Negotiations

The anti-me invited me to stay over tomorrow night. I told him there'd better be something good in the offer if I was expected to drive for an hour on a work night and get up at the crack of dawn to go to work on Thursday.

It was then that I realised that the first episode of Heroes is on that night. He agreed to buy dinner and let me watch Heroes. I agreed to be there. I like those terms.

Really, though, it's a little crazy. By the time Heroes is over (and the show after it, that I want to watch too), he'll probably be asleep. He'll probably also have left for work by the time I wake up in the morning. I'll let him talk to me in the commercials.

Sometimes you have to be a little impulsive. Plus, I get company while I watch tv, and I don't have to cook.

Inward or outward?

My blog has become a lot less 'me' lately. I'm not sure whether that's because I don't have time, I don't have the inclination, or I don't have the energy. Mostly, I think it's because I'm having my most reflective thoughts at inopportune times.

I'd like to bring it back to being more me; more of the philosophical, reflective thoughts I have. It's time to become exposed again. Trust me, you'll thank me when I say that doesn't involve naked pictures. My vulnerable, emotional side is suffering lately, because I don't have a release. My poetry has suffered, because I've been uninspired and lacking creativity since long before Christmas. So close to the final product, yet it seems a distance away right now.

I've realised I've shut down incredibly and unexpected barriers have appeared where I thought I was finally rid of them. Perhaps if I take them down here, they'll come down in other ways.

Without going into the context of the conversation (which, in its entirety, makes the comment a smaller deal than it'll probably present here), the anti-me confessed to missing me tonight. Joking, yes, but the first outward expression of ...something... nonetheless. It was equally a nice boost to the ego, and annoying. Closeness scares me right now. I'm not ready for it and I don't want it from him. At least, not any more than I already have. Blissfully noncommittal and unhindered by expectations, or complications.

This brings me to the thought that prompted this post. What do we expect when we meet new people? What do they expect? Are we looking for someone new and interesting, so we can learn about them, grow, expand our horizons, open our minds and become better people? Or are we looking for someone new and interesting to say what we want them to say about us, to focus on us, to give us attention?

Do we seek the thrill of a new acquaintance because we need some drug-like fix to boost something lacking within? Or do we seek interaction with others because they have value?

Probably all the above. I hope I'm not kidding myself when I say I try to aim outward. Imagine if everyone did. Non-parasitic symbiosis.

If only midnight weren't such an inconvenient time to blog.

Pondering...

I had lunch with Ian today, before I took him to the airport. Really, it kinda sucks. Not the lunch and the airport. It sucks that he won't be around for a while. A quick calculation....he's more than half way to Singapore by now. Sigh...

He told me something interesting when I asked him about his impressions of the anti-me. He said he has similar traits to those of the stranger I lived with and T, although he didn't meet T, unfortunately. The anti-me, he said, was exactly how he thought he'd be. I wonder what it is, what traits/looks/quirks, that intrigues me (because it's more intrigue than attraction).

What's the common thread? Is it that common thread that I've finally figured out, even though I can't articulate what it is, that's allowing me to continue the friendship with the anti-me, yet stay emotionally disconnected? One day, the answer might come. Till then, I ponder...

When I'm 64.....or 34.

Another one stolen from Erica.

10 years ago:

1.) How old were you?
24

2.) Where did you go to school at that time?
I didn’t

3.) Where did you work?
For an international mining and earthmoving equipment manufacturer

4.) Where did you live?
Melbourne

5.) Where did you hang out?
At home

6.) Did you wear glasses?
No

7.) Who was your best friend?
Hmmm, I'd only just moved down here, so I didn't really have a 'best friend'. Maybe Lucy.

8.) Who was your regular-person crush?
My housemate, who soon after became my bf.

9.) How many tattoos did you have?
None

10.) How many piercings did you have?
None

11.) What car did you drive?
I didn’t

12.) Had you been to a real party yet?
Yeah…

13.) Had your heart broken?
Yes

14.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Um.... in between?

Five years ago:

1.) How old were you?
29

2.) Where did you go to school?
Didn’t

3.) Where did you work?
In a private boys school

4.) Where did you live?
Somewhere else in Melbourne

5.) Where did you hang out?
At home

6.) Did you wear glasses?
No

7.) Who was your best friend?
Sara!!

8.) Who was your regular-person crush?
Sigh.... those were the days of Brett....

9.) How many tattoos did you have?
Still none

10.) How many piercings did you have?
None

11.) What car did you drive?
Nissan

12.) Had you been to a real party yet?
Yes…

13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Single-ish.

January, 2007:

1. How old are you?
34

2.) Where do you work?
For one of the largest mining and construction companies in the country

3.) Where do you live?
Yet another address in Melbourne

4.) Do you wear glasses?
Nope

5.) Who are your best friends?
Um, Sara. And Josie.

6.) Do you talk to your old friends?
No. Good in some ways, bad in others.

7.) How many piercings do you have?
None

8.) How many tattoos?
Two - and a fake Australian flag one on my arm, since it was Australia Day 'n' all.

9.) What kind of car do you have?
Still got the Nissan. Wish I had a Subaru tho!

10.) Has your heart been broken?
Yup.

11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Single......and bitter. LOL

Booked in!

There's a discount bookstore just down the road from where I work. We drive past it every Friday on the way to the pub for lunch and I keep saying I have to go in and check out what they have.

This weekend, they're having a sale. EVERY book is $4.99. UNbelievable! I spent an hour in there and came out with 15 books. Should have cost me just under $75. Somehow, it cost less than $60! I honestly don't know how, because the girl counted the books out in front of me and I watched her enter it in the cash register. Not that I'm complaining! I got about $435 worth of books for under $60.

My arms were breaking, or I would have bought more. The trouble is, now I have to find time to read them all. I need someone to point one of those laser thingies from MIB in my eyes so I forget there are cheap books near my work. I still haven't finished all the books I bought at the last book sale I went to!

The upside is, I now have good reason to never leave the house again. Well, till the next time they have a sale, anyway. Or maybe to go to work on Monday.

Here's my list (coz I know you really care! ha!)...

The Pyjama Girl Mystery, by Richard Evans
True story of a girl who was murdered in 1934.

Grandmother Wolf, by Patricia Tyrrell
A novel

In the Line of Fire, by Rex Sadler and Tom Hayllar
Stories of Australians at war from Gallipoli to Vietnam

Echoes of ANZAC, edited by Graham Seal
Stories and poems by Australians at war

Chain of Command (the road from 9/11 to Abu Ghraib), by Seymour M Hersh

Down Came the Rain, by Brooke Shields
About her PND.

Desert Children, by Waris Dirie
Her investigation of FGM in Europe. (I also want to buy Desert Flower.)

Tired of Being Tired, by Dr Moses Wong
Maybe reading this will help me sleep! Ha!

Three Day Road, by Joseph Boyden
A novel about WW1

Homeland, by Clare Francis
A novel set in 1946 just after the war.

I Have a Bed Made of Buttermilk Pancakes, by Jaclyn Moriarty
"A fairytale for grownups"

Extreme, by Sharon Osbourne
Her autobiography

Love My Rifle More Than You, by Kayla Williams
Former sergeant in 101st airborne

Minefields and Miniskirts, by Siobhan McHugh
Australian women and the Vietnam war

Hellfire, by Cameron Forbes
"The story of Australia, Japan and the prisoners of war"

Yep. There's a theme among some of those! I know! Sad, but true...military stuff intrigues me.

To talk, or not to talk

Relationships of any nature can be tough, didn'tcha know! Last week, my psychologist told me I didn't have to keep going to her, because she thinks I'm doing ok. Truth is, I don't think I am. Maybe I've come to rely on her being there to vent to. She has a way of making me feel good about the very things I beat myself up about. And I still have a lot of things to tell her and/or ask her.

She explained something so obvious that I am surprised I didn't figure it out years earlier. I was talking about my relationships (or lack thereof) with my sisters and how I felt closer to my middle sister after spending time with her at the wedding and at the airport when she moved to Perth. Dr Ruth (believe it, or not lol) said no wonder I was overwhelmed by the change in dynamics, because it's really the first time we've connected as adults and not as child/adult.

As a kid, circa 10 years old, my sisters had all moved out, gotten married, had kids, or all the above. I was a kid, they were adults. And they were gone. By the time I was their age, I was also gone, interstate, in the other direction. There was no opportunity for an adult/adult relationship to form. It makes sense that we don't relate. It makes sense that I never really got to know them, or them me.

I'm considering writing middle sister a letter. I feel like I am more able now to start to explain how and why I feel the way I do and why I am the way I am. But the idea scares me and I'm apprehensive about it. I won't say I think I should. (Dr Ruth says the word 'should' has an element of guilt attached to it and to try not to use it. "I should do the dishes now" versus "I could do the dishes now".) I feel as though I have to. And that's not guilt talking. It's more a compulsion and a matter of when it'll happen, not whether it will, or not.

Speaking of talking, I had a semi-talk with the anti-me last weekend. I told him I liked spending time with him, but I didn't want labels, or statuses, or complications of any sort. Neither does he. We both got out of relationships around the same time and neither of us are ready to be in one again. Besides, I don't think I could be in a real relationship with him - because he's so different than me. The amount of time we spend together (which is becoming most weekends now) suits me fine. Other than that, we text every couple of days and maybe talk once during the week.

The thing is, I like him. Not in a like like way. He's a good person. He's thoughtful, helpful and funny. Heck, he drove for an hour just to help me pick up a bookcase and bike from Ian's, deliver it to my place, have dinner and drive home again. I didn't ask him to. He offered. He still initiates most of our contact.

When I brought up 'the talk', he said he'd been expecting me to say something. Doofus. I smacked him on the head and told him it was such a guy thing to know 'the talk' was going to come, but make it my responsibility to bring up. I like him. I like that we get along great. I like that he's just a guy and doesn't pretend to be anything he's not. I like that he makes no apologies for being the way he is. I like that he lives an hour away...

It's making me comfortable. Meaning, I've been on the dating sites. I've contacted people and had people contact me. I've put off, stalled, or cancelled on everyone so far. I haven't met one person recently and it's because I just can't be bothered. Not ten minutes ago, I got a text from someone who sounds great, asking me to call him tonight. I have nothing to say. I will call though, because he's someone I'd like to meet. Thinking about meeting wears me out.

I'm just tired lately. It suits me to have my social group to do things with and mix with other girls. It suits me to have the anti-me around, but keep him at an emotional arms length. I don't want any more than that.

But I have to be careful, because I don't have much mental energy for more than those things right now and I don't think that'll be healthy if it stays that way too long.

Off to make that phone call now...

Yes, it was me.

I stole Ian's tv. In fact, I stole his tv, dvd, bookcase (including books) and much, much more. I even stole his bike to make a quick getaway, and had the anti-me come to help, in his truck ("monster truck, monster truck!"), just in case Ian got in the way of me absconding with his stuff.

I'm sad that you're going, Ian. The only way I'll be able to keep you 'near' is to have all your stuff. So I had no choice. I had to steal it. The anti-me is cool to hang out with, but it's not the same. You have to come back eventually, or I'll have to put a ransom on your banjo.

I did have a thought, though. If you're at a loss for things to do till Sunday, since I've taken all your worldly goods....you could always go next door and try to get Mr Crazy invite you in for a chat. Now, there's a challenge!

More borrowed goodness

Thanks to Mel, an artist's impression of me, if I were a South Park character. Ok, mine. Not an artist's. Looks like me, don't you think? Although, I'm a little taller...but not much.

You're lucky I didn't post my first incarnation, complete with sword, lollipop, book, beanie and strange glasses. Why I thought some of those things represented me, I have no idea. Analyse that, Dr Phil!

Morph yourself here.

Meme Bookbook

I borrowed this from Erica.

The deal is you’re supposed to grab the nearest book to you, flip to page 123, find the fifth sentence on that page, and then blog the following three sentences.

This is mine...

"Only that he was thrown in the river by some bad acquaintances," said Daniel.

They had not yet taken their eyes off each other. This was one of those coded conversations in which both sides knew and meant a great deal more than they were saying.

I won't tag anyone, but if you do it, let me know! This is a good one!

Four things short n sweet

New blogger? Old blogger? I'm still using old blogger. Each time I log in, I feel like I'm behind the times. But is new better? Do I have to change? I'm not sure I want to just yet.

I like cinnamon. I didn't know this before. It's a recent discovery. I put it in my yogurt and tonight I'm putting it on a baked apple. I'll post a recipe for those who care to read to the end of this post. (Like me posting a recipe isn't a miracle in itself!)

Some dude used a pick up line on me in the grocery store last night. It was so lame, I couldn't think of a come back. He came up to me with a pack of meat in his hands that was clearly labelled "stir fry beef". He asked if he could use it in stir fry. I said yes. Next, he wanted me to help him select a sauce for it. I must have had my best 'don't care' look on my face, coz he gave up after that. I really dislike shopping. I go when it's late, so I don't have to deal with other people. I'm going to have to start going later.

I stayed at the house of the anti-me on Saturday night. It was eventful. A friend turned up. Then another. It got late. By 12.30 I was sitting in the lounge trying not to fall asleep. After the first two rounds of friends left, I told the anti-me that we were like the odd couple and I was suprised we even got along with each other. He agreed. He also agreed that it's nice having no complications. By 1am I was under blankets. By 1.30am he had another visitor - a friend who had had a fight with his wife and decided to sleep at the anti-me's house. By 6am, I was woken again by the boys getting the boat ready to go fishing. At least he made me a cup of tea. They left not much later. I went back to bed with a book (I travel prepared). I made breakfast and let myself out a few hours later.

If only I could have ice-cream with this. It's ready now, so I'm gonna go eat...(except for the cardamom, whatever that is...)

Baked Apples with Blueberry Jam

A delicious way to eat fresh fruit! The best apples to use at the moment are Red Delicious, Granny Smith, or Pink Lady.

Ingredients (Serves 4)

* 2 large apples or nectarines halved and stoned
* 1 teaspoon mixed spice
* 200 grams (7oz/0.4lb) blueberries
* 1/2 teaspoon stevia *(optional)
* 1 teaspoon cinnamon
* 5 cardamom pods crushed
* 1/2 vanilla pod split and scraped
* 1 cup water


Instructions:

1. Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees
2. Place apples or nectarines halves cut side up on baking tray. Sprinkle with mixed spice.
3. Cover with foil and bake 25-30 minutes until soft.
4. To make jam place blueberries, stevia, cinnamon, cardamom, vanilla pod and water into heavy based saucepan. 5. Cover and simmer 15 minutes, until fruit partially broken down.
6. Place apple or nectarine halves into serving dish top with Blueberry Jam.
7. Serve warm.

No perks if ya lurks!

Erica, just coz you got me thinking of rhyming words, I had to use that title...and now my brain won't shut off trying to come up with new 'urk' or 'erk' words. Joy!

Now, who knew it was National Delurking Week? Apparently, everyone 'cept me and Erica. So, could you all please do us both a favour and go read her post (coz she said it better than me - although I've never been a hottie woodelf druid...). It'll open up in a new window, so you can comment on both our blogs at the same time.

Two for the price of one! C'mon, say hi!

Gettin' down and dirty

Stranger things have happened.

In the middle of Feb, I'm (maybe) going away with a bunch of guys in my department for a 3 day camping trip up north. Caving, bush walking, fishing, bumming around doing not much of anything.

It'll certainly be an experience, if anything!

....that's if our boss doesn't notice that half our department want to take the same Monday off at once.

More later.

Nothing to .... meet

You know that feeling when you go to the fridge, coz you're hungry, it's full, but nothing inspires you? So you open the cupboards, hoping for a different result, but get the same. You go back to the couch, empty handed, and still hungry.

I'm like that with the whole guy thing lately. Nobody's making me curious enough to even get up off the couch, let alone, open the fridge and try something. I just can't be bothered.

I'm supposed to go out tomorrow night to meet someone and I've been thinking of excuses since yesterday. I'll probably end up saying I'm not interested...but I am, a little. I just can't be bothered.

Could be why I like hanging out with the anti-me. There's no pressure.

It's all proving that I'm so not ready to get involved with someone at the moment, as much as I might think I might want to. I do, but I don't. It feels too much like hard work.

And why am I still not over T? I wish I was. Stupid things still hurt way more than they should. I hate that.

Uh oh...

I'm finding myself semi-justifying certain aspects of the anti-me's lifestyle, that I don't like, because we get on well. I really don't like that I'm doing that. However, the more time I spend with him, the more I see that it's a good thing that I'm remaining unattached, emotionally. Possibly, we get on so well because of the above? There's less pressure.

Family part 14 - More than one version of the truth

I've gained some interesting new insights into my family since my sister's wedding, mid December I haven't posted here at all about the sad and difficult drama my niece in Italy is going through...it's distressing me too much right now. All I'll say is that she needed money in a hurry and all I had was a credit card and I let her use whatever money was on it. That's put me in a difficult position, but she needed it more than me. Thankfully, my dad and middle sister have offered to give me money to ease the situation slightly for me, and assist my niece. Nobody else would have the desire, nor the inclination to do so. The next step is for me to organise to be POA for her, in case things in her life go more pear shaped than they are. I'll leave it at that, for now.

I realised the other day that youngest sister did not have a conversation with me the entire three days I was there for the wedding. Dad told me she didn't really speak much with him either, so I'm putting most of it down to cluelessness and focussing on the wedding.

Eldest sister, the manipulating sociopath, rang at 7am a few days ago. She was fishing for information, because there was no point to the conversation, as far as I could tell. She mentioned what '[youngest sister] did to mum over Christmas'. It was the third version of that particular event that I'd heard. Mum had been invited by youngest sister and her family to spend Christmas with them at their holiday home. The day after I came back here, mum was at youngest sister's house, spouting off about how dad had been physically abusive to her and how horrible he was (after she spent the weekend being nice to him and my step mum). My brother and youngest sister told her to stop the talk and they didn't want to hear it. Mum kept at it till eventually youngest sister told her to leave. No more was said about going away, till youngest sister's daughter went to mum's place and asked her to look after the cats while they were away.

Mum's version of events is that she was invited, then she was univinted, without being told so, and couldn't understand why. My brother's version of events is that mum was being a cow about dad and perhaps that was why she was uninvited.

Sociopath sister's version is that youngest sister is such a bitch to not take mum away with them for Christmas, with no explanation. I told her there was an explanation. She went on to side with mum and say how horrible dad was and even went as far as saying that dad beat her up, too. I said I found it hard to believe and told her of other situations in which mum had re-written history when it suited her. I know who the abuse came from when I was growing up, and it was most certainly not my father.

Fast forward to yesterday. Middle sister, new hubby and middle sister's son are moving to Perth. They had a 4 hour stopover here, so I went to say hi. It was supposed to be a quick visit, before I drove down to the anti-me's house to go see a movie. I ended up there (thankfully in the Qantas Club - yay for free food and drinks!) for a lot longer than I anticipated. In that time, I realised middle sister and I are more similar and have become closer than I'd thought. I think something clicked at her wedding - well the night before, when we spent some time with just the two of us (and her son).

We spent some time talking about my niece, the saga with my mum and Christmas, and growing up. She said she wished my brother and I hadn't had to deal with all that we went through. I asked her why nobody ever thought to have us live with dad. She said they tried and dad would have loved it. I didn't know that. She said when we were little, and mum and dad split, she said she wanted to stay with dad. Youngest sister said if middle sister was staying, so was she. Eldest sister, who apparently never got on with dad, wanted to stay with mum. Mum played the poor me card and kicked up such a fuss that the girls - and my brother and I - all went with her. Apparently, dad was devastated. I don't really get why nobody tried again to get us to live with dad when we were all a little older and the shit really hit the fan, but that's a question for another time.

Middle sister and youngest sister have always been very close and have lived with each other, or close to each other for most of their lives. Middle sister is a single mum who's always been independent and worked her butt off. Youngest sister has a hubby and a few kids, they both work, have an expensive house and other 'assets'. Although they get on great, middle sister feels the difference when it comes to gift giving times. She doesn't have all the income to spend on her son as youngest sister does. She'll spend maybe $200 altogether on him. Youngest sister will spend up to $1K or more on each kid (she has 4). Apparently, it's hard on middle sister's son, because he notices the difference too. Guaranteed he's more appreciative, though! Anyway, it was enlightening for me to see that what I thought was the perfect relationship between my two sisters maybe isn't all that perfect underneath, even though they're 'best friends'.

Yesterday was productive in that I learned (and confirmed) a lot about my family that I was previously unsure about. I also have a better appreciation of middle sister. She's always been the more friendly (less selfish) of the three and I'm glad I got to spend some more time with her. She also made a very generous and selfless gesture with regard to my niece in Italy as well, that totally blew me away. She's a much better person than I ever gave her credit for. Maybe I've always been tarring her with the same brush as youngest sister (guilty by association?) and that's been unfair.

Either I'm growing up, I'm mellowing, or something else changed, but it feels good to feel a little closer to just one person in my family. I can look at certain circumstances now and have validation that "it's not just me". I always hoped that. Now I know.

Escape from Al-cat-raz

I slept in my lounge last night, because there was a cool breeze coming through the back doors and I thought it might make me sleep better in the heat. One of my cats woke me in the night, wanting to go outside, so I opened the door slightly and went back to bed.

A while later, there was some commotion in the dark. Every now and then, she likes to play soccer with whatever is around at the time. Generally, it's one of my shoes or a sock. After listening to her for a while and her ignoring my pleas to shut up, I got up to see what she was fussing over. She was playing with a tiny lizard that she'd brought inside. I was quite surprised, because neither of my cats are very good at catching anything. (Although, when I was living with the stranger, they both used to bring marsh frogs into the house and we'd have to walk them down to the lake and let them loose. They never killed any that I knew of.)

So, I rescued the little lizard, took him outside, and sent him on his way.

Five hours later, I was sitting here posting on a message board when something caught my eye. It seems my girl was busy last night, but one of her little toys got away...and was hiding in my shoe. I saw him doing a bit of an area survey to see if it was safe to leave, so I thought I better help him out.

Firey

The fires that started burning more than 5 weeks ago are still burning. The weather this week has been damn hot, too.

Today, I was at work (yes, technically on my holidays), with nice, cool airconditioning. My mood, however, was not nice or cool at all. I got there around about 9am and by 10am I was so angry and frustrated that I was ready to just walk out the door and go home. I keep finding out things I should have, or need to know, that the woman whose job I've taken over was meant to show me or give me. Just before Christmas, she said to me, "Oh, you haven't been told all the things you're supposed to do, have you?" No, you stupid woman, coz YOU are the one who was meant to show me. Anyway, it's making my job very difficult to do, and if there's one thing I really cannot handle, it's other peoples' incompetence negatively impacting me.

I didn't realise I looked as stressed out and pissed off as I felt. That is, until one of the women in the accounts department brought me some scones with jam and cream. She said later that they really thought I needed it, coz I don't normally walk around looking like I'm going to throttle someone.

There was also another woman from our Sydney office who was busting my butt. Lady, if you ask for something to be sent the day before Christmas, then everyone goes on holidays for two weeks, it ain't my fault if you haven't got it yet. Not to mention, I'm here on my break trying to make your life easier for next week! I sent her an email saying all that in a little more politically correct terms. The tone of the rest of her emails was much more pleasant after that. So were mine.

I calmed down after lunch at the pub with the guys. Enough to forget that I'd called Government Dude about my taxi drama and he hadn't returned my call. That's ok. I got lots done today, so I'll have plenty of time to keep calling him till I get through on Monday.

The anti-me called while I was at work, so I rang him back when I got home. We were going to go to the zoo tomorrow, but it's going to be too hot to walk around all day in the heat. Not to mention, he had a point when he said all the animals will be hiding in the shade too, so there's no point wandering around looking at signs about what might be in the enclosures and not see any actual animals. So, we've got plans to make no plans. Fine by me.

Oh, dammit. Speaking of things firey, I forgot to ask him if his burnt boy bits had healed. Can't be good to have burnt skin on your boy bits when you're working outdoors in heat like this! Hehe. Poor bastard ain't gonna live that down any time soon.

The squeaky wheel got a response!

I just received this email in response to my little complaint about my taxi dramas the other night.

Dear E,

Would you be kind enough to contact me on the numbers supplied below to discuss the appalling service you received.

Sincerely,

Government Dude
Investigations/Compliance

Wonder what he wants to discuss. Giving me my money back? Offering me a high paying job ridding the taxi service of dodgy drivers? Making me a secret passenger, marking their customer service skills? Hmmm....

Stay tuned...

Still drinking...

It's highly unusual that I will drink a lot. Moreso that it's almost 8pm on NY day and I still have a glass of baileys in front of me.

I had a great night last night. Thankfully, I only got seriously hit on by one guy who thought he'd rub me in so many places that I asked him if he thought he was applying my sunscreen. It took an insult or three to get rid of him. The only person I was in any way attracted to was a girl in our group. That's a bit of a concern and shows the distinct lack of male talent that was out where we were.

I stayed in a hostel with 5 other girls and one guy from my social group. Not including all the alcohol we had on the floor, picnic-style, in our dorm room, I spent $2 on alcohol all night...and that was for vodka jelly shots. The rest was free drinks and lots of bottles of water. I didn't take my camera with me, but a number of people did and there were some great shots taken. I will post them when I get copies.

We had pizza and gelati for dinner, then finger food all night, which is just as well. The Twisties and basil dip we had before we left the hostel didn't really constitute 'dinner'. I won't even try to list all the alcohol I had...I still can't believe it myself. Those of us who left from the hostel were pretty much gone before we got to the venue. I was worried how I'd deal with the night when I was feeling....less than peachy... at about 9.30pm. However, all was good and I was pretty much back to normal before midnight.

The interesting development of the night was the frequent text messages from Mr Sonotright. It appears the boy is more keen than I thought....or maybe it was just 'the moment', or something. He certainly wasn't drunk when he sent his messages. He only had one drink the entire night and called me at 4.30am and was more coherent than I think I (and the rowdy mob in my room) was. Either way, it was nice, even if I can't see myself getting emotionally attached to him.

Those of us in the hostel finally got to sleep around 5am. Somehow, we managed to be out of the room by midday and went out for breakfast in one of the restaurants in the casino complex. (Oh, don't get me started on the number of kids sitting outside the casino, without parents, in the early hours of the morning!!! Talk about child abuse!!!)

We were met by some others who had been out with us last night and had a great breakfast/lunch. They're really a nice bunch of people and I'm glad I've met them. I'm booked into eleven events with them over the next couple of months, including pizza on the beach, a karaoke night, high tea at the Sofitel, Killing Heidi at the zoo, and Miss Saigon in March.

I got home close to 5pm tonight. Considering I got picked up by one of the girls at 4.30pm yesterday, it's been more than 24 hours of socialising and partying. I think it was a NYE about 9 years ago that was the last time I did something like that...except that I was sooo far gone that it hurt to open my eyes at 2pm the next day.

I really needed this weekend. Mr Sonotright just called to say I have an open invite to catch up with him this week. I said I'd take his dogs (two rotties) walking in the park with him.

I think it's going to be an interesting 2007!

Happy New Year!

"To have a new beginning, something else has to end." from Apocalypto