Randomness and musings
On how to be a bad parent.
#1. Let your kid, who's under 10, stand on the back seat of your car, with his head out the window, while you spend 10 minutes driving along two major suburban roads. Bad, bad mother. I hope the police woman I rang busted your arse!
#2. Drive along with a burbon and cola in one hand, cigarette in the other, no seatbelt on, with your kiddos in the back seat. Bad, bad father! You're lucky I couldn't get your licence number.
On having no hot water.
#1. You can't do dishes or wash the floor or clean your bathroom.
#2. You can't shower. Be sure to have a friend who you can call and let them know you're not coming for a social visit....it's vital that you are allowed to go over and wash your hair or you can't go to work the next day.
#3. The guy who comes to fix the hot water tank will want to use your still filthy bathroom. He'll leave immediately afterwards, muttering only a few short words.
On being sick.
#1. Despite the airconditioning at work blowing ice cold gale forced winds on you, you'll be told there's no problem because it's only half a degree out from the temperature it's supposed to be.
#2. Having to wear a sweater and a jacket at your desk when it's 30C and boiling outside is a good indication that the aircon might be a tad cold.
#3. Waking up at 4am unable to breathe, coughing, shivering from cold, and sweating (2 sheets, a doona, and two blankets, plus track pants, t-shirt and a sweater), and having this continue for more than a week, might suggest that you're not all that well.
#4. In the doctor's office for all of two seconds before he fills out a prescription for antibiotics: "But why would I be having such huge body temperature changes?" "You're not, your temperature is what it should be." Aaah, okaaay. That explains the fevers.... And I'm gone in 6o seconds.
#5. One pharmacist asking you if you're aware that taking antibiotics can lessen the effect of the pill is one thing. When two of them make a purpose of coming up and telling you, it starts to freak you out. ....then you think, "eh, well the guy's 3,500kms away. I hear ya, but I ain't that concerned, so stop freakin me out!"
#6. Current combination, as of this afternoon: BC pill, dexamphetamine, amoxycillin, aspirin, and hayfever tablets. Now if that mix doesn't do crazy stuff to my system, I'll be impressed. I won't even care if I start to develop a twitch. If it makes me feel better than I do now, I'll be happy to have a twitch.
On things related to the boy.
#1. I arrive in Perth at 7am on the 17th. His work Christmas party is the night before. Bummer timing for him! Ha!
#2. He's already booked a trip back here 28 Dec. Tickets for 8 days in Tassie have also been booked. We think it might be an idea at some stage to find accommodation. Or just wing it...
#3. After telling him about my trip to the doctor (who I only saw because he guilted me into it), and the subsequent weirdness of the pharmacists, there ensued a bizarre conversation about me being pregnant, IVF, surrogacy, artificial insemination into cows, steak and pretending to be a teapot.
Ok, that's all for now. I have to go investigate buying shares in the Kleenex factory. Lord knows I've invested a damn lot of money into that company in the last two or three weeks.
#1. Let your kid, who's under 10, stand on the back seat of your car, with his head out the window, while you spend 10 minutes driving along two major suburban roads. Bad, bad mother. I hope the police woman I rang busted your arse!
#2. Drive along with a burbon and cola in one hand, cigarette in the other, no seatbelt on, with your kiddos in the back seat. Bad, bad father! You're lucky I couldn't get your licence number.
On having no hot water.
#1. You can't do dishes or wash the floor or clean your bathroom.
#2. You can't shower. Be sure to have a friend who you can call and let them know you're not coming for a social visit....it's vital that you are allowed to go over and wash your hair or you can't go to work the next day.
#3. The guy who comes to fix the hot water tank will want to use your still filthy bathroom. He'll leave immediately afterwards, muttering only a few short words.
On being sick.
#1. Despite the airconditioning at work blowing ice cold gale forced winds on you, you'll be told there's no problem because it's only half a degree out from the temperature it's supposed to be.
#2. Having to wear a sweater and a jacket at your desk when it's 30C and boiling outside is a good indication that the aircon might be a tad cold.
#3. Waking up at 4am unable to breathe, coughing, shivering from cold, and sweating (2 sheets, a doona, and two blankets, plus track pants, t-shirt and a sweater), and having this continue for more than a week, might suggest that you're not all that well.
#4. In the doctor's office for all of two seconds before he fills out a prescription for antibiotics: "But why would I be having such huge body temperature changes?" "You're not, your temperature is what it should be." Aaah, okaaay. That explains the fevers.... And I'm gone in 6o seconds.
#5. One pharmacist asking you if you're aware that taking antibiotics can lessen the effect of the pill is one thing. When two of them make a purpose of coming up and telling you, it starts to freak you out. ....then you think, "eh, well the guy's 3,500kms away. I hear ya, but I ain't that concerned, so stop freakin me out!"
#6. Current combination, as of this afternoon: BC pill, dexamphetamine, amoxycillin, aspirin, and hayfever tablets. Now if that mix doesn't do crazy stuff to my system, I'll be impressed. I won't even care if I start to develop a twitch. If it makes me feel better than I do now, I'll be happy to have a twitch.
On things related to the boy.
#1. I arrive in Perth at 7am on the 17th. His work Christmas party is the night before. Bummer timing for him! Ha!
#2. He's already booked a trip back here 28 Dec. Tickets for 8 days in Tassie have also been booked. We think it might be an idea at some stage to find accommodation. Or just wing it...
#3. After telling him about my trip to the doctor (who I only saw because he guilted me into it), and the subsequent weirdness of the pharmacists, there ensued a bizarre conversation about me being pregnant, IVF, surrogacy, artificial insemination into cows, steak and pretending to be a teapot.
Ok, that's all for now. I have to go investigate buying shares in the Kleenex factory. Lord knows I've invested a damn lot of money into that company in the last two or three weeks.
posted by E in Oz at 8:10 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 8:10 pm
1 Comments:
"#6. Current combination, as of this afternoon: BC pill, dexamphetamine, amoxycillin, aspirin, and hayfever tablets. "
.
Did we go to the same doctor? combo...prednisone, amoxycillin, clarinex ...no BC for me though. Let my friends know to tell me if my voice drops from the steroids. :-)
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