The Serenity Prayer - holiday style
G-d grant me the serenity to accept that at this time of year,
all the weirdos will shop on a Saturday,
courage to still venture out to the shopping centre,
and the wisdom not to kill anyone while I'm there.
....And he did. I found just what I needed while I was there...
The writing at the bottom says:
For immediate relief of: chocolate cravings, lovesickness, exam pressure, mild anxiety and extreme hunger.
Directions for use: Tear open wrapper, break off desired dosage, and consume. Alternatively, massage into the affected area. Repeat dosage as required until finished. If symptoms persist, consult your local confectioner.
I also discovered there is a very good reason it's called 'emergency' chocolate. It doesn't taste the best. However, it is still chocolate and when you're in dire straights, it would do just fine. Being that when I found said Emergency Chocolate, I was indeed experiencing at least two of the symptoms, I did have to have some when I got home. The rest, though, will stay in the fridge in case of future desperation.
Ahem...edited to add that I just read some fine print on the inside wrapper:
Important note from [chocolate company]:
As you will soon discover, this is no ordinary chocolate bar. The whole experience has been created to tantalise your tastebuds, seduce your senses and satisfy your cravings.
Why do I now feel like I'm in the Wonka factory and I'm about to turn into a big, blue, human berry?
all the weirdos will shop on a Saturday,
courage to still venture out to the shopping centre,
and the wisdom not to kill anyone while I'm there.
....And he did. I found just what I needed while I was there...
The writing at the bottom says:
For immediate relief of: chocolate cravings, lovesickness, exam pressure, mild anxiety and extreme hunger.
Directions for use: Tear open wrapper, break off desired dosage, and consume. Alternatively, massage into the affected area. Repeat dosage as required until finished. If symptoms persist, consult your local confectioner.
I also discovered there is a very good reason it's called 'emergency' chocolate. It doesn't taste the best. However, it is still chocolate and when you're in dire straights, it would do just fine. Being that when I found said Emergency Chocolate, I was indeed experiencing at least two of the symptoms, I did have to have some when I got home. The rest, though, will stay in the fridge in case of future desperation.
Ahem...edited to add that I just read some fine print on the inside wrapper:
Important note from [chocolate company]:
As you will soon discover, this is no ordinary chocolate bar. The whole experience has been created to tantalise your tastebuds, seduce your senses and satisfy your cravings.
Why do I now feel like I'm in the Wonka factory and I'm about to turn into a big, blue, human berry?
posted by E in Oz at 3:52 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 3:52 pm
12 Comments:
Hmmm...just cause it says "Emergency Chocolate" does not mean it has to be quick and dirty. Go for quality next time. Forget the labels.
Oooh M, you shoulda seen the stuff that was beside it! Found it in the fancy shmancy section. If it wasn't so damn expensive, I would have bought some of the other stuff too. But then it would never last to be considered 'emergency' chocolate anyway. In fact, it wouldn't have lasted the trip to my car...LOL
Holy cow! How many boardies have you dragged over to blogger? LOL.
*cues pied piper music.....* LOL
LOL big blue human berry.
lol, that's awesome. you should keep it behind glass like a fire extinguisher to further give it the 'emergency' feel :) you know, I've noticed Aussies have some strange foods, no offence... I remember my grandpa found some Aussie Life Savers at a store here once (US), and they were 'musk' flavoured. tasted like the cakes in a urinal smell... bleh. however, one of my dearest friends is Aussie, and when I told her about the experience, she said that they were great... go figure. :)
That is absolutely hilarious! But hey, it's got to be better than urinal LifeSavers, right?
LOL I have to admit those musk flavoured life savers do stink a bit - too perfumy, but they taste great! :-p
Shit mate. What a dissapointment about the flavour not being too crash hot! Apart from the crowds at the shops what else happened to make you want to open it?
Consise, the crowds were a major factor, as was hunger, but let's face it...it was chocolate and there was no way it was going to stay unopened for too long. In fact, it took a damn lot of willpower to not open it till I could get it home to take a photo of it. :-p
I bought it at Myer, btw ($5 for 100g!!!). Have to go back and get one for the boy now. Might buy some of the other silly Christmas ones they had too and post pics of them.
Bloody hell what a ripoff! I think I have seen similar 'gimmicky' type of chocs at 'priceline' around the traps,not sure of their price though. I do like chocolate but prefer the dark varieties my self.
I think you should get yourself a St Bernard, with a bar of this strapped to its chin
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