Interesting
The curious thing about the situation in the last post is that the pusher knew they were pushing away. The person being pushed saw themselves as being saved. It's a positive outcome for both of them, even though the motives and justifications are from completely different angles.
For a while, I was seeing that situation only from the point of view of the pusher. But when the pushed doesn't know the underlying motive of the pusher, it's easy to put a more positive spin on the situation and see it as a favour being done....saved from a negative confrontation. Kinda takes the wind out of the pusher's sails, in a way.
...And suggests that bad stuff can be good if you just look from the other direction.
For a while, I was seeing that situation only from the point of view of the pusher. But when the pushed doesn't know the underlying motive of the pusher, it's easy to put a more positive spin on the situation and see it as a favour being done....saved from a negative confrontation. Kinda takes the wind out of the pusher's sails, in a way.
...And suggests that bad stuff can be good if you just look from the other direction.
posted by E in Oz at 10:19 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 10:19 pm
10 Comments:
But if the pusher is pushing you away and you choose to see it as being saved then you are only fooling yourself. If so, you need to face reality and see them for the bastards they are.
I disagree with SJ's first statement, why not choose to see it positively? Yes, they may still be bastards but that doesn't affect you if you are happy to believe that you are being saved. There's no reason why we can't choose to be happy and see good stuff if we want to and not be considered a fool. We are making a conscious choice. Just my two cents.
And I checked the previous post and haven't a clue specifically what you are referring to. ;)
hugs,
a
Yeah, I pretty much agree with A. The person who was pushed can choose to be miserable that they were pushed, or be grateful that they're no longer in a bad situation.
Oh, and I'm not referring to any specific real-life situation. I had a dream that got me thinking.
Well I disagree with you both. Choosing to see something in a way that isn't the real circumstance is crazy, and self-sillusional. If you don't wake up and smell the coffee and see people for what they really are, you are just leaving yourself open to a whole future of hurt.
People are not nice, nor kind, nor trustworthy. People are bastards. People are out to use you and hurt you and treat you like crap as it suits them every chance they can. The sooner we all realise that, the less often we'll all be hurt.
Ah, but Jones, why should the person who was pushed not be grateful? The other person perhaps did not want them around, so they got pushed out the door. The person who was pushed sees that as an opportunity to escape a bad situation. Why not be thankful to the person who did the pushing? They did them a favour, coz who'd want to be with the pusher anyway? The future of hurt would happen if they weren't pushed, because the person who pushed obviously didn't want them to be there. Why try to stay in that circumstance?
Not everyone has insincere motives. Some people do. Do you include those of us who read 'chaos' in that last paragraph?
E
You're back to your 'consider it dodging a bullet' theory. Right, I can see that line of thinking. That would depend on the circumstance. True you can look at it later on and think 'yep, probably best that didn't work out because it wasn't right anyway' - and in this circumstance I accept the dodging a bullet theory. However if someone has deliberately treated you like crap and you make yourself believe they did it for your benefit instead of their own selfish and cowardly spite, then that is where we need to see them for the bastards they are.
It is possible to see both your & my takes on this as existing side by side. For example - my last GF and how she treated me. I see that as both dodging a bullet that we didn't end up together, AND see her as a nasty, cowardly, evil, manipulative bitch who treated me like crap to suit her own needs.
As for your question about those who read Darkness & Shadow... let's just say that there is a wall now between me and everyone else in the world, and that includes the 4 of you who read my blog. So far none of you have fucked me over. But I'm expecting all of you to at some point - just like I expect everyone else I know to fuck me over at some point. That is not a personal attack on your character, it's just how I have come to see people over the past few years.
*munching popcorn*
Ah, the old "I can protect my heart" theory in action.
*happily munching*
I'll just watch...it's something I'm not very good at--this watchin' jazz.
The popcorn's GOOD, thanks.
Hmmmm- this is a bit over my head right now. Maybe I'd better come back and read this when I'm not doped up on m&m's.
xo
I can post comments here just fine. Interesting. Now I wonder what that makes me think..?
That I couldn't post comments or view popups, because my cache at work was full, and I don't have access to delete it, so the pages wouldn't load?
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