Ok, where was I?

Yes, my house guest is still here. Yesterday, I got, "I only have 5 days left when I can stay with you, don't I?" "Yes. You're welcome to watch tv with me in the evenings, when I move, but then you're going home."

He's moving out of his cousin's place and moving into the gym (an old renovated house on the school grounds), due to precariously low finances. He's simply wanting to save money. I have many issues with this. The first is that during their entire time together K looked after all their finances. He knows pretty much nothing about their finances other than the very detailed (complicated, but well maintained, from what I've seen) spreadsheets she's given him to help him learn what he needs to know. Do not get me started on how dumb that previous arrangement was! I think my absolutely dumbfounded expression told him how stupid I thought that was. Thankfully, they've now split personal finances and he's learning what he needs to know.

The second issue I have is that he can't tell anyone where he's staying. The third is that the damn building is freezing at night. Not just cold. Freezing. I've given him a small personal heater to borrow, but seriously, it'll be like camping, except indoors with a bathroom, fridge and microwave.

My new place is literally around the corner from the gym. A three minute drive. (coincidence, not planned, by the way) It's not healthy for either of us to have him continue to stay with me (more on that later). We both know that. He could have continued living with his cousin, but that's not much better. Yes, I realise his issues are not mine, but I wouldn't like any friend living the way he's required to for now. I suppose that's the price you pay for jumping in to running a second franchise that's just starting up without a financial foundation to fall back on while the business is growing....six months after you've started the first. Aaaanyway...

I've spent the last few weeks feeling like I've been looking in on my life. I've learned when to give advice diplomatically and when to shut up. G is learning how to become a better person and make better decisions. That was his choice before he met me. As a result, I speak, he listens. In fact, sometimes he listens too well, so I have to be really careful about what I say and how I phrase it. It's a weight on my shoulders at times, particularly when I see him indecisive and frustrated about what I consider minor things. But....not my problems.

Last night...
G: I don't like that you're feeling the way you are.
E: How am I feeling?
G: You're angry.
E: And why is that?
G: You said anger is a symptom of fear, frustration or hurt. I'd say it's two of those.
E: Frustration.
G: See? I pay attention to what you say.
E: Yes, and this is why I'm not talking much tonight. You need to figure stuff out for yourself.

I couldn't shut my mouth this morning. He asked me what I was thinking while I was at the gym. I said he didn't want to know. He asked again. I told him that I was happy for K that she finally got the backbone to pack up his stuff while he was in NZ and be done with him. I said she earned some respect from me for that. Since then, she's backed down, invited him around for dinner and other social stuff, and last night he had to drop something off at her place and she invited him to stay. I told him my esteem for her had fallen because of that. He replied that she still loves him. My response was that she shouldn't, after all he's put her through. He said that comment was harsh, but true. Eh, it's a soap opera, for sure.

So, I've set new boundaries for me. He gets to stay here till I move, then he's on his own. He knows he has to learn to be self sufficient. I'm backing off and forcing him to do that, at least to a degree. He cares about me in a way that's still very overwhelming to me. I care enough about him to let him sink or swim on his own. If he wants to do the work on himself over the next while, that's good. If he determines he wants to be with me (and I still feel the same) we'll cross that bridge when we get there. If not, that's cool, too. I'll be happy if he just sorts out who he is and what he wants and is happy with the result.

In other news, I did a full day horse ride last Saturday. It was cold and muddy, but didn't rain, thankfully. We stopped for lunch at a country pub and tethered the horses in the bushes at the back, just like cowboys...er, cowgirls. It was very cool! I must say, after being on a horse from 10am to 6pm, my body ached. Ached! Only soft seats for me for the first couple of days. Now, on Wednesday, doing stretches at the gym is still painful and the bruises are going, but it was worth it!

Daniel, my new full time offsider (yay!) started yesterday. I had him doing stuff by himself by the afternoon and today he's literally on his own while I take a day off - for sanity, but also coz I had a scheduled hospital check up. I'm looking forward to him being there. He seems like a good guy who'll pick up things quickly...and hopefully I'll be able to have some decent time off for a break soon.

Stay tuned...