My stay in hop-spital
When you were a kid, did you mix up long words? I don't think I ever did, but my niece used to say 'hopspital' instead of 'hospital' and 'ambliance' instead of 'ambulance'.
So I got to hopspital right on 6.30pm on Monday night. C came in with me while I got measured (height) and weighed (ugh!). They showed us to my room and I got comfy, before they subjected me to awful breathing tests...."breathe normally....ok, now take a deep breath in...hooooold it....now blow it out....keep blowing....keep blowing..." ...till I almost turned blue and passed out. Did that twice. Dizzzzzyyy...
And off I trundled back to the room. The reception on the tv was shit, just like they said, so the boy, not being able to help himself, mucked around with the video settings to make it a little better, but it remained a pretty fuzzy picture.
He made us both some tea and I subjected him to watching Kate and Leopold with me. It was either that, or Stepmom. Ha, he didn't think that was as amusing as I did.
At about 7.30pm, one of the girls came in to start hooking me up to all the wires. (I'll post pics when I get home.) It really isn't much fun to have someone wipe antiseptic on your head, rub your head with fine sandpaper (or something that felt like it), make big red pen marks in various places, jam a glob of glue into your scalp and strap electrodes to you (head, chest and legs). The guys at work say I looked like someone who belonged in a psych ward.
C left just before 8pm and I whined, even though I knew he couldn't stay. He did send me a text message later on, so I was happy enough. (Yes, Ian, I had my phone and kept it turned on...and I probably could have taken my laptop too! Doh!)
At about 10.30pm the chick came back in and strapped another electrode thingy to my face, that looked a lot like a thin, green moustache, with sensors under my nose, and big pieces of tape on either side to hold it in place. All the wires went back to a central little box that I had to wear over my shoulder. I also had a pulse monitor on my finger all night. And that's how I slept. With a camera on me the whole time. Getting up to pee in the middle of the night was an event in itself.
At 6am, I was just getting into a good sleep, when they came in, turned the light on and made me get up. Aarrrrgh! After being unplugged and unwired (and spending about 10 minutes trying to get gunk out of my hair so I didn't look like a mad scientist), I had a shower and breakfast. Just after 7am, they put more gunk in my hair, wired me up again and sent me back to sleep. They did that 4 times throughout the day, putting me to sleep for 20 minutes or so, waking me up, etc, till mid afternoon. At least I got to watch most of Dr Phil and the Runaway Bride on video. Yep, they had a fine selection of stuff there!
Some time in the morning, the doctor came in and asked what I'd like for lunch and told me he'd go and get it. Considering the psych ward was in the same building and I looked like one of them, it was a good idea that I didn't go out in public looking like I did.
I had to have a bath last night so that my hair soaked long enough that all the crap came out of it, then had to wash it again this morning....as well as to get the blood out from where the cat gouged me.
All things considered, I slept far better on Monday night with all those damn contraptions on me than I did last night in the comfort of my own bed, at home.
I hope, I hope, I hope it was all worth it. I have to wait a couple of weeks to get the results and see if they'll put me back on the drugs and let me have a semi-normal life again.
So I got to hopspital right on 6.30pm on Monday night. C came in with me while I got measured (height) and weighed (ugh!). They showed us to my room and I got comfy, before they subjected me to awful breathing tests...."breathe normally....ok, now take a deep breath in...hooooold it....now blow it out....keep blowing....keep blowing..." ...till I almost turned blue and passed out. Did that twice. Dizzzzzyyy...
And off I trundled back to the room. The reception on the tv was shit, just like they said, so the boy, not being able to help himself, mucked around with the video settings to make it a little better, but it remained a pretty fuzzy picture.
He made us both some tea and I subjected him to watching Kate and Leopold with me. It was either that, or Stepmom. Ha, he didn't think that was as amusing as I did.
At about 7.30pm, one of the girls came in to start hooking me up to all the wires. (I'll post pics when I get home.) It really isn't much fun to have someone wipe antiseptic on your head, rub your head with fine sandpaper (or something that felt like it), make big red pen marks in various places, jam a glob of glue into your scalp and strap electrodes to you (head, chest and legs). The guys at work say I looked like someone who belonged in a psych ward.
C left just before 8pm and I whined, even though I knew he couldn't stay. He did send me a text message later on, so I was happy enough. (Yes, Ian, I had my phone and kept it turned on...and I probably could have taken my laptop too! Doh!)
At about 10.30pm the chick came back in and strapped another electrode thingy to my face, that looked a lot like a thin, green moustache, with sensors under my nose, and big pieces of tape on either side to hold it in place. All the wires went back to a central little box that I had to wear over my shoulder. I also had a pulse monitor on my finger all night. And that's how I slept. With a camera on me the whole time. Getting up to pee in the middle of the night was an event in itself.
At 6am, I was just getting into a good sleep, when they came in, turned the light on and made me get up. Aarrrrgh! After being unplugged and unwired (and spending about 10 minutes trying to get gunk out of my hair so I didn't look like a mad scientist), I had a shower and breakfast. Just after 7am, they put more gunk in my hair, wired me up again and sent me back to sleep. They did that 4 times throughout the day, putting me to sleep for 20 minutes or so, waking me up, etc, till mid afternoon. At least I got to watch most of Dr Phil and the Runaway Bride on video. Yep, they had a fine selection of stuff there!
Some time in the morning, the doctor came in and asked what I'd like for lunch and told me he'd go and get it. Considering the psych ward was in the same building and I looked like one of them, it was a good idea that I didn't go out in public looking like I did.
I had to have a bath last night so that my hair soaked long enough that all the crap came out of it, then had to wash it again this morning....as well as to get the blood out from where the cat gouged me.
All things considered, I slept far better on Monday night with all those damn contraptions on me than I did last night in the comfort of my own bed, at home.
I hope, I hope, I hope it was all worth it. I have to wait a couple of weeks to get the results and see if they'll put me back on the drugs and let me have a semi-normal life again.
posted by E in Oz at 3:40 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 3:40 pm
4 Comments:
Those pictures are SO FUNNY! I'm glad you documented it.
I sure hope that it's worth it too and they get you in tip top shape.
i hope they find something that helps you sleep. drugs would be good.
you look so pretty, even with all that stuff stuck to ya!
xox
We Are The Borg. Resistence Is Futile.
Rae - yeah, and 'bisgetti' for spaghetti.
RG - knew you'd like them...although I left the really unbecoming ones OFF the computer.
G - wasn't looking so pretty at 6am, I can tell ya! LOL
Ian - LMAO. You shoulda seen me with the added green moustache thingy up my nose. Looked like I was half way through an experiment by alien abductors.
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