Identity crisis

One of the guys in my department sent out a group email this afternoon to the IT staff. He started it with, "Hi Gents..."

Me: Hey, J, I didn't know I was a 'Gents'.
J: Oops. I'm not used to there being a girl in the group.
T: Um, J, that email group also goes to finance and most of them are women.
J: Oh!! Really? I didn't know....
Me: Yep, lucky you didn't say anything incriminating. By the way, do I need to start wearing skirts, so nobody confuses me for 'Gents'?

I was amused earlier on in the day when I noticed most of the IT guys were wearing trousers with blue striped shirts....till I realised I was wearing the same thing.

And, no Ian, we weren't selling ice cream, but we would have made a good barbershop quartet.

Compliments of Ian...hahaha!

I survived day #2

My boss is way more confident that I can do the job than I am. He's so positive. He's sure I can handle everything they've given me so far and says that when I've got that under control, they want to give me more responsibilities. Eh, ok.

I really think none of them believe me when I say I've never done any of this stuff before. I still don't know how I managed to get a job like this without having done something similar. Most of it, I imagine, will end up being fairly straight forward, but I'm playing in programs I hadn't known existed till yesterday. I had Delphi 9 training this morning. From a database geek point of view, I understood the session. In relation to stuff they talked about, about the company, and projects/costings, did I have any idea? Nope! Time, I suppose...

The woman who's supposed to have been training me the last two days has not been much help.....and has spent roughly an hour in total making me confused training me. Even my boss said she's probably making me more flustered. I said yeah, I'd just work it all out by myself and start my own procedures. Nobody seems to know all of any of the processes I'm responsible for. Various people have done parts of them, but they don't quite know how it all fits together. They keep saying how glad they are that I'm there. Ha, yeah, coz I'll be taking on each of the processes in full...once I work out what I'm supposed to be doing.

There are about 20 guys in my department; network, internet/intranet developers, database developers, lotus notes gurus, a blackberry specialist and other general tech-heads. A bunch of them were in the lunch room when I had my lunch. They're a social group. We're beside the river and some nice parks, so a lot of staff go for walks at lunch. The three guys who work in my area went together. Another 5 sat at the other end of the table discussing some kind of quad card thingy and having a debate/bickering about whether it was worth $2k and what made it so much better than a cheaper one. They all kept talking over each other and wouldn't let one guy explain and get his point across so they could all learn what he was telling them. I watched for a while then told them it was like watching a geeky sitcom. Stereotypical. Funny.

I told my boss I'd go back tomorrow. He said he hopes so. A tad stressed out, he is. We've got a major project on and he's been asked to manage it. Not sure how that works - he's obviously higher up the food chain than I first thought. The problem is, it's a fair drive from our office and they want him on site. He doesn't want to do it, but the catch is this....the project is so far ahead and we're getting bonuses ($10M per month!) for every month it's early. It could end up making us $100M in bonuses. So it's kinda important that it's managed well. 'Cept my boss can't be in two places at once. Fun 'n' games!

The lovely dose of hayfever/sinus/cold I have been trying to get rid of, is still hanging around. Doesn't help that the office is kinda cold. I swear boys do not feel the cold air-conditioning like girls do. I wore my jacket all day today. Aaanyway, I'm still on my health kick and put loads of garlic on my food tonight. If that doesn't kill the germs, at least I won't get attacked by vampires in the night.

New kid on the block

I managed not to get lost on the way to work. I knew I could take back streets to avoid the traffic. I just didn't take the time to work out which streets to take, so I did what any sensible person would do...followed another car. It eventually pulled into a driveway and stopped. I found the rest of the way by myself.

Turning up with a water bottle and lunch box kinda makes you feel like it's your first day in school. My boss is kinda cool in a sort of aloof way. He did the typical guy thing and only introduced me to the guys in my department (yeah, I'm the only girl again!). They are sooooo geeky! The intelligence level is something I'll have to prove I can match (to myself, more than to them). Nice people though. I sit in an area with three of them....with my back to them and everyone else. I'm seriously going to have to feng shui my area, coz I cannot be comfortable like that. Interestingly, they all agreed with me.

It took a while to set up my computer, but I was processing orders and doing stuff I have no idea about all before lunch time - using programs I've never seen before in my life. Thrown in the deep end? Yup! I impressed the lotus notes specialists by causing it to produce an error message they'd never seen before. Not sure what they did, but they fixed it.

I already have access to secure areas of the building and everyone's login and passwords. It's only nerves, I know, but I don't feel capable to do everything they're planning on having me do.

There are two women who stood out. One is training me for all of two days before she goes on leave. She's the type of person who starts explaining something, assumes you understand half, so doesn't explain it all, and fumbles through the rest and changes her mind mid-sentence. I figured out most of what she was saying by reading emails and entering orders. More of the same tomorrow should be fun. I stood at her desk for 15 minutes while she tried to fix a complicated excel document. She seems to get flustered and second guesses herself and forgets where she's at. I got frustrated - it's a document she has to hand over to me tomorrow - and went back to my desk to do work I sorta understood. She's the stereotypical largely overweight accounts/travel lady, who wears bright clothes (and, to my horror, was walking around barefoot for a while! ack!) and talks so loud you can hear her on the phone down the hall.

Oh, speaking of which, we have VOIP, so the office is so quiet! I had to record my greeting on the phone. Currently, it goes something like this: "Hi, you've called E's phone. ....Um.... what am I supposed to say here? Is there some standard blah....? Sorry, what do I press to stop it?" I have to remember to fix that tomorrow morning! I really like the fact that my computer will tell me who's calling and I can tell the computer to make them go away. Right now, nobody even knows I have a phone, so that's even better. Won't last long, I'm sure.

The second woman who has me intrigued is the receptionist. She's an older lady and her name is Gwenyth, or Gladys. Maybe Glenys? I think that's it. Anyway, she's nice enough. I didn't pay a great deal of attention to her when I first got there, because I was nervous and she was sitting behind the reception desk. I had to do a double take when she walked into the lunch room (which has a tv and everyone watches daytime soaps - or cricket, which was on today). I didn't recognise her from reception and I'm about 99% convinced she's had gender reassignment. She's very tall, big boned, has a deep voice, loads of very feminine make-up and beautifully manicured fingernails. No, those things don't automatically assume she used to be a boy, but geez, if she wasn't, she's a very masculine looking/sounding woman.

As far as I can tell, I have to be pretty careful about my internet use. More specifically, the sites I go to. Firstly, I have a 19" screen that faces the entire office. Secondly, it's all pretty regulated. I think I have access to anything, but I'm not going to risk anything except my webmail for a while. Mind you, it looks like I won't have time for any of that. At least, not till I settle into a routine and can plan my own days.

My hayfever/sinus miraculously went for the entire day and promptly returned after I left. I went straight to my acupuncture guy and he gave me a great massage and stuck needles in my face. I feel better, but I'm sure I'll have to drug up tomorrow when those needles take effect.

All in all, I had a better day than I anticipated. We'll see how I go tomorrow.

In other news, Mr So-not-right has been texting me every afternoon, and enquired how my first day was. I reply to him, but I don't contact him first. It's a shame such a nice guy is so totally wrong. It's also a shame I can't get T out of my head, but that's another story and one I'm sure my psychologist will smack me for next week.

Off to read my feng shui book...and take hayfever drugs.

Still alive...just

I haven't been kidnapped by a murderer, held captive by a strange boy from a nightclub, whisked off to the darkside by ghosts, or otherwise kept incapacitated....except for the sinus/hayfever from hell that's making me want to remove my own head from my shoulders, despite all the drugs I've taken.

Not ideal, the day before the new job starts. I feel like I want to sleep for at least a day. It doesn't help that I had very, very nasty dreams last night, that I think have contributed to the sore throat I have today. I know I wasn't screaming, but I was definitely making noises that are kind of a cross between a gargle and choking. Not pleasant. Prompted, I'm sure, by the ghost tour I went on last night, in the city. Only had one very minor sensation the whole time, but overall, it was a pretty informative history lesson, if nothing else. And I made a new female friend, which I'm very pleased about.

The savings have had a battering this week. I finally had to give back the loan laptop I borrowed from school from the time I poured my mineral water into my own laptop. That meant I had to invest in a new one. A nice little HP Pavilion dv2000. A decent laptop. Not the biggest or the best, but why spend another $500 for a higher model when it's gonna do everything I need? Good thing interest free loan periods were invented, but I did fork out some of my own dosh too. I hate spending money.

Of course, going to work in jeans for the past few years has left me short in the 'office wear' department. A stocktake of my cupboard made me realise I didn't even have a week's worth of office (casual corporate) clothes to wear. Now I have almost a week's worth. Not ideal, but better than what I had this time yesterday!

I don't even know really how I feel about starting all over again in a new job, with new people, doing something that I really don't know if I'll be able to handle or not. Right now, I just want to feel well enough to drag myself in there on time and not look like death warmed up.

Wish me luck!

Where's the body?

Now that I've been joking on my blog about having a body hidden in my storage unit, it may come back to haunt me. Not to mention, I'm now driving around with a severed arm in my car.

I rang my mum this morning to tell her my flight details for my sister's wedding. In that conversation, she casually asked if I'd had a call from the homicide police. Um...no...

It's a long and convoluted story, but a bit over ten years ago, my ex's uncle disappeared without a trace. The family (well, the uncles, not my ex or his mum) were millionaires. My ex used to live with the uncle who disappeared. For some reason, he was a 'person of interest' for a while.

My mother, because she can't help herself, rang a tv station a while back to find out if there was any more news. The tv station passed her details onto the police. A homicide detective called mum and started asking questions - about ME! How they knew about me, I'm not quite sure. Probably mum told the tv station that, too.

Mum said the guy asked her where I live and how to contact me. She proceeded to tell them I hadn't been in touch with my ex for a while and that I'd moved around a lot since I'd been here and changed jobs a bit, but I'd been in the same job for a while now. However, I was 'in between jobs' (sounds good, doesn't it?), but would be starting a new one next week. Way to go, making me sound suspicious!

She told him my home address, my home phone number and my mobile number. "Um, mum, how do you know it was even a detective who called you?" "Because he knew a lot of information." "Aaaah, yeah, but so would the murderer...."

I'm waiting for a knock at the door.

Strange days, indeed...

...most peculiar momma...

I joined an activities website a bit over a month ago and tonight was the second event I went to. It was a movie - A Good Year - and there were supposed to be 5 or so people going; one girl I already met, and a few others. Things happened, a couple cancelled, the girl's father had emergency surgery and it got down to me and two guys going. Then just me and one guy. Then the other guy said he would go. I'd never met them before and quite frankly, I was apprehensive about going if it was just going to be me and them. Even with online dating, you get an idea of the person you're going to met. With this, you know how old the person is, where they live, and if you're lucky, you might get a first name and mobile number in the confirmation emails, but basically you know nothing about them.

I decided I'd suck it up and go along. It was weird and a little uncomfortable, especially considering we'd been told the movie started at 8.30 and we arranged to meet at 8pm, only to find the movie was on at 9.20pm, so we had to kill time together while we waited. We chatted about holidays and travel (about the only things we had in common). No chit chat after the movie. See ya later. Straight to our cars. I'm sure the next event we happen to meet at, we'll be more at ease. Anyway, I liked the movie, despite my dislike for Russell Crowe.

Just as I was about to leave the house, I got an email from T. A one liner asking how my new job is. Hit me for six. I've been trying so hard to distract myself. I honestly appreciate the sentiment and he said the email was impulsive. I replied, but it was hard. I've been doing well... I am doing well. I just wish............I wish a lot of things...

He had a photo he took while we were away last blown up and made into a painting on canvas for my birthday. When I got home from the movie, I found it had fallen from where it was and was blocking the door, so I had to reach in and move it before I could fully open my front door. Strange. Reading too much into it? Probably.

Apart from the awesome gelati I had on Saturday night to celebrate Ian's birthday (I've come to the conclusion that gelati like that should be mandatory in all restaurants!), I've cut out pretty much all sugar in my diet, I'm drinking about 3-4 litres of water a day, and I haven't had caffeine (except a rare cup of tea in the morning) since in can't remember when.......and - stranger than fiction - I'm making all my own food - no pre-prepared stuff, eating three meals a day (no more skipping or snacking) and cooking. No, hell has not frozen over. I figure if I'm spending so much money on massage and acupuncture, I should be concentrating just as much on what I put down my throat too. My body has felt like crap for too long. It's about time I looked after myself a bit better.

Tonight, waiting for the movie, I kinda had to have a coffee to be polite (followed by two glasses of water, then another bottle). I can already feel the headache coming along. Not bad, but enough to be noticeable. If I get a detox headache tomorrow, I'll be pissed off.

I keep thinking tomorrow is Sunday. Today has felt like a Saturday. I'll need to remind myself it'll be Wednesday and there are things I need to get done.

Why am I awake and typing at 12.20am? I'm sad and have a headache and it's been a while since I've felt like this. Sometimes I wish T didn't give a damn about me at all. It'd be easier to deal with than having him care not enough.

Riding in cars with boys

Sometimes the best laid plans....

Last night was eventful and enlightening. I arranged to meet J close to where we were going to dinner. Just as I left home, he rang to say he was 1/2 way there and his truck had broken down. I said that's fine, I'll keep going and try to find somewhere we can both park. By the time I got to the area, he'd called again and said he'd started up again and was on his way. I kept driving around looking for somewhere to park. He called again and said he needed the auto care people to come out and look at his battery. The guy sorted it out (they thought) and he was on his way again. Next, the truck died completely and needed to be towed. Thankfully, he was only about 5 minutes drive from where I was waiting, so I drove down there to pick him up and wait for the tow truck. The whole debacle started around 7.30pm and the tow truck got there at 9.30pm. It was cold out, so we sat in his truck and listened to music with the aircon on, while we waited. Interesting conversation that was!

We talked about the difference between girls who dress in revealing clothes and look like skanks and girls who dress in revealing clothes and look confident. We also discussed the drunken pack mentality of men when they're out in a social environment. After that, we tackled personal lives. Mr So-not-right is not only not right for me, but has a complicated life of his own. Turns out he still lives with his ex who he broke up with 3 months ago and she'll be there in the house with him and his brother and SIL for another two weeks. They have to do paperwork to sign the house over to him, then it's done. I believe that, coz he told me that the other night before he knew he'd be seeing me again. That she is in fact now his ex was fairly well proven later on in the night when he said I could stay over. Methinks that scenario would make for a rather uncomfortable breakfast time! I declined. More on that later....

The tow truck came and by that stage it was getting closer to 10pm. We hadn't eaten, we were starving and seriously considered calling a pizza to the car while we waited. Instead, while they loaded the truck, I rang a restaurant, asked them what time the kitchen closed (10.30) and told them we'd be there by 10.15. After having driven around again for a while trying to find parking one more time, we only just made it. It was sooo good to finally eat after all that, but we were so hungry we couldn't eat all our food. I know that sounds like it doesn't make sense, but it does.

When the restaurant staff started stacking chairs and tables around us and the other late diners, we decided it was time to go. We didn't want to go home yet, but we didn't want to go somewhere else and he wanted to have a cigarette, so we went to a park....in the cold....at midnight... It was kinda cool though, coz there were a number of people about, but also, there was a family of possums running around on the ground. I tried to take photos with my phone, but they came out pretty much just black. While I had my back turned to look at two possums, another one came right up to our seat and started getting comfy with my foot...till I noticed, and it ran off.

The conversation in the park turned to exciting stuff like mining, earthmoving equipment and "if only I hadn't made that decision" type reflections. (The dinner conversation included the story of the last girl he went out on a date with - a stripper who he found out was on heroin, so that was the first and last time he saw her.) It got cold again, so we sat back in the car and listened to music till I needed the bathroom. The dubiously unlit public amenities lacked paper, so back in the car we got, and drove to a service station to use their facilities so I wouldn't explode. (Exciting story, huh?)

More sitting in the car ensued, till we thought it might be a good idea to be getting home. J's auto club said they'd cover the cost of a taxi back to his place, but I offered to drive (and hoped he declined, coz I was seriously tired and already half falling asleep), because I felt bad that he had to get a taxi home. He said if I did, I could stay the night. I said that wouldn't bother me (because there wouldn't be anything going on!), but it probably wouldn't go down well with the other people in the house, so I said no and we decided he'd catch the taxi home. I got home at 4am - by myself, thankyouverymuch - and I'm tired still.

He does party drugs, he smokes cigarettes and pot, he likes boxing (which I hate), he frequents strip clubs (which I hate), he doesn't read books (disappointing), and pretty much does everything else that is in opposition to what I agree with, like and want. How we're getting on at all, I have no idea. Especially since we spent most of the damn night either driving or simply sitting in our cars.

And Ian, my $20 is still safe.

Needles and other sharp feelings

Acupuncture needles
Can I just say I'm luuuurving the twice weekly massage and acupuncture I'm getting. Unfortunately, I've reached my limit on my health insurance, so I'll be paying the full amount myself now - and only going once a week. But it's made such a difference to my mood and general health. It's nice to have a body that doesn't hurt all the time and I can't believe it, but I don't remember the last time I had a really bad headache! There've been a couple of times I've had a small one for a couple of hours, but nothing like what I used to get for days on end. Amazing.

Counselling needles
My psychologist is awesome. She has a way of making the suckful things into positives. I got in trouble for saying I had nothing to show for myself and she said we have to work specifically on getting me out of that sort of thinking. Okey doke. Yeah, I know I shouldn't think like that, but it's hard sometimes when I know I'm not where I want to be, or where I expected to be - wherever that is. T is a scientist and always sees things in black and white. I'm not like that at all and she pointed out that "nothing to show for myself" is black, when in reality, everything is grey and everything else in between. It really doesn't make sense that I think of some aspects of my life in complete black and white, yet that's not my natural way of thinking. Anyway, she's making me feel bad, well silly, for thinking negatively. And that's a good thing. Uncomfy, but good.

Job needles
Two more days in my old job. It's surreal. It hasn't sunk in that I'm starting somewhere else in a little over a week. I only realised two days ago that the job I'll be doing has a national responsibility. Holy cow! I'm going from looking after a couple of hundred teachers and admin staff and their software issues, to looking after staff on more than 100 projects and a workforce of over 2,000 people. Overwhelming. Probably a good thing that I haven't thought too much about it so far. I've only heard positive things about the company so far, so that's comforting.

I'm going to lunch tomorrow with my fearless offsider. I'm gonna miss working with him. The good thing is, I'll only be 15 minutes away at the new job, so I hope we can keep catching up for lunch from time to time....till I can get him a job with the new company so we can work together again. Ha! People have been sending me really nice emails and calling to say they'll miss me. It's kinda nice, but I am selfishly hoping they don't do anything special for me on Monday. I just want to bow out quietly.

Boy needles
I miss T. More than I care to admit. I don't miss his moodiness. I miss the fun we had. He sometimes hurt me without even realising it, but most of the time, he made me feel so special. I miss that. I miss the sensitive person he could be when he wasn't being angry at the world. Time heals, I suppose.

The boy I met on Saturday night has been texting me every day since. He really is Mr Not-right. Anyone who smokes, does pot and party drugs does not have the same lifestyle goals as me. He doesn't drink much and says, "Instant arsehole - just add alcohol" in reference to what tends to happen with guys who drink lots. I agree with him on that point. He seems like a nice person. Just not for me. That's not going to stop me catching up with him tomorrow night. He's asked that we go somewhere quiet and relaxed to eat so we can just talk. I like that he's got half a clue to suggest that. I like that I know off the bat that he's completely wrong for me in terms of a relationship of any sort. It means I have absolutely no expectations and there's no pressure on me, because I'm just not interested. And I'm nowhere near ready. That feeling is kinda liberating. I hope we have a nice night. Either way, I'm sure I'll analyse it here on the weekend.

Note to the powers that be...

It's supposed to be SUMMER!!!

I didn't get snowed on, but it hailed and rained so hard on the way home I thought I'd have to stop driving for a while. Wish I had my camera with me.

This photo is from The Age online.
Unseasonable snowfalls are providing some excitement throughout the state, but are a few months late for Victoria's alpine resorts.

"It's absolutely bucketing down - like it never did this winter. It is really snowing hard at the moment - it would have been nice in August,'' Mt Hotham Resort marketing manager Jessica Rose told theage.com.au. More...

This is outside my house in the early evening, just before the hail came down again.

I'm h'armless

Here's proof. One should always have spare body parts in one's storage unit. You never know when they might come in.....handy.

For your amusement...

Ian posted a baby photo of himself on his blog not long ago and encouraged all his readers to do the same. I don't have easy access to my baby photos, so these are what I could come up with.

While you're having a good laugh, see if you can tell how old I am in each of the photos. Put it in my comments and I'll let you know afterwards. Yes, the one with the date kinda gives it away if you know what year I was born.

(Oh, and my brother isn't doing an Elvis impression....he had a migraine and that was just the expression he always made when he had one.)

Lord knows what I was thinking with those red shoes. I wore them to work. I was about 15 in that shot. Five or six in the second one, so a couple of you got that right.


















Barely 16 in this one. 19 in the one with the hat.

















18 in the blue shirt.


















This one was at the Brisbane show, which was always the week after my b'day, so I was 8.

8-6-7-5-3-0-9

I was going to title this post "girl meets girls and boy", but I thought if I have that song stuck in my head, then everyone else can too.

Today's daily taunt is rather apt:
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. Ogden Nash (1902-1971) Poet

I guess that makes me middle aged, coz last night I met some new people. Two of them I instantly had that "I know you from somewhere" feeling (they live fairly close to me, so it is possible I've seen them before), and one of them was just like my middle sister - same mannerisms, same facial expressions, even the same hair.

I joined a website where you can meet up with other people and do activities that they, or you, organise. It's not a dating site or a singles site, but purely to get together and do activities with people. Last night, I went out of my comfort zone and met up with a bunch of girls I'd never met before, for a girls night out at a club. They were nice and it was fun. I danced till I wanted to hack my legs off at the knees, because my feet hurt so much.

I was doing pretty well with the back-off vibe, as were the other girls. The only boys who really didn't get a clue were off their faces drunk and all of about 18-20 years old. Sorry kiddos. Notice though, that I said was doing well. One boy, my age, got under my radar and I'm not exactly sure how, since he literally wasn't doing anything, wasn't really doing much of anything except smiling and standing on the dance floor.

One thing that really annoys me is people standing around on the dance floor. If you're not going to at least attempt to move, go stand somewhere else. This boy was standing near us, not approaching us at all, smiled when we looked directly at him, but kept to himself. He had amazing eyes and I think that's what made me not so annoyed at him for not following my dance floor rules. Still, after a while, I got frustrated and went over and asked him if he was dancing on the inside. We were instant friends after that. His name is Jason, so some of you who read here will understand, maybe, why that got me even more hooked. Sigh... anyway...

One of the girls I was dancing with started in with all the questions about singled/married/kids/etc etc. He passed muster in that regard. The topic of kids ended in everyone agreeing that pets are included in that category. He has dogs, I have cats, she has 3 kids. We all shared our respective photos on our phones. Felt a bit like a single parent meeting.

He is soooo wrong for me in terms of partner material, so that's definitely out. No chance. He smokes, he does party drugs, he's a dog person and he's just out of a relationship in which he got burned big time, too. All big negatives. He redeemed himself slightly by not really being a drinker, but the other stuff way outweighs that.

That didn't stop a conversation about going fishing one weekend and relentless pestering from the other girl for us to exchange numbers so that the fishing thing would actually happen. Not something I would normally do, especially considering all the above, but I did.

The ego boost from having someone who wasn't drunk being genuinely respectful and complimentary, was well needed and well timed. When I couldn't stand anymore and needed to go sit down somewhere, he walked with me down to the casino (only place there were any chairs!) and we sat and talked at the slot machines for a while. He took my hand, walking back to the club. That was a little overwhelming...but nice. Inside the club, a guy was walking around selling roses and he bought one for me. That was overwhelming...and made me feel a little guilty, but he wanted to and I'm smart enough to know it would have been bad form for me to refuse.

I'd driven to the city and picked up one of the girls on the way. He and his brother walked us back to my car at the end of the night. I said I didn't expect him to call. He said he would. We'll see. I dropped my passenger off at her house and got home just before 5am (holy cow! it's been a while since I've done that!) and received a text message shortly after saying he had a good time and thanking me for a nice night. I appreciate thoughtfulness.

Sooo not my type, yet such a nice person, and my ego got the boost it needed. Fishing may or may not happen. I really don't care. It's just good to know there are still nice people out there. And that includes the girls I met. I'm glad I went, for a lot of reasons. I almost didn't, but I know that the only way for me to get a bigger social circle is to actually be more social. I've booked in for 3 more, quite different events over the next few weekends and I'm looking forward to it. Some of the girls I met last night will be at those things and I'll get to meet more new people.

It's so nice to not be feeling unwell all the time and have the motivation and the energy to go out and have fun again - without any medication. I'm so glad I was brave enough to go out and make new female friends. It's sooo much harder to do that than to meet boys....and a much better thing for me to be doing right now.

Town n country

I swear someone in my street owns a sheep. I live in suburbia. Today, I was out lying in the sun, reading my book and minding my own business when suddenly there's, "Baaaaah ... Baaaaaaaaaaah".

The bleating has continued all afternoon and I'm completely intrigued. Who the heck keeps a sheep in their backyard in the middle of suburbia?

Oh yeah, I live in the european/middle eastern part of town. I shouldn't be surprised.

Wassup, Doc?

I've never had a full medical before. Lots of doctor visits, a number of hospital stays, but not the whole shebang at once. Till today. It's a requirement for my new job (original job #1) .

The doctor is about as far away from my current work, my new work and my home as you can get, so I always knew there'd be an adventure of some sort in there somewhere.

I arrived, filled out numerous forms and handed them back. While still standing at the counter next to a couple of construction workers, one of the receptionists leaned over, handed me a pee jar and said, loud enough for the entire suburb to hear, "You need to give a urine sample. The toilet's out the front. Just do it, then take it with you back to your seat and wait till you're called".

All I could muster in response? "Lovely!"

She was right. The toilet was out the front. Back out the front door and basically in the middle of the entrance way, so if anyone came in the outside door, they'd be lucky to not walk in on you. So, not only do the people in the waiting room hear that you have to go pee and watch you walk back out the door to do it, everyone coming in knows as well, then the whole lot of them watch you come back in and sit down with your nice, warm little jar in your lap. Mmmm fun. That's when I noticed the sticker on the sample jar read "Mr".

When I was called, I wasn't sure if it was me they were after, because the woman seemed to be confused. We figured out it was me and I mentioned as we walked down the hall that they'd put 'Mr' on the jar. "Yes, it's late in the afternoon and I think the girls out the front are a bit flustered." Okaaay.

Nurse #1 did my height...short, weight...not quite boombah, pulse....got one, blood pressure...low. Allergic to anything? Yes, and explained. Operations? Yes, and explained. Medications? Yes.

I was a little annoyed, because I'd just filled all that information out on the form she was reading in front of her. Next, she magically disappeared for no identifiable reason and was replaced with Nurse #2 who.asked.everything.all.over.again.

She asked if I'd done a hearing test before. I haven't. Basically, you sit in a booth not much bigger than a phone box, with earphones on and you half expect them to pump Gloria Gaynor through the earphones and let you sing karaoke. But it wasn't like that. Little ping noises first in the right ear, then the left ear, of different tones and volumes. You have to press a button each time you hear a ping. They had two of these booths. Only one was available, because someone pressed the button in the other one too hard. How that could happen, I have no idea! Really, I was more concerned about the fact that they didn't wipe down the earphones with anything between people. The guy before me looked clean, but who knows where his ears have been....or the multitudes of people before him. Better not to think about it too long.

After that, I finally got to see a doctor. He looked like an actor whose name I cannot remember and he annoyed me from the first moment. "Hmmm... Eve... All about Eve....that's an old movie, you know." Duh! Really?

"Narcolepsy, huh? So when was the last time you...", and he pretends his head hits the desk.

"Um, that doesn't happen with me. I'm just tired all the time. I could sleep constantly."

Do this with your arms. Do that with your arms. Turn your hands this way. Now that way. Can you touch your toes? Squat? Ok, lie down. Lift your left leg. Right leg. Open your mouth and say "aaaaaaah". Put your left arm in, put your left arm out.... Do the hokey pokey and.... Ok, so not that bad...but almost.

"Oh yeah, I have a heart murmur too."

"Mmm, you have too. Narcolepsy, heart murmur and mitral regurgitation. You're rather complex, aren't you?"

"I guess..."

"Well, you must be sick of doctors by now. You can go. Go on, get out of here."

And that was that.

Oh, and I delivered my signed contract documents today. No turning back now!

Moody blues

Today's daily taunt motivation.

A broken heart is an open heart.
Gretel Ehrlich

Five girls, three days

You know it's going to be an interesting weekend when your top quality hotel knows you've got a booking for 5 people, but supplies the room with bedding and toiletries for four....then says you have to share those supplies with the fifth person. Can't say I was too impressed, considering I ended up being the fifth person. After phone calls from the other girls before I arrived, then from myself once I got there, I was privileged enough to be graced with my own pillow and towel. Only one of each, because apparently the hotel did not have any spare. WTF? Seriously!

Then there was the little issue of me sleeping on a roll-out bed. That would have been perfectly fine, except that I've slept in better beds in the outback, nowhere near civilisation. Yes, we filled out the 'how was your stay?' brochure and yes, we were rather unkind and it was warranted. I do have to say the actual rooms were great (apart from the blown light globe in the bathroom - mood lighting). The service sucked. Anyway, enough of that, coz it doesn't really matter. We had a good time, regardless.

Had a nice night out to dinner on Friday night and spent the day shopping at the QV markets and in the city on Saturday. Two of us really are not shoppers and we were just about going insane after about 6 or so hours wandering around. Everyone bought something and we staggered home early in the evening, complete with toilet paper and milk coz neither of those were supplied to the room either. Five girls. No loo paper. Not good.

There was a black ship docked right outside our hotel and we hadn't really paid much attention to it till we walked past it that evening on the way home. We discovered it was a real life pirate ship and upon closer inspection, one whose purpose is to stop Japanese (and other) illegal whaling under international laws. After doing the free tour and talking to the people on board, the three of us who took the tour disembarked feeling rather ashamed at our ignorance and contemplated becoming vegans. I bought a shirt. Not much in the scheme of things, but better than doing nothing.

Saturday night, we went out to dinner, then to a uppity restaurant-turned-club that just proved that having more money does not mean you have any more sense, or class. If you were a celebrity spotter, it was the place to be. All the big name jockeys here for the Melbourne Cup, and some media celebrities were there. We kept to ourselves and stayed there till the cigarette smoke made it unbearable. I'll be so glad when smoking's banned in all clubs and pubs in July!

From there, we went to another club where our feet literally stuck to the floor from the amount of drink spilt. Lovely. The music was better and we danced till the place closed. I obviously had my back off vibe working well. The only guy who talked to me was one who was more interested in one of my friends and the only comment he made to me was that I looked like I was doing Riverdance. I was offended, so I ignored him after that. I do not look like Michael Flatley. We walked the 20+ minutes back to the hotel. It was a better option than waiting more than an hour for a taxi in the cold, cold early hours of the morning. Whoever said the temperature was getting warmer, is lying.

Breakfast on Sunday was at 1pm and involved wine (for them, not me). We took the free tourist tram around the entire city to the Southbank markets. My friend C and I both bought magnets to treat pain etc. By the evening, we were both convinced they work wonders. Each of us felt much better after wearing them than we had all weekend. I couldn't carry one of mine in my bag, because I had my camera and credit cards with me, so C carried hers and mine in her jeans pockets. Plus she had one attached to the collar of her shirt to help with her headache. We joked that she'd have to be careful on the tram, or she'd be stuck to the metal and we'd have to leave her there. Strong magnets!

We had take-in fish and chips in the room on Sunday night, coz we were too damn tired to go anywhere else. Monday morning, we packed up and had breakfast in a restaurant near the hotel, dragged all our baggage to the train station (not an easy feat!) and caught trains home. The weather was a bit too crappy to take very many photos, but I have a few on my photo blog.

Today, I've done nothing except go out to bet on the Melbourne Cup (my horse came 3rd! Woohooo!), come home, go out to collect my winnings, buy some food and come home again to do more of nothing. It's been good! If the weather would just get warm like it's supposed to, it'd be even better.

Ho hum

I'm back from my weekend 'away'. I ate too much and spent too much money. Apart from a moment where I broke into tears briefly (just more proof I can be quite the emotional gal), out at dinner on Saturday night, I had a fairly good time. I'll probably post about it all tomorrow....including a very cool, real life pirate ship adventure.

Right now, I've worked myself into a stupid bad mood and made myself sad. Back with more when I'm feeling more sociable.

Girls just wanna have fun

I was going to say I'm going away for the weekend with my girlfriends on our annual weekend away. But we're not technically 'going away'. We're kinda staying. At Docklands, which is practically the city and not exactly pack-a-picnic-for-the-drive road trip stuff. However, it's away from our houses and our lives and responsibilities and that's what matters.

We were meant to be going somewhere else, but the booking agents stuffed up our booking. Not that we care now. I doubt we'll do much other than go out to dinner tonight. I know we're going out tomorrow night. The days, I suspect, will be spent bumming around by some of us and shopping by those (not me!) who are more inclined to do so.

I think I've taken on Pink's new song as my theme song. Really, the less boys who try to talk to me when we're out on Saturday night, the better the night will be for everyone. I'm not anti-boy. I just don't need them in my face right now. (Of course, that doesn't include you Ian! I have to check on the status of the facial hair for Mo-vember.)

I'll try to play nice, though. I'm not mean. I'm just not interested.

Check it out
Going out
On the late night
Looking tight
Feeling nice
It's a **** fight
I can tell
I just know
That it's going down
Tonight
At the door we don't wait cause we know them
At the bar six shots just beginning
That's when dick head put his hands on me
But you see

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Midnight
I'm drunk
I don't give a ***k
Wanna dance
By myself
Guess you're outta luck
Don't touch
Back up
I'm not the one
Buh bye
Listen up it's just not happening
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Break break
Break it down

In the corner with your boys you bet up five bucks
To get at the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah

You know who you are
High fivin, talkin ****, but you're going home alone arentcha?

Cause I'm not here for your entertainment
No
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
It's just you and your hand

I'm not here for your entertainment
No no no
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
Just take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Yeah oh

Stupid bank!

I'm in the process of changing banks, because the one I've used for the last 10 years has started charging for the most ridiculous things on an account that was initially charge free. I've got the new account set up and logged onto my online banking from bank #1 to see how much $ was in there before I closed that account. I have never, ever had a negative amount in an account. Ever. Tonight, it's -$6 or so. There was almost $20 in that account and now it's negative. I rang to close it and they said I couldn't, because it had a negative balance. Yeah, but only coz you guys took out so many damn fees on an account that I no longer use! So I'll transfer $6 into it tomorrow then ring to close the damn thing. Fine.

I've also opened a new credit card account with a different bank, so I could pay the balance of CC#1 off at 1/5 the rate. Bank #2 has approved the card, activated it and transferred the balance from CC#1. That means that Bank #1 should have put the $$ into my account, so that I no longer owe that amount. As soon as that happened (as it should already have happened) I was going to reduce that card by that amount, so I only had an absolute minimum left on that card. Bank #1 told me that the funds may not go into my credit card for up to 4 weeks!

I questioned why, if they had the money from the other bank, they were going to wait 4 weeks to put it onto my credit card. I also mentioned in not-so-polite tone that I thought it was disgusting that I could potentially be paying interest for up to a month on a balance that I shouldn't have because they have the money! The girl said nothing. N-u-thing!

I've already closed one account with Bank #1. And they wonder why.

If the money is not in that account by Monday, there's gonna be Bank War. I'm fully prepared for it too. The Phone War gave me plenty of practice!

Oblah dee oblah dah

Well, T rang in response to a text message I sent him. I wanted to clarify what he meant by 'keep in contact', since he said that's what he wanted, but he hadn't been doing it. Seems me wanting to have a calm conversation was interpretted as guilting him. It wouldn't have been if he took the time to listen to what I was saying and not trying to read some hidden message between the lines.

Anyway, he got upset and frustrated. I said he didn't need to respond to my emails and that his suggestion of no contact was a good one - the conversation removed any question of that in my mind. I tried to wish him well, and I truly do. He got more upset. He hung up on me.

Now I really know I made the right decision.

Life goes on.

Tagged, dammit!

This is E's fault.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship?
Great first question...sigh... T disrespected himself and let me down considerably in the process. I knew I deserved to be treated better, so I said I was done. If he had asked for a chance to redeem himself, I would have given it to him. sigh.... :-(

2. When was the last time you shaved?
Aaahh....when did I go out? Ack, about 10 days ago!

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
Doing my hair, running late for work. The usual.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Checking my email.

5. Are you any good at math?
Probably better than I think I am.

6. Your prom night?
I boycotted it.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Yes. Not anyone I want to admit to here.

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?
No

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
There's a song on my myspace profile?

10. Last thing received in the mail?
A phone bill.

11. How many different beverages have you had today?
One cup of tea and about two litres of water. Aren't I good?!

12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine?
Usually. It depends who I'm calling and what I want to say.

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Simple Minds

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
No

15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had?
When they took my wisdom tooth out and did a filling at the same time. Didn't hurt at the time, but I wanted to saw my head off with a butter knife the next day. Hurt like hell!

16. What is out your back door?
My courtyard. Very uninteresting, but good to lie in the sun and read now it's warm.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
Yes. I have a 4 day weekend and I'm going away for my annual girls weekend away till Monday.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
Is that a trick question?

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
I have no idea what that is, but it sounds ok.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes. The one in Brisbane, maybe 2 or 3 times when I was a kid.

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes. I use them after I've cleaned, which means they should only have water on them and not be 'dirty'. I'm not washing 7 towels a week!

22. Some things you are excited about?
My new job...whichever one it turns out to be.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
Jelly is the same thing, yeah? I like port wine flavour, or dark cherry.

24. Describe your keychain(s)?
There's nothing on there since I got in trouble with T for having personal info on it. He made me take it off.

26. Where do you keep your change?
In a container on my fridge, but don't bother robbing me, there's not enough there to make it worth it. It generally becomes pizza money when I can't think of anything else and don't have cash with me.

27. What kind of winter coat do you own?
Warm ones. What else?

28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Like I can remember that.

29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open. I used to close it. Maybe it's the freedom of living alone that's changed that habit?

30. Did U read this far? Consider yourself tagged (you know, if you wanna do it)!! Let me know if you do.