Keepin' on the level...well trying to

I have to say I was/am relieved to see that my latest crazy idea (see: agree to have strange guy from the other side of the country come to stay for 4 days) was well received. It appears I'm known for this type of insanity. Nobody's been surprised so far.

I can't say though, that things are at the same level they were when I first posted about it. Not for him anyway. Between series of nerves and fear (resulting in some dumb negative behaviour), he's kicked it up a gear or two over the last few days. Future talk is now on the table and open for discussion.

Honestly, I'm not sure what to think. I like the idea of it. But I also like where we're at now. It suits me. There's the possibility of maybe something happening sometime, but for me, that won't be decided till we meet in a couple of weeks.

It's hard to be encouraging and make positive anticipatory statements, yet keep the brakes on at the same time, especially when it's very easy to get caught up in the moment. There have been a few conversations that probably shouldn't have been had. There's a fine line between agreement and encouragement and I'm trying not to cross it. I think I have, if I'm to be honest with myself, and it bothers me slightly.

I've requested baby steps and keeping the status quo till we meet, with the presumption that things will go well and possibly progress. In my mind at least, that's a reasonable compromise.

I like the interaction, I'd like it to continue, but I've propped myself back up on that fence for the time being, and I'll know which way to jump in two weeks.

And I'm going to be eating steamed rice or 2 minute noodles for the next month. My cell phone bill is getting ridiculous!