Just gimme my coal, ok.
I present to you, chocolate bar #2. This one, I was not silly enough to pay $5 for, but took a photo of it in the store. Now that I think about it, I should have bought a dozen of them and sent them to my family. Would have solved the 'what to get' question.
I've never been big on Christmas or any of the family get together type occasions. I can't remember any of them being particularly pleasing. Mostly, someone would upset someone else and it'd all end with mum in tears and everyone else ignoring the fact. Ah yes, Christmas joy.
T was taken aback that I was perfectly content to spend Christmas by myself. For a while there, it looked like I'd extend my stay in Perth and do Christmas with his family. That was all too much and too soon for both of us and I'm glad it won't be happening like that. It is too soon. We've barely said anything to our friends about 'us', let alone family members, although as we're getting more comfy with the situation, we're being a bit more open about things too.
He's distressed though and can't comprehend that I like spending Christmas by myself. I've had to promise to invite myself along to my brother's girlfriend's parent's place for Christmas. I met them last Christmas Eve with the stranger who I lived with. They're nice people. However, I'd rather watch bad tv all day and bum around the house with my cats, than feel all weirded out with relative (haha, get it? relative....anyway....) strangers. Still, I can see myself on their doorstep Christmas day, just so T doesn't get his knickers in a knot.
Speaking of T, as much as the distance can really sometimes bite bad, it's providing us with space and a bit of a buffer zone that we both need right now. It's not ideal, but we agree that if we were more local, perhaps things would not be the same between us. I am certainly not ready to have someone around again all the time and he certainly couldn't deal with it yet.
What the distance is doing though, is giving us the best of both worlds. We're committed to seeing where things are going to lead, but we're not ready for as much as would be required from us if we were in the same place. I like that he's there and sometimes it'd be more than nice if he was here, but the majority of my needs are being met now, and I'm happy with that.
Besides, we both have things going on in our separate lives that would make it difficult to have a 'normal' relationship right now anyway. Plus, he does a lot of travelling, so if I was there, he'd be gone a lot anyway. The distance isn't really an issue in that respect. Actually, me being in Melbourne might actually be a good thing, at least short term, because he's going to be spending more time on this side of the country in the coming months, so going to visit him will be cheaper and easier. ....and I get to go visit places I haven't been before! :-p
I'm allowing myself to relax and have fun and just enjoy things for what they are now. I'm not in a hurry to tell anyone anything either. I'd rather get to know the boy without external influence or opinion and just get comfortable with the way things are and take it from there.
Meanwhile, I considered buying Christmas decorations for my house and decided against it. I don't get so many visitors, because I'm usually the one visiting, so there's not much point me putting up stuff that only I'll see. Especially since T and I will be away for all but a few days between Christmas and New Years. My cats certainly won't care if there's crap hung around the house or not.
I'm just trying to figure out a way to spend Christmas by myself and keep everyone happy, but I doubt that's going to happen. Oh well, I'll just leave Santa a note to dump my coal at the front door, coz it looks like I'll be doing Christmas with the relative strangers.
Bah humbug to y'all! ;-)
Ok, I've come back to edit, hours later, after reading through this post again. It probably appears I'm pretty complacent and nonchalant about my relationship with T. That's not the case at all. I really like the boy. A lot. I don't want to stuff things up. That's why taking time and having space is a good thing right now. We get on so well...so much so that sometimes it's a little overwhelming, because I didn't expect that I'd be in this position - with anyone - this soon. Whatever the 'right' way is, that's how I want to do things. It's how I think I'm doing things now and I hope that I'm correct.
There, I said it. I really like him. Now I've doubly jinxed myself. Photos are my jinx, so obviously that's what he's getting for Christmas. And now I've said out loud that I have a thing for the guy. Geez, I hate making myself superstitious!
I've never been big on Christmas or any of the family get together type occasions. I can't remember any of them being particularly pleasing. Mostly, someone would upset someone else and it'd all end with mum in tears and everyone else ignoring the fact. Ah yes, Christmas joy.
T was taken aback that I was perfectly content to spend Christmas by myself. For a while there, it looked like I'd extend my stay in Perth and do Christmas with his family. That was all too much and too soon for both of us and I'm glad it won't be happening like that. It is too soon. We've barely said anything to our friends about 'us', let alone family members, although as we're getting more comfy with the situation, we're being a bit more open about things too.
He's distressed though and can't comprehend that I like spending Christmas by myself. I've had to promise to invite myself along to my brother's girlfriend's parent's place for Christmas. I met them last Christmas Eve with the stranger who I lived with. They're nice people. However, I'd rather watch bad tv all day and bum around the house with my cats, than feel all weirded out with relative (haha, get it? relative....anyway....) strangers. Still, I can see myself on their doorstep Christmas day, just so T doesn't get his knickers in a knot.
Speaking of T, as much as the distance can really sometimes bite bad, it's providing us with space and a bit of a buffer zone that we both need right now. It's not ideal, but we agree that if we were more local, perhaps things would not be the same between us. I am certainly not ready to have someone around again all the time and he certainly couldn't deal with it yet.
What the distance is doing though, is giving us the best of both worlds. We're committed to seeing where things are going to lead, but we're not ready for as much as would be required from us if we were in the same place. I like that he's there and sometimes it'd be more than nice if he was here, but the majority of my needs are being met now, and I'm happy with that.
Besides, we both have things going on in our separate lives that would make it difficult to have a 'normal' relationship right now anyway. Plus, he does a lot of travelling, so if I was there, he'd be gone a lot anyway. The distance isn't really an issue in that respect. Actually, me being in Melbourne might actually be a good thing, at least short term, because he's going to be spending more time on this side of the country in the coming months, so going to visit him will be cheaper and easier. ....and I get to go visit places I haven't been before! :-p
I'm allowing myself to relax and have fun and just enjoy things for what they are now. I'm not in a hurry to tell anyone anything either. I'd rather get to know the boy without external influence or opinion and just get comfortable with the way things are and take it from there.
Meanwhile, I considered buying Christmas decorations for my house and decided against it. I don't get so many visitors, because I'm usually the one visiting, so there's not much point me putting up stuff that only I'll see. Especially since T and I will be away for all but a few days between Christmas and New Years. My cats certainly won't care if there's crap hung around the house or not.
I'm just trying to figure out a way to spend Christmas by myself and keep everyone happy, but I doubt that's going to happen. Oh well, I'll just leave Santa a note to dump my coal at the front door, coz it looks like I'll be doing Christmas with the relative strangers.
Bah humbug to y'all! ;-)
Ok, I've come back to edit, hours later, after reading through this post again. It probably appears I'm pretty complacent and nonchalant about my relationship with T. That's not the case at all. I really like the boy. A lot. I don't want to stuff things up. That's why taking time and having space is a good thing right now. We get on so well...so much so that sometimes it's a little overwhelming, because I didn't expect that I'd be in this position - with anyone - this soon. Whatever the 'right' way is, that's how I want to do things. It's how I think I'm doing things now and I hope that I'm correct.
There, I said it. I really like him. Now I've doubly jinxed myself. Photos are my jinx, so obviously that's what he's getting for Christmas. And now I've said out loud that I have a thing for the guy. Geez, I hate making myself superstitious!
posted by E in Oz at 5:44 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 5:44 pm
5 Comments:
Hello there--Queen of the Superstitious Reporting in! I wonder if some of your hesitation to talk about the guy in gushy type terms has to do with that "jinx" mentality. It's just a theory, but I know when I first start dating someone or reaching some sort of milestone in a relationship, I've always been extremely hesitant about talking him up with the really important people (ie friends, family) just because I know that if I do then something will go horribly wrong and then I'll feel like an ass and like, yeah, here we go again. Which is certainly a load of bunk, but hey, it's the way my mind works. Also, I have no idea if this makes sense, and I'm rambling horribly, so I'll just stop now!
I have always DREADED the holidays. D.R.E.A.D.E.D them, because of having to spend time with my mother.
Now I host holidays at my house and love the family get-togethers (except for hubby's insane step-mother). I know my parents will never leave their house to come to one of my holiday gatherings so all is good now.
I am NOT decorating this year though (and I love it!) because this bachelor pad of hubby's is way too small. OK, that's the excuse I'm using. I wonder what excuse I'll use when we're in the new big house? hee hee.
perhaps its just my youth, but I still love the holidays very much. sure, they're a letdown after they're over, but while they're happening, it's an epic experience. I love getting together with the fam and all, especially hanging out with my grandparents, and I dunno... it's always wonderful for me. lol. I'm sure I'll get jaded eventually ;)
What kind of photo will you give him ?
Consise, he took a bunch of photos when we went away to Halls Gap, so I've edited a couple of the ones of us, and got those printed, as well as a really nice one of a waterfall he took. :-)
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