Wrapping up

It's the end of the week and the start of a weekend with el kiddo. I'm looking forward to it. We have nothing at all planned, but having A around will be nice. It's good to be around a 7yo sometimes...helps to keep the rest of life in perspective when you experience it from his point of view.

The week's been good overall. C's still plodding through the 5 Love Languages book. He reads a lot slower than me, so it's taking him a while. I'm just really glad he's continuing to pick it up and get through it of his own accord. I've had Relationship Rescue sitting on my bedside table for a while and he only noticed it yesterday. I told him I won't subject him to reading it yet, but he seemed interested in it, which surprised me. He's really trying hard to make up for the things he's said and done lately. I need more from him and he knows this and he's working on it.

I'm a little annoyed at myself. Our local paper was sitting on the bench and we always go through it and check out houses in our neighbourhood. I looked at one and said, "hey I think they advertised that cheaper on the net". Ooops. He asked if I'd been looking at buying houses. I just said I know what I can afford and that I can get something with no money of my own as a deposit. He asked if I was uncomfortable in the house now. I said no. And I'm not. But we honestly have too much furniture between us for the size of house we have now and I'd like a) a little more space and b) a place of my own. Whether I get those two things separately or together, I'm not worried about at this moment. We're ok and neither of us is fussed on moving anywhere right now. (However, his house always has been and always will be 'his house' to me. I'ts not mine. I've not made any investments in it, so I have no claim to any part of it. I don't work that way. If I got a house and we lived in that, it'd be my house, but the dynamics of things would change slightly because his would turn into a rental, and therefore an investment and we'd probably have a more formal relationship type by then anyway.)

The good thing is that that discussion got us into a more detailed discussion about buying, selling and investing, and it's an area that I've got more knowledge in than him. Yeah, the last time I had anything to do with buying property was when I was a teenager (everything was put in my bf's name and I just walked away from it all) and he's bought more properties over time than me, but I've done a bunch of study and have lots of books and have done courses (thanks to my ex), so I deflected the, "do you want to buy your own house?" question by getting into a discussion on the pros and cons of negative vs positive gearing and telling him to go read my books.

It's good to be talking about things in a future tense again. I'm still bothered by some things, but I'm working out whether they're things I have to sort out within me, or if they're to do with him, or if they're 'us' issues. Once I can do that, we can have another chat.

He's been sweet, caring and attentive all week. It's been nice and I've been looking forward to going home to see him each afternoon. That's a big improvement on how things have been lately. Still, I'm taking it day to day, but it looks like we might be past the worst of the crap and that's a good feeling.