I have decided...

...(for now, at least)...... that I'm going to do like Trojan suggested and join the weirdos. Ok, not exactly, but I figure if anything, they're interesting blog fodder and I'll get some good stories out of them. So, I'm going to meet the clingy guy and the guy with the webcam alter-ego. There's another guy who is obsessed with Elvis and almost looks like him too, who seems like he'd have a story or two to tell. I think if I can't find anyone relatively normal to hang out with, at least I'll be introduced to new and interesting situations with the more odd ones.

I went out last night with Mr Sonotright - the anti-me. Apart from not condoning his drug taking/smoking/strip club frequenting/porn watching lifestyle, he's ok. We get on well and he's damn funny. I thought he'd be every sort of wrong, but he's got a lovely house and it's clean and he appears responsible (apart from all the above). So I don't mind considering him as friend potential. He's got a decent sized boat and I think it'll be fun to go fishing with him one weekend.

We went out for dinner near his house and he said to excuse him for walking funny, coz his groin hurt. I was like, hmmm, ok, why? He had the great idea to use hair removal cream on his boy bits....and being a boy, didn't quite follow the instructions exactly (like, test a small area first), left the stuff on too long and apparently just about took all his skin off, not just the hair. Poor guy. I think I laughed most of the night at his expense. At least he thought it was funny too...until each time he wanted to move. I don't think he'll do that again any time soon.

It's been an eye-opening weekend so far and tonight is NYE....the weekend is far from over.

I hope everyone has a happy and safe NYE, whatever you're doing and wherever you are. I'll be sure to report back on mine tomorrow....late, tomorrow.

So there!

Let's see if I get a response to this. I sent it to the taxi directorate and the Govt taxi agency.

Last Friday night, 22 December at about 11.20pm, I left a restaurant in Hardware Lane in Melbourne. There were no available taxis around, so I walked towards the centre of the city to see if there’d be more taxis around S...... St. I was ignored by a couple with their lights on, so I kept walking towards L..... St as I wanted to get home to ...... L.... St was busy, but the only taxis that went past already had passengers. I knew there was a service station on R........ St where some taxis parked, so I headed there.

On the way, a taxi stopped to let out some passengers. I crossed the street to see if he’d take me. I told him where I was going and he said he was there to pick up other passengers. He was obviously lying as he’d only just stopped to drop people off and there was nobody else around.

I thought I’d definitely get a taxi on R...... St. I waved down two available cabs and both refused to pick me up when I told them I was going to ......... By this time, it was almost midnight and starting to rain and the battery on my mobile was going flat. I rang 13.... at 11.55pm and told the woman who answered that I was by myself in the dark, I needed to get home, I’d been refused a ride by available taxis and I needed a taxi urgently. She said there were no available taxis in Carlton and to make other arrangements or call back in half an hour. I said I couldn’t wait that long in the dark, on a street corner, by myself and asked if she understood what I was saying. She just repeated to make other arrangements. If I could have made other arrangements I wouldn’t have needed to call a damn taxi in the first place!!

I didn’t want to wait on a corner in that area, so I kept walking, down the median strip of the road, heading north. It was only due to the kindness of a passenger already in a taxi that I was able to get a taxi. He was near the end of his trip and had the driver pull over to pick me up, before dropping him at his destination. I’m grateful to the driver and the passenger.

I think it’s disgusting that taxi drivers could refuse to pick up a lone female in the middle of the night, in the rain. Where is the customer service and the responsibility to the public? Is picking up a passenger for a quick buck in the city more important than getting someone home safely? ….and perhaps getting a reasonable, grateful tip in the process?

It’s VERY rare that I need to hire a taxi. The last time I hired a random taxi was back in August. He turned out to be unprofessional, a liar and a thief and STOLE $20 from me and got into an argument with my partner.

These are the very reasons taxi drivers have a bad reputation and in my opinion, from my experience, that reputation is appropriate. It’s unfortunate that the types of drivers who either ignored me or refused to pick me up are the same people who are picking up visitors to the city, from the airports etc. What a bad example of our city they’re giving, if that’s their regular attitude towards their job and their passengers!

It will be a long time before I ever give my money to a Melbourne taxi driver again and I’ll be making sure all my friends know of my experience and use other modes of transport whenever they can.

Yep, I'm convinced!

EVERYONE is weird or bent out of shape in some way. Here I was thinking I needed to keep seeing a psychologist!

Russian guy said tonight that he's going stir crazy coz he's spent the last three nights at home. Alright... I declined the invitation to go over there, but said I would consider meeting elsewhere (read: go out socially) tomorrow night. We'll see.

Mr Webcam's normal sounding alter ego emailed me another completely charming letter...at the same time he was logged into the webcam site. Niiice...

Mr Idon'tcare apologised for freaking out that I didn't reply to him instantaneously.

A married 51yo man from my social group website tried to chat me up and said he wants to spoil me. He's one click away from being reported.

And I got an email from a guy who has the same hairstyle as me.....except his hair is much longer.

I'm considering changing my partner preferences. Surely women aren't as complicated? Maybe I'll become a hermit and go live in the outback. Or start a commune! There are enough odd people out there... Ian, can I rent out a wing in the Scara-mansion?

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Gettin' old

You mean I should do my hair a bit like this, Ian?
See ya soon! I'll be the one with the walking cane!

Got my running shoes on

I don't get it. I had this illusion in my head that there might be some fairly normal guys still out there in the world....single ones, without some kind of major issue or hangup.

Tuesday, I went out after work to meet a guy for dinner. I was ready to fall asleep within a few minutes. I ate way more food than I wanted to, simply because I thought having food in my mouth was much easier than having to talk to someone who was on a completely different planet than me.

On Christmas Eve, a guy sent me an email and he sounded pretty good. In fact, he had many similarities to me and I was mildly hopeful that he'd keep my interest for more than a couple of seconds. But I'm wary of people now and a big ole skeptic, so I did a search on his user name and email address. Well, well! He's also on one of those webcam sites. Not just like AFF. One of those live streaming ones (I had to sign up to see his profile...part of that is downloading plugins for their specific webcam software...which I didn't do!) that has ads like, "find someone to f*** tonight". It also shows what time you were last logged on. Merry Christmas to him! He's still emailing me. I'd like to think they're from his twin brother, or something, because I like what he has to say. Pity he has the same likes as the stranger I lived with. He wants to meet next week. I think I'll give him a chance to fill me in on his hobbies, then I'll fess up that I know. We'll see. Maybe I don't have to think that far ahead...

Mr Charming sounded too good to be true. He does volunteer work, has a profile that reads very honest and down to earth - none of the usual fluff and crap. Doesn't smoke. Doesn't drink. His first email was polite and respectful. He opened up more in his second email and was emotional, once you get past the text-ese...

What u see is wot u get! Its a beautiful thing 2 b serious! Your not 2 serious. That normally means ur loyal and no what the word commitment means. Not alot of men know what commitment means. Normally commitment 4 men is in their [underwear]! I normally get the 'i'm a smartass just 2 get in a woman pants' line or 'whats the catch?' line! That hurts cause i am telling the truth and theres only 1 way 2 find that out - by meeting me!

Then he went on about all the romantic things he would do for his girl. I didn't have time to respond, coz I went out unexpectedly after that. I returned home to two messages...

Sorry if I scared u off....
Didn't mean to :)
Look, if I said anything that offended I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be pushy :)
If I don't get a response to this message, I'll take it I stuffed up and said something that offended and I'm sorry :) I won't bother u again :)

and....

Look, if I offended, please say so, cause i am very upfront and understanding so u can say so and I don't care :)

Breeeeaaaathe!! He seems like a genuine guy, but intensity like that has a tendency to scare a girl off quick smart! Romance is nice. Smothering is not. Might have to tell him to cool his heels a bit.

Yuri was behind door #4. He's a smoker and I'm kicking myself, because if I had seen that (dunno how I missed it!) I would have told him buh-bye and left it at that. He's also into party drugs (deja vu, no?). He's tall, 28 and Russian. Last night was a bit of a "did that really happen?" kinda thing. He left me a message at midday. I responded at about 5pm. We were out having a drink together by 10pm. Surprised us both!

He lives about 10 minutes away from me in the next suburb. In another one of my knowing things without knowing how I know moments, we talked about having coffee at his place. I said, "You live in G... Drive, don't you?" I think I scared him. Anyway, I drove him back to his place (my girlfriend lives in the same street, so I wasn't too concerned). He had beer. I had coffee. My $20 is STILL safe!

You know Hugh Grant's housemate in Notting Hill? His housemate looked so much like that guy that I almost laughed out loud when I saw him.

Sitting in their lounge, I learnt that he moved out from his ex 3 weeks ago, has a girl on the side for when he wants sex, and basically gets any girl he wants when he goes to clubs, if he's interested in picking up on that particular night. Afterwards, he told me that he likes me too much to just get physical. Well, thank you...I think! I left at 2am after he'd said about 30,000 times about how surreal it all was that I was there. I was a bit 'whatever' about it, but maybe it was some Russian guy intensity thing. I do like him though. He's logical and scientific, but also showed me some stuff he wrote that's more poetic and depressing than most of the stuff I write. It was so sad I loved it! Ha!

I got these text messages when I got home...

When you left, I felt like I lost something. I know I'll see you soon, just felt empty. .... Sleep well creature of blondeness. I like you, don't break my little heart.

Honestly, as nice as it is to hear stuff like that, it's too much, too soon. I've posted the things these guys said, because I'm so surprised. I really thought it was just girls who got so full on, so quickly. I don't understand how people can present themselves in a certain way, yet leave out things like "oh, by the way, my hobbies include cyber/real sex with strangers". And party drugs? Does everyone do that, too? It makes me wonder if it's normal now. Is it?

If it is, I'm not sure I can deal with it. It's hard not to be completely untrusting and cynical. To his credit, Yuri did say (unprompted) that he has no interest in cyber crap, or porn. I actually believe him. He just loses points for sleeping with anything that walks and smoking/taking drugs.

I dunno. I just don't get it. It all certainly makes me completely disinclined to get close to anyone any time soon.

Smoke and mirrors

Thursday's post moved up to move the last two posts down. I'm gonna take the photos off later today.

The fires are still burning and the city is still covered in smoke. Yesterday, it was difficult to breathe. We go walking along the river at lunch time, but none of us ventured outside the building, because it was too hot and too smoky. They're predicting rain tomorrow and I really hope it gets at least some of the affected areas.

Today wasn't so bad, but it was hotter. I went out with the rest of my department for our Christmas lunch to a Vietnamese restaurant. Me and 14 guys. Sometimes it's weird being the only girl, but not with the guys I work with. I'm just one of the guys and I like it like that. Ok, so they were all drinking beer and I was drinking Baileys with mint (OMG Ian, that stuff rocks!!). I shared a bottle with one other guy. We didn't drink it all, despite my boss' encouragement. We took it back to the office and we intend to drink it some time tomorrow morning, before the official break up bbq lunch we're having for the whole company. I like the fact that my boss is cool enough to not have a problem with us drinking on the job....even if we probably won't really do that.

I have to also talk about my sister's wedding. It went as well as it could go. My nephew walked around the entire day with a sullen look on his face. I can understand. It's not just his mum and him anymore. It's them, plus her new husband, plus his 4 daughters (who don't live with them, but still...). Not only that, they're moving to the other side of the country and leaving behind everything they know. Tough on a 12yo boy.

Mum thinks everyone should think the same way as her. I tried to explain that just because you think you're right, it doesn't mean everyone else is wrong. That's when I got told I'm disagreeable and argumentative and don't let mum have her own opinions. Yeah, that sounds familiar, mum! Ah well.

I did have one moment during the reception where I was getting annoyed with certain things. I went off to the bathroom and gave myself a "this isn't about you" talking to and was more settled after that.

The actual wedding was great. My sister looked awesome (I'll post some pictures for a while but I won't keep them on here long) and her hubby dressed in his Navy dress whites. They looked great together. The groomsmen and bridesmaids looked great. The girls wore bright pink and the guys wore white shirts - untucked, with bright pink ties. The ring bearers wore the same, but with bright pink thongs (that's flip flops to the uninitiated to Aussie slang). It was a beach wedding and a hot day, so it was appropriate.

Now, about the family intricacies... My family grew more than I realised on the weekend. I knew my sister's husband had a 4yo daughter. I didn't realise he had three others; one who has a stepchild and husband of her own. I knew my sisters' half brother (my quarter brother? :-p) would be at the wedding with his wife and daughter. There's another sister as well, but she is not well, so she didn't attend. I think I already told the story on here once before about the half brother? My sisters have been looking for him for about 10 years. By one of those freaky coincidences, he happens to be one of new husband's best friends. Not only that, his son has the same name as younger sister's son. Their birthdays are one day apart. Two of my sisters and half brother all honeymooned at the same place. How's that for coincidence? Aaand, in the photo of my sister with the two blonde girls? They're not twins. One is new husband's daughter. The other is half brother's daughter.

I liked new husband. There was an undercurrent of unease in peoples' conversations about him and I can see why, but I'm not going to pre-empt issues like everyone else seemed to be doing. I also liked half brother and his wife. They're great.

Ok, here's a run down of the photos. I'll probably remove them from here on Saturday. The first is my sister and her son. The second is the bridesmaids and flower girls. BM on the far right is my youngest sister and that's her daughter in front of her.

The next is sister's son up a tree (he went up there coz he was upset and didn't want his photo taken. He didn't realise my brother and I both thought it was a great shot and once he was up there, he'd be trapped. hehe) In the one beside that, my sister is talking to her stepdaughter and half brother's daughter. Those girls look so similar it's spooky. Oh, that's my mum in blue in the background.

Pretending to sign the marriage certificates, after they'd already been signed. I think the one beside that is new husband's father doing a reading during the ceremony. The last photo is the groomsmen. Left guy is new husband's best mate, middle is new half brother, right is other sister's husband.

No, it didn't occur to me to get someone to take some of me with my sister, with my camera.

Yup!

Baileys with mint rocks! Ian was right. I haven't had so much as Ian that I can't type, but I am typing slower! (that didn't have a 'w' in it the first time I typed it!). I think if I get up from my chair, I'll be a tad dizzy. Good thing I don't have to talk to anyone right now....not for another three hours anyway. Out to dinner with a bunch of strangers. Should be interesting.

Hey, Ian, I'll be in the city. Wanna come?

Sliced

Sometimes, I just know stuff. I don't know why, or how. I just do. Like over the weekend, I was at my sister's hotel and she walked into the kitchen and I said, "Your phone's on the table in the lounge". She asked how I knew that's what she wanted. I don't know. She said I'd always done that. She told me the only time it really upset her was when a friend of hers went missing and I said they'd never find him. They didn't. I don't remember it, but she recalls it clearly.

I've known for a while that T was seeing someone else. I didn't want to know, but I had a feeling. I tried contacting him a few times and he didn't respond. Two days ago he finally said he'd call, then didn't. I haven't spoken to him in ages and I sent a text tonight asking him to just be honest....coz there's nothing worse than being ignored. Well, there is, but when you know something, but you have no reason why you know, and you're seeking validation, then it's pretty annoying. Ignoring for any reason is rude. But anyway...

He rang. I was right. It didn't upset me in the way I expected it to. I suppose I'm a little jealous that he's dealt with things so easily. I did expect him to find someone pretty quickly. To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel. It validates a lot of things I've felt and closes the door for good where I wasn't sure if the door was closed or not. Knowledge is better than guess work. I'd have liked to be able to use my intuition to deal with things easier and sooner, but I needed facts to back it up.

Merry Christmas to me, huh? It's a new year soon...

I'm meltiiiiiiing!

Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration.

I changed my entire diet; the way I eat, when I eat and what I eat, four weeks ago. At first, I didn't notice much difference. By the second week, I was sleeping better and had more energy.

Now, I've lost 4.7kg (10.1 pounds!) doing hardly any exercise and a total of 13.5cm off my body - 8.5cm of that off my waist alone! The rest came off my chest and hips and I'm quite pleased about both. I can't believe it! The girl who's monitoring my progress didn't believe it either and did my measurements twice, to be sure.

If this is what feeling healthy feels like and the results it gets, I'm going to keep going with it. Yes, I miss cake and chocolate and all those things. But it's worth it!

Back next week with a wedding update! Have a good weekend folks!

Those were the days? Or are these?

I used to have time to blog, read blogs, read message boards, and generally do what I like during the day. These days, my lunch hour is the only time I stop during the day, I get home late and I can't be arsed looking at the computer too long at night. How things change, huh! Not having so much time to catch up on everyone is frustrating, but I'm trying to make time when I can.

I went for lunch yesterday with my old workmates; fearless offsider and another guy. Two of the few people I'm disappointed not to be working with anymore. If I could get them jobs where I am now, I would. It felt strange not going back to school with them, but it also felt good. That place was causing me more stress than I realised and the weight off my shoulders now is fantastic.

The guys I work with now are all pretty easy going as well. Most are in their early 20s. Very smart, nice guys, but still have that 'just outta university' demeanour. One brings Fruit Loops to work for breakfast and swears they are good for you and have no sugar. He gets hyped up in the mornings. I wonder why.

I've taken over a lot of work from the one person who's older than me. We often shake our heads at the other guys in that "you'll understand when you're older" way. Maybe I mentioned it already, but we're across the road from the Collingwood Childrens Farm and we walk the track along the river and through the farm at lunch time. It's a 20 minute round trip. So interesting what you can find out about a person in a 20 minute stroll that you wouldn't learn in the office.

We talked about our outside work interests, what we do on weekends, and all that stuff. I mentioned I'd taken four pairs of trousers to be taken up on Saturday, because I've lost enough weight in the last few weeks that they've been dragging on the ground. Not a good look! New offsider said that he'd noticed yesterday that I lost weight, but didn't want to mention it.

Weight's one of those issues you never know whether to address or not. I'm surprised though that he didn't say anything, because all the guys know I'm on a health kick and I'm wanting to lose weight. They even said my lunches look so good (and healthy) they'd pay me to make theirs. Nobody has yet, so I just keep taking my own and they keep looking at it with envy.

I've lost 4.6kg in about 4 weeks, just from eating healthily and with minimal exercise. I'm certainly not starving myself. In fact, I'm eating more than I have in a long time. Just the right things in the right way, instead of the crappy things. I tell ya, I feel better, I have more energy and I'm sleeping better. Feeling good feels good. I think I'm almost close to discovering what 'normal' feels like.

In a few days, I'll rediscover what uncomfortable feels like. Can't say I'm looking forward to my sister's wedding, for a number of reasons. My brother and his girlfriend have both said on separate occasions and unprompted, that they can't stand the guy my sister is marrying. He's made some comments that really haven't gone over well...arsehole/controlling statements. I'm trying to withhold judgment.

I'm also going to meet my sisters' brother. Mum will too. She says their dad just up and disappeared one day, so it'll be interesting to see how she reacts to the son. She says she's ok with it. We'll see. I'm not sure what I think about meeting him yet. He's Navy and around my age, so at least I might have something to talk with him about. I'm not sure if his family are going to be there or not.

Nobody's ok with me staying in a hotel, except my sister who's getting married. For peace, and my sanity, it really is the best thing for me to do. My stepmum said it's divisive, but if I stay with mum, I'll go insane. If I stay with my sister, mum with think I'm taking sides with dad, who's also staying with my sister.....across the road from mum's place. See? Hotel, good. Family, not good.

My current mood? Hmmm, dunno. Most things in life are pretty positive right now. There are a few gaps, but nothing that a bit of temporary filler won't fix.

Hey Rich!

I got your email! Thank you!

Last time I tried responding, the lovely military had my email blocked. I tried again to reply to you. If you don't get anything, can you email me another address to write to you, please.

Take care,
E xx

From NASA's Earth Observatory

Two days ago.












Today

This is a bushfire unlike any other.

Fuelled by the big dry and capable of burning with equal ferocity night and day, its potential for devastation is enormous. More.

Where there's smoke...

...there's fire. Lots of it! You should be able to see the Melbourne Cricket Ground in this photo.

I've been thinking of words to describe what the city looks like today and I can't find one that explains not only what it looks like, but what it feels like, too. It's just surreal. I drove to the shopping centre at about 10.30am this morning and had to put my lights on, because visibility was that bad. And it's hot today. Soooo hot! It reached 37.8C (just over 100F). Tomorrow is expected to be the same.

There's bushfires and there's bushfires. This one ain't a picnic and it's almost hard to comprehend the magnitude. To think that there have been only one or two worse, in history, kinda puts it in perspective. Here's just one article.

Check out the photos from The Age online. And these. I was surprised that the smoke had reached the city so soon. I shouldn't have been though. Hot, north winds helped it along. I'm more surprised that the smoke has crossed the Tasman and is almost reaching the northern part of Tasmania.

Shoot the messenger?

The downside of my job? The camera that's watching me all day. That's ok, though. I'm getting used to it...and I'll be moving my desk soon.

The upside? We have full access to msn messenger. I'm sure there's a work reason, but I don't know what it is. Anyway, it was great to chat with the lovely Sara today...and my now ex-fearless offsider yesterday.

But a strange thing happened. I hadn't been on long when I got a message from a guy who contacted me on matchdotcom before I met T. He said hi and asked if I was still with "the guy from Perth". No....unfortunately. I was busy so I didn't say much more. He said he had to sign off and go to work, but he'd catch up again soon. Oh, he's up in Brisbane.

Next, I got a message from a guy asking if I remembered him. Yes, you live on the Gold Coast. He asked if I was still single. I said I wasn't for a long time, but now I am....unfortunately. He asked when I was next going to be on the Gold Coast. I said I have no reason to go there. I got busy again after that, so I guess he signed off. I don't have either dude on my list, so I don't know.

Later in the afternoon, I got an email from another guy I met around the same time. Well, not met - just exchanged a couple of emails. It was a group email to say his business was moving offices. I almost replied, but I decided against it. He seemed like a nice enough guy, from what I can remember. What I can't remember is what put me off meeting him in the first place. I know there was something that made me apprehensive, but I can't remember what it was.

I'm just a little shocked by this. I'm in a place where I'm still comparing everything and everyone to what I had with T. Boys aren't a consideration right now. If part of me didn't like the sudden unsolicited attention, I'd probably tell them to go away.

And, no, Ian, I won't be doing the bouquet dive at the wedding. I hate that tradition. Seems juvenile. Besides, knowing my luck, I'll meet some interesting dude at the reception or at my hotel, who lives out the back of whoop whoop and I will never see again.

Speaking of the wedding, I told my mother last night that I'd be staying in a hotel. I won't go into the whole conversation, but let's just say she was unhappy. I didn't feel guilty. Unfortunately, my dad is unhappy about it too, but for different reasons. If I have to, I'm going to point out the big, fat, pink elephant in the room while I'm there. Not on the wedding day, coz that's not on. Maybe Sunday...if I have to.

So popular

You know you live in a multicultural city when English is your Lord Mayor's second language, and sometimes you have to listen carefully to understand what he's saying. He's popular here in Melbourne. He's even had a hip-hop style song written about him.

Melbournians would not be surprised to know that he's been voted World's Best Mayor.

Melbourne Lord Mayor John So has had his cult status confirmed globally after being voted World's Best Mayor in an international poll. More here.

I love this city.

Pieces

The new deputy leader of the opposition has the same last name as me. It's only been a day and I'm sick of hearing my name on tv.

I discovered today that we have cameras in our department at work. One is about 3 metres in front of my desk, right over my head. VERY disconcerting. All the more reason to have my desk moved. I thought having my back to everyone was bad. Being watched all day is just weird. Talk about security!

Being healthy is so damn expensive. I think I might become a tree hugger and start growing my own stuff. But I've found out I like sweet potato. I used to hate it. Now I buy it and roast it of my own volition. It snowed here in late November, so it shouldn't be surprising. Looks like anything's possible these days.

I think I've found a hotel to stay in for my sister's wedding. She's going to check it out tomorrow and let me know if it's decent. The phone call to tell mum after I book should be interesting.

No, I still haven't written my promised rant. I'll just say this. If there was one thing I wanted most to sink in to T's head, it would be this... In the scheme of suckful things happening to people, missing one promised phone call to get shit-faced drunk with your mates might not seem like a big deal. But when a phone call is all you have, it's a huge deal. And if you can't be there to stick through the more difficult times, it kinda makes the easy times pointless, doesn't it? I'm not sure why I'm still struggling with things. In some ways I am. In some ways, I'm not at all. I'm stuck way more in limbo than I'd like to be and than I thought I'd be. It pisses me off.

Good thing I'm seeing the psych on Wednesday. I have a lot to talk about.

Sunday humour

To offset the Sunday rant I'll be posting later.

Who knew?

Working keeps you busy! I'm doing longer hours at work, doing a job I have no clue about, but I have managed to fumble through a full week without stuffing anything up - and I'm enjoying it. Although that might be because I've made up my own procedures coz nobody else, apart from my boss (who's rarely in the office) knows how to do what I'm doing - seriously. There are very strict rules and procedures about everything, which is good, because I'm organised to the point of being anal at work (different story at home!) and I can work most things out by myself. I like that part of it. Maybe that's why I'm finding it easier than I expected. But I tell ya, I don't have one spare minute at all. That's a shock to the system!

I was surprised to notice that my last post was Wednesday! Time flies when you have a real job, huh!

I haven't really done much since then, except work and - strangely - avoid the computer somewhat once I get home. Mr Sonotright has been very consistent in his contact; texting every day and calling at least once a week. It's so strange. I saw him last night and told him he's the anti-me and everything I'm not looking for. He said, "Well, I smoke and you don't. I do drugs and so do you." I replied, "Yeah, but my drugs are good for me, yours are not", as he rolled a joint to have at some stage later on.

He's going to a bikini contest at a strip club tonight. I told him the concept grates on me (I was being diplomatic). He said, "What? You don't like bikinis?" I did laugh at that, coz it was funny. He just likes everything I hate. And yet...he still wants to hang out. I don't mind his company. He's polite and honest...and a distraction from thinking about T, if I'm honest with myself. Eh, but if I'm more honest with myself, it makes me think about him more, sometimes, too. T's embedded in my head more than anyone ever has been. I miss so much all the things we did. For the most part, I'm dealing well with things - I think - but today's been a bit of an emotional day for me....melancholy, not sad.

The funny thing is, I think the new diet/lifestyle is making a difference in that regard. If you told me a month ago that I'd be making garlic beef strips with oven roasted vegies for dinner (or plain, natural yogurt with fruit for breakfast!), I would have laughed. Now? I'm enjoying making healthy stuff and it's showing. At least, I can feel that it's doing something. This is usually my PMS week. Yesterday, I realised I hadn't been moody at all. Maybe I was too busy! Ha! So one day of feeling a bit blah is not so bad in comparison to a week of the same.

There's only one thing that's distressing me at the moment. Months ago, when I poured mineral water on my laptop (not recommended!), the hard drive was the only thing - thankfully - to survive. When I gave the loan computer back to school after I left, I kept my hard drive and got an external casing for it, so I could put stuff on this new computer. One slight problem...I can't find my email files. They're not where they should be and a search brought up nothing. Meaning? I hope like hell I haven't lost all my old email, my notes and my calendar. I'm not too distressed just yet. I have faith I'll find the right files and be able to transfer them to this computer. If it turns out I can't, then I'll break down.

My sister's wedding is on the 16th. I'm going to get some serious calming acupuncture between now and then. I'm sure I'll need it. Especially when I tell my mother I want to stay in a hotel, and not with her and my sociopathic sister and her boyfriend. Fun times.