shut down.
What I did say was that if she were to go into rehab and try to get better, she wouldnt' be able to associate with him, due to his lifestyle, after she got out. He acknowledged this and said if she walked away from the friendship to help herself heal, then he's fine with that. He said he doesn't know if he's helping her to make himself feel good, or if it's because he wants to help her. Methinks both, but that's his call, not mine.
On an interesting, unrelated note, he told me he wished we had more in common. He said most people can only play one string, but I play the whole guitar for him. Intense....and it threw me a little. How do you respond to something like that? Last night was pretty emotionally draining for both of us. We didn't talk much this morning, but I think we both needed time to just absorb.
And then the second part of my day began. I headed home to get ready for a chocolate tour of the city. A walking tour. It poured with rain today. Let me start at the beginning...
I had plenty of time after getting home from J's, to get ready and drive to the meeting place for the tour. It should have taken me half an hour to 40 minutes max to get to the city, park and be where I needed to be. After 40 minutes, I was about half way. Stuck in traffic. I got every single red light. I drove in second gear most of the way. A few text messages and some phone calls later, I begged the girls who were doing the tour with me, to make everyone wait, because I was doing my best to get there. I got to where I needed to be in the city, only to find the whole street was closed. Thanks for putting signs up a few blocks beforehand, so people go find alternate routes! Gggggrrrr! I ended up being late by 15 minutes. My 40 minute trip took more than 80 minutes. I ran through an entire carpark. I stopped to walk through a building with polished marble floors. Did I mention it was raining?
I stepped through the door and went sailing through the air and along the ground on my knees. I swore. I was already on the verge of crying from frustration before I stacked it. I took a few more steps and went to go up some stairs. I slipped again, but did not fall. Instead, I did a half splits manouvre and if smoke could have come out my ears from anger and frustration, it would have.
I walked outside, got to the door of the ice creamery where we had to meet, one of the girls mouthed, "Are you ok?", I cried. Talk about making an entrance and causing a scene! "I think I hurt my knee badly and I just want some f'ing chocolate!" I turned down the ice cream at the starting place, because well, everyone else had theirs and I wasn't in the mood to eat in front of them all, and said I'd wait till the next stop.
More rain. Lots of rain. I left my umbrella in my car, in my rush. Yes, I knew I left it behind, but I didn't care. So I got wet and I really didn't mind. In a strange twist of good karma, it made my hair look better. Our second stop was one of the best Australian chocolate shops and we got free samples...and more free samples, and then more. And bought even more to take home. Discounted, of course. I overdosed on chocolate at that first stop, but I needed it, because my heart was still racing and I was still feeling very flustered.
Third stop was a pancake place. They already had pancakes ready for us when we arrived. Single pancake, maple syrup and ice cream. They put out too many plates. Only myself and one of my friends were cheeky (pigs lol) enough to say we'd have the spares. Oh well, you don't ask, you don't get!
The fourth and last stop was the kitchen of one of the 5 star hotels in the city. We were given demonstrations of simple things you can do at home with chocolate (get your mind out of the gutter) to impress your friends. After that, we went to one of their fancy shmancy restaurants and had tea and little chocolates and cheesecakes that we had to eat with tiny forks and spoons. Oink oink!
On one of the other chocolate tours is another renowned chocolate place. I've become good friends with one of the girls and we decided we'd sneak off afterwards to that chocolate shop, too. By that time, I already felt like I'd had a sugar injection, but there was no way we were not going to this place while we had the chance.
It's a tiny place, in an arcade, and you literally have to queue (and almost beg) to get a table to sit and have a chocolate drink. Pretty much, all that's on the menu is chocolate drinks with various other things added, such as coffee and/or alcohol. You buy your chocolates separately, downstairs....and remember to take your credit card! They're not cheap!
Let's just say, my iced mocha chocolate about killed me. I couldn't finish it. I suggested we go to hospital, instead of home, to get our stomachs pumped, because we'd reached the point where we had to acknowledge there is such a thing as "too much chocolate".
I'm still emotionally drained, tired and sore, but it was a mostly good day. If I didn't about have a nervous breakdown in my car, from frustration from the traffic, then take a good chunk of skin out of my knee, it would have been better. But I can't complain too much. The rain made my hair look pretty good, I had some very yummy food, and I realised I've made some good female friends in the last few weeks.
I brought home some chocolate covered cashews (yeah, I'm not sure about them either), that I've already hidden from myself. I don't want to see anything chocolate for a while!
In an overall sense, things are not too bad. I just have to convince the committee in my head of that.
posted by E in Oz at 8:31 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 8:31 pm
2 Comments:
For those of us who know the uckiness of chocolate: You poor thing!
*shuddering*
I can't imagine a bigger punishment.
(((((((((((((E))))))))))))))
I have Snoopy bandaids!
They'd make your knee all better!
(and pirate ones, too..Aaarrrhhh!)
:-)
Your suggestions of the hosptial to get your stomachs pumped? Hahahahahaa.....!!!
There really IS such thing as too much chocolate! Who'd'vethunk?
Hugs to you for all the rest.......
xo
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