Timely

I get career info type emails every now and then. This came in just now.

Top Ten Signs That You Need a New Job

10. Your outgo exceeds your income. Well, not really, but that's just because I'm a hermit and don't go out much. Ha!

9. The most rewarding thing you did this week was sharpen all twelve of your pencils to the same length. Note to self: buy pencils, so you have something to do.

8. You’re reluctant to be a Career Day speaker at your kid’s fourth-grade class. Um, yeah, ok.

7. Everyone in your work group got a raise except you. Bwahaha. Good one. We all got raises, acutally. They were just barely visible after tax.

6. Your friends all have jobs that sound more interesting than yours. Everyone's job sounds more interesting than mine.

5. You were late for work three times this week, but you just don’t care. Ok, I've been late to work every day for...well, forever. Even my boss is past caring.

4. There’s a meeting at 3:00 to talk about the upcoming reorganization, and you’re not invited. I'd probably fall asleep anyway. Serious. It's happened before.

3. Your boss keeps forgetting your name. I don't mind. He forgets his name sometimes too.

2. You constantly daydream about being a forest ranger. Hmmm, hadn't considered that one...

1. Your company was recently acquired, and you spent two weeks worrying that you’d be laid off. After that you worried that you wouldn’t be. Hehe, no, but this one is still amusing.

I hope you got a kick out of this list. While it was written tongue-in-cheek, there’s a grain of truth hidden in these statements. If you can identify with any of them, then you need to take action. Your work life won’t get better on its own, but where do you start?

Start right where you are. Find out what you do well naturally, and what motivates you most. Then you can find a job that calls for what you have to offer.

Ah, for it to be so easy...

Another reason...

...to be glad I'm no longer associated with the stranger I lived with. The guy who has had the charges dropped over that infamous child death in Colorado...looks rather eerily similar to the stranger I lived with.

Family part 13 - rewriting history

We're in the car, driving through Perth on Saturday and it's tense because mum and T had an altercation the previous night (To be dissected - maybe - in another post. No, the weekend didn't go particularly well in that regard).

Mum starts fondly reminiscing about her jerk ex-bf who made our lives hell for years.

Mum: [jerk] grew up here. His dad thought they had too many kids and he was the youngest so he threw him in the river and his mum had to get him out. (Probably not verbatim, coz I was too in shock to pay full attention.)

Me: (thinking) Pity he got out...
Me: Mum, that's not somebody I have any good memories about.

Mum: Really? Why? Was he awful to you?

WTF????????????

Me: Mum, he was awful to ALL of us.

Mum: Well, he did buy us a house...

I'm glad I was in the front seat and she couldn't see the shock and horror on my face. Her brain has rewritten history entirely. She says awful and untrue things about dad constantly and only ever recalls the 'good' things this evil, horrid, toxic person did.

Truly, I don't understand. But, it explains a lot.

Group participation #2

I think my last group participation post was for something Ian had going on his blog. He's at it again. This time, it's poetry. Go on over and add your line in the comments!

More odds than ends

I went for my interview with the HR guy from the newspaper yesterday afternoon. It was supposed to be short. I talked his ear off for an hour. Sometimes though, I really should not get so relaxed with people...

It was drawing to a close and he asked if there was anything I wanted to know. After I'd brought up a couple of things I was interested in then I asked about salary.

Him: What are you looking for?
Me: Tell me your range and I'll tell ya if it's ok.
Him: Ha, no you tell me.
Me: Hey, I'm the one askin' the questions here!
I tell him what I'd like...
Me: So where's that sit with you?
Him: Well, it's at the higher end of the scale, but within the range we're looking at.
Me: Ok, cool, so I haven't ruled myself out already.
Him: Nope. This is the publishing industry. We have lots of money.
Me: Dammit, I should have asked for more!
Him: Well, actually our plant operations managers don't get much more than that.
Me: Gee, sucks to be them huh!

Ack, yes, I said that! Despite me being a doofus, I was relatively happy when I left. I know they're interviewing a couple of other people and one's internal (probably my biggest threat, I guess), so I'm not going to get overly excited or anxious. I might start sweating if I get an appointment with the actual guy I'd be working for.

Meeeeanwhile, I fly to Perth on Thursday, where I'll be meeting my mother, taking her to her hotel and praying that the time from then till Sunday night goes quickly and smoothly. This will be the first meeting between her and T. Gawd, I'm more nervous than I probably should be, but I know them both. Left alone, they'd probably drive each other insane.

I should mention my mum is going to Perth with me for a family function, not just coz I wanted her to spend 4 days with me and T! Sheeesh!

Blah dee blah dee blah....the phone saga continues....it's gotten more complicated and this little black duck is getting very, very irritated.....irritation compounded because phone company #1 guy will not answer his phone. Ironic huh? Stay tuned...

Livid

Yesterday afternoon, I was so angry beyond comprehension that T was worried I was going to top myself. I wouldn't have, but from the text messages I sent him, I guess I could see why he was concerned.

My phone wars continue.

I ditched phone company #1 (PC1) back in June and transferred to phone company #2 (PC2). PC2 even had me listen and agree to a recorded message and record all my answers to make sure we were all happy. I told them I was changing all my services to them because I hated PC1 for all the trouble they'd caused me and that I didn't want to deal with them for a second longer. PC2 said no problem and we'll even give you free long distance on your land line for the next two months.

My very first bill from them, for my mobile, was wrong. I wasn't getting the free options I was entitled to and they'd put me on the wrong bonus plan. I rang and complained and they said, well we'll give you $20 off the bill. I said they should just get the computer to recalculate it. The computer can't do that. (huh???) I went through every item myself and recalculated manually that I was overcharged more than $40, so I rang and said I want $40 off, not $20. They said fine, my bonus options were sorted out and I thought we were all happy again. At the time, I wondered why my land line bill only showed local calls, but I figured it was because I was getting free long distance. Fast forward to yesterday...

I got home and tried to ring T from my landline. There was a message from PC1 that my services were suspended for non-payment. WTF? So I rang them and explained I had no services with them since June and I wasn't going to pay any stupid bill for anything after that date. They said too bad, so sad, you can't get your phone back on. Small amounts of smoke started coming out my ears at that stage, as I dialled PC2 for an explanation.

I started off calmly with Rangga (yes, with two g's), the Indian guy who was unfortunate enough to answer my call. I asked what was going on. He said that my services were transferred from PC1 to PC2 in June, but that PC2 filled out the wrong form and PC1 spoke to PC2 in July and the long distance transfer was cancelled. "Not my problem", I say, "As far as I'm concerned, this is your fault and I should not have to pay a damn cent to PC1 because of your stuff up. Fix it, please." Rangga put me on hold and came back to me a couple of times, trying to appease my now rather irate self.

"We can't do anything", he says, to which I politely informed him that they might like to discuss the problem with PC1, fill out paperwork to backtrack my account to June and recalculate the amount to their rates. "I don't have the authority to do that." Ok, I understand and tell Rangga I know it's not his fault and that I'm not mad at him, but that I am not paying premium rate for calls to a company I no longer wished to deal with when I should have been paying ZERO to a company I thought had a better clue.

We went through the whole transfer rigmarole again, including voice records...during which I made it very clear that I blamed them and this should have all happened back in June and I was taking it further. He offered me another 3 months of free long distance calls. "Back dated?", I ask. "No, from when the transfer goes through in the next 10-21 days..." WTF? "Um, why can't you make that happen NOW?" He explains he's sure he's filled out the correct paperwork and it'll take a bit to get it processed.

I asked what I'm supposed to do in the meantime. I am not paying the bill to PC1, but while that's not paid, I have restricted phone services, because PC2 screwed up. He says PC2 can't do anything about that. We'll see.

Geez. I just want to be able to make a freakin' phone call every now and then! How the hell hard can it be?

On Monday, I'm going to ring the number of the highest person in PC2 that I can find and rant till their ears bleed. Then I'm going to call the guy from PC1, who told me he'd make sure everything was such that I wouldn't be charged any fees for cancelling my contract, because the bill they've suspended my phone over contains $100+ of cancellation fees.

I swear if they don't get this sorted out without me having to pay the bill to PC1 - for a mistake that was not mine - I'm writing to every damn newspaper and tv current affairs program I can think of. Watch me take on two major telcos at once!

Dark light

In the middle of the night, when you're alone with your thoughts, are they cloudy or clear? Things always seem magnified in the dark...noises, movements, thoughts.

So, when you're thinking, reflecting or analysing in the darkness, is that when there's real clarity, or does clarity come with the morning light and you can see the world around you?

When there is a discrepancy between your night thoughts and your day thoughts, which holds more weight? Does rational thought suspend when the lights go out and give way to compounded emotion? Does daytime logic twist and distort the clear night thought?

When there is justification for both, how do you know which is the more true of the two? Or are they the same, just from a different perspective?

Oops

I had one of those, "Can we just take back those last 10 seconds?" moments late this afternoon.

My phone rang and it was the HR manager for our major newspaper. I'd applied late last night for a role with one of their top bosses (and thought they'd tell me to take a hike). He was a nice guy and we were having a pretty cool conversation in which he made a passing comment that he thought I might not be at work at that time since school gets out at 3.30pm.

My brilliant, unthinking self replied, "Oh I wish I could finish work at 3.30pm!" Yeah, smart thing to say to a potential employer, brainiac.

"Really?", he says. Backtrack...backtrack...!

"Oh no, not really. I get a lot of work done in the afternoons...." Ok, so I would get a lot done if I had anything to actually do.

Surprisingly, we talked for another 15 minutes, he gave me more detailed info than he probably should have, and I scammed an interview for next Monday.

Tension

I feel like I've been mentally stretched so far that the slightest thing is going to make me snap. I'm not sure how much of it is actual circumstances and how much is me over-thinking circumstances and making myself more overwhelmed than I should be.

I've been put forward or considered for a few jobs through agencies. They're decent jobs and I've been quite interested in a couple, but the problem is the salaries are ridiculously low. My skills and experience apparently make me a good candidate (contrary to what I was told earlier this year, so who knows...)....but if I'm [now] so damn good on paper, why is nobody willing to pay what I'm worth? I went for a great interview last week...well, until $$ were mentioned. I rang the agency woman this afternoon and she said the company would probably be in a better position to offer me the role and salary I'm looking for in the next twelve months or so. Huh? So why put me forward now? Why did the company agree to see me, knowing I was out of their price range? I honestly don't get it.

Yesterday, it happened again. Another agency rang me and emailed the position description for what looked like an interesting job...that's paying more than $7K less than I'm on now! WTF? "Great skills and experience" obviously does not mean you're going to be paid anywhere near what your skills and experience are worth. It's disheartening.

I know I have to be patient. I know I'm putting a lot of my lack of happiness (note, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm unhappy) down to my current financial state. Getting a new job, having a fresh start, and being paid more in line with what I think I'm worth will ease a lot of the mental stress I've put on myself and take pressure off other areas of my life. Probably not the best way to be thinking. Especially if this process is going to drag out over time, as it's done so far. But it is the way it is.

I don't feel like I'm failing - can't think of a better word - but I'm not really getting anywhere either. I'm tired of being in this place in my head. I've been here too long.

Sigh....this is not the only thing I'm stressed about, but I really don't have the energy or concentration of thought to post about anything else tonight.

I'm just tired....in my body and in my brain.

Making headway

I saw a woman from an employment agency a few weeks ago. That was a feat in itself, because I'm not the average agency's ideal candidate. Go figure...I have too much experience across too many industries/job functions, so they don't usually look at me. The woman I saw gave me very specific advice about how to change my resume to get results. My G-d, I wish I met her two years ago!

I've had 4 agencies contact me since then. Two to say they liked me, but didn't have anything for me at the moment. I can handle that. The acknowledgement is better than nothing. I've had appointments with the other two. Both have put me forward for (very different!) jobs.

I haven't heard back from one, although I expect to tomorrow because they sent my resume to the client late yesterday, and I have an interview with the other client tomorrow. The woman from that agency actually told me that she thought they should give me the job (yeah, I know she's not supposed to say that). I'm asking considerably more $$ than they're expecting to pay, but the fact that they're willing to see me means they're at least somewhat interested and perhaps willing to negotiate. Agency lady said basically all I had to do was convince them I'm worth the money I'm asking. Yeah, so easy! Wait and see I guess. I'm hopeful that it'll go well, but I'm not going to get my hopes up.

Oh, I'm also doing some contract work in my spare time (see: mostly at work) for a company that's just starting up. It started off as simply setting up templates for their documentation, then corporate structure diagrams and stuff like that. Now I'm putting together their website. Ack! Busy...but I need the money and I'm grateful for the stimulation and the challenge.

Family - part 12 secrets revealed

My brother gave me a pretty hard time over dinner about not seeing my family enough. He said it would make them happy if I went to visit more often. I said it would not make me happy and I have to do what's best for me. He kept pushing it....till his girlfriend pointed out how stressed out and uptight he gets after being around my family for more than a few hours at a time. "...And therein lies the reason I choose to stay away...".

Things I found out over a risotto....

• Sister #2's new boyfriend (the one in the navy who she's moving to the other side of the country with) is apparently controlling and manipulative and went as far as saying that if my sister's son (age 11? 12?) misbehaved, he would send him to boarding school or military school. My brother's girlfriend was seriously unimpressed and called him on it. My sister #2 sat there and said nothing. That alone has me concerned.
  
  
• Sister #1 is the lying one who's always coming up with some terminal illness she supposedly has. Her daughter, my niece, lives in Italy with her family (best place for her, if you ask me). Sister #1 disappeared for a number of months a while ago. Prior to that, she and her bf went to visit my niece and hired a car with my niece's credit card. She didn't take the car back and instead disappeared and the only way my niece could find out where she was, was to call the bank and ask where sister #1's ATM card had last been used. She finds out it was used in Barcelona. This is after the car company say the car needs to be returned and the bill paid or my niece would be going to jail for theft. My niece and her husband drove from Florence to Barcelona (!!!) and went walking the streets to find my sister and her stupid boyfriend. Once they found them, bf got mad at niece's husband. Husband eventually footed the bill. Sister #1 and boyfriend were/are unremorseful.
  
  
• Brother's girlfriend told me of a 2 page letter my mum sent my brother for his 30th birthday. It told all about how awful dad was and how he wasn't there for my brother's birth and a bunch of other stuff. This upset brother's girlfriend to the point where she started to doubt my dad. Next time they were talking, she asked dad, who was upset that mum had blatently lied and explained that he was in fact there for both our births.
  
  
• Sister #3 calls my brother in tears, complaining about mum.
  
  
• Mum continues to bail out sister #1 financially, knowing all the things she's done, because she's her baby, her first born, she's special. She's 46!!!
  
  
• Mum and brother own a house together. Brother has told mum in no uncertain terms that sister #1 will never, ever be allowed to live in that house, no matter what.
  
  
• I have a lot of resentment about our childhood and question why nobody (sisters #1-3 and others) did anything to remove me and my brother from the environment we were in. Instead they all just moved away and pretended nothing was wrong. I found out my brother also has the same resentments. I always figured he did. I just hadn't heard it before.
  
  
• There's more, but that's enough for now, don'tcha think!
  

Sigh....no wonder I'm stressed this week....

Age might not...

...but lack of sleep certainly does weary them...er, me.

I took this picture with the camera on my phone while I was out to dinner with Ian and a couple of my girlfriends on Saturday night. I'm not sure exactly what it's supposed to mean, but I think it's showing the nearest exit to run to, if you can't afford to pay for your meal. I wish I was able to get a photo of the painting in the back of the restaurant, because that was certainly classified as a thing to make you go, "Hmmmm...". I even g00gled to see if I could find it somewhere, but no such luck.

A good night was had by all. At least I think so anyway. Ian, next time there'll be more cocktails, no carpark curfews, and karaoke will be had by all. Ha!

Onwards....

My mother gave me a couple of books for my birthday that, on face value, concerned me. One is called Earthly Delights. The other is Heavenly Pleasures. Apparently they're written by a Melbourne woman, about a woman who owns a bakery, and they're very funny. The picture of a woman in a black latex catsuit with a whip on the cover of one doesn't really give an accurate idea of the content....or maybe it does. I'll have to read and find out.

She also gave me a book called The War at Sea that has a photo of her father in it....one of the few we have....as well as a wall plaque from his ship. Soooo very awesome!

Dad gave me money (badly needed!) and my brother and his girlfriend took me to dinner. As far as birthdays go, this one wasn't so bad. T had a huge bunch of red tulips sent to my work. Yes, of course I've posted pictures. He deserves the kudos for all the effort he goes to so often. I don't have my real present yet, but I don't mind. He'll be here this weekend again and that's enough.

T's been away this week. Not unusual, but I've been unsettled and anxious and that's not good. I explained to him why. I'm not sure he completely understood. It's nothing he's doing intentionally....just stuff that's my 'stuff' to work through. I think I've taken some pressure off myself in telling him and maybe I'll sleep better tonight than I have the last two nights. So tired!

I have two more topics to talk about and this could get long. Better start a couple more posts....

Hide n seek - cat style

First, you find something to hide behind, so your sister can't see you. A boot will do just fine. Sneak out into the hall and crouch down so you can attack your sister if she decides to walk around the corner. Once you've attacked, run back into the bedroom and hide under the lamp table so she can't get you back.

Repeat x 10 while your person tries to get to sleep.

Computer says, "No"

T was unwell on Friday night and on Saturday for most of the day. I was cactus on Sunday for most of the day. If there was anything that could have gone wrong, or been misinterpretted over the weekend, it did.

However....we got to spend time together and that's the main thing. Aaand he did get moved to a room with a bath. Buuut we couldn't get dinner at the restaurant we wanted to go to. Never mind. We've learnt our lesson from not planning ahead.

He's coming here for the weekend on the 11th and I intend to plan nothing. (Yes, I realise that's completely contradictory to my last sentence. If we eat that weekend, food can come to us!)

I've caught some crazy throat virus thing that's going around. A lot of people from work have had time off. Considering I'm usually the one who's calling in sick, I'm pleased it's not been that bad that I've felt unable to drag my sorry butt into the office each day. I have discovered that Betadine gargle, once gargled and expectorated sinkwards, looks something akin to having a murder committed in one's bathroom. Thankfully, it also does the job of removing the knives from your throat. Now I just have a cough....the kind that would make a blind person think there was a seal in the room. Needless to say, I'm neither feeling nor looking particularly well today.

As fate would have it, I took last night as prime opportunity to apply for some jobs. I hadn't done so in a while and there were a handful that caught my eye. This morning, I received a phone call in response to one of my emails. The woman wanted to meet me "sooner, rather than later" and asked if this afternoon would be ok. I said yes, but logistics meant we couldn't meet at her office. However, she drives past mine to go home. So we're meeting for coffee in about half an hour. I still haven't figured out how to explain my need to leave work early, but I'll cross that bridge when I have to. I've never met someone from a recruitment agency outside of the agency before (that I can remember anyway). At least it'll get me out of doing their stupid computer tests for now. I warned her I wasn't exactly healthy today. I just need to not do my seal impression till she's decided I'm great and wants to put me forward for a job or two.

"I want that one!"

Iris

Irises he bought me.
They're purple, but my camera insists they are blue.