The many faces of Ed
Last night was enlightening in a lot of ways. We had decided that we were going to drink a lot (something I do pretty rarely), but hadn't chosen if we'd go out or stay in. So when he turned up, I was looking like a bum. Figured there was no point dressing up if we weren't going anywhere.
We had a brainwave between us that if we just went to the supermarket, we could get something simple and healthy for dinner, buy our alcohol there and just come back here and talk or watch tv, it would be cheaper than going out. Yeah, we're rocket scientists!
Talk about difficult decisions! You know when you look at something and there's so much selection, but there's nothing that you want? We truly wanted to buy some healthy food because we've both eaten so badly this week. But we also wanted something that was quick and easy and didn't involve washing up a million pots, pans and plates afterwards. That, my friends, is virtually impossible. Healthy and quick don't fit in a sentence together!
We ended up buying mixed Chinese yum cha for some quick finger food, because we were starving by the time we worked out what we wanted to do, then I made some chicken pieces with a honey soy sauce and sesame seed coating (see: adult version of chicken nuggets).
Then there was the alcohol. He bought a bottle of chardonnay for himself, since I can't drink wine. I bought a one litre bottle of Baileys. The chardy was gone within an hour and the Baileys didn't last much longer. Yes, you heard right. We managed to drink almost two litres of alcohol before we'd seen Lethal Weapon 3 in its entirity! Strangely, neither of us appeared all that affected, except for the whole loss of balance thing.
He offered to talk!...on the condition that talking was done in bed, lights off, in case he was embarrassed. Deal. So off we went. Enter stage right, vulnerable Ed. I'd never seen this Ed before, but had figured that he was lurking backstage somewhere, waiting for his cue. I'm not sure what I thought the dynamics were between us before, but I felt a shift in power (for want of a better word) to me. It was as if I had the power to make or break his emotions. This worries me slightly because I know I can have the inclination to take advantage in situations like that.
Anything I've specifically asked him to do, he's done. And I've only ever had to ask once on each 'issue'.
He said he likes me and that he enjoys spending time with me and doesn't want that to change. I told him I feel the same way. He mentioned meeting his friends and family, then said "six months" in the same sentence. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but at least now I have a better idea of where his timeframes are at. But six months? I'll have to think about that.
He's very old fashioned in a lot of respects and openly admits to being that way. Opens doors, walks on the outside of the footpath, often takes on the protector role and is always asking how I am and if I'm ok.
This carries across to the bedroom too. Very attentive, but very shy. Things that I think are normal, he gets embarrassed about. On this note, I feel like this is the one area in which I could really scare him off. He asks questions, wants to know things, but.... I don't know what the 'but' is. Maybe it just boils down to him being treated so badly before and not being willing to put himself out there in any respect in case he gets hurt or made to feel bad in some way.
We woke up this morning and he was his usual self, full of non commital "don't know" and "we'll see" answers, but that's ok. I think I'm even more ok with the fact that he's withholding certain things from me. I'm starting to understand why. I don't necessarily like it, but I'm understanding it better and that's a start.
He's moving this weekend. In with his brother. Moving another half hour away from me than he already is. That means almost 90 minutes. Long distance, yet again! I guess this'll really test things.
Someone upstairs really is having fun making every guy I meet long distance.
We'll see. ;-)
We had a brainwave between us that if we just went to the supermarket, we could get something simple and healthy for dinner, buy our alcohol there and just come back here and talk or watch tv, it would be cheaper than going out. Yeah, we're rocket scientists!
Talk about difficult decisions! You know when you look at something and there's so much selection, but there's nothing that you want? We truly wanted to buy some healthy food because we've both eaten so badly this week. But we also wanted something that was quick and easy and didn't involve washing up a million pots, pans and plates afterwards. That, my friends, is virtually impossible. Healthy and quick don't fit in a sentence together!
We ended up buying mixed Chinese yum cha for some quick finger food, because we were starving by the time we worked out what we wanted to do, then I made some chicken pieces with a honey soy sauce and sesame seed coating (see: adult version of chicken nuggets).
Then there was the alcohol. He bought a bottle of chardonnay for himself, since I can't drink wine. I bought a one litre bottle of Baileys. The chardy was gone within an hour and the Baileys didn't last much longer. Yes, you heard right. We managed to drink almost two litres of alcohol before we'd seen Lethal Weapon 3 in its entirity! Strangely, neither of us appeared all that affected, except for the whole loss of balance thing.
He offered to talk!...on the condition that talking was done in bed, lights off, in case he was embarrassed. Deal. So off we went. Enter stage right, vulnerable Ed. I'd never seen this Ed before, but had figured that he was lurking backstage somewhere, waiting for his cue. I'm not sure what I thought the dynamics were between us before, but I felt a shift in power (for want of a better word) to me. It was as if I had the power to make or break his emotions. This worries me slightly because I know I can have the inclination to take advantage in situations like that.
Anything I've specifically asked him to do, he's done. And I've only ever had to ask once on each 'issue'.
He said he likes me and that he enjoys spending time with me and doesn't want that to change. I told him I feel the same way. He mentioned meeting his friends and family, then said "six months" in the same sentence. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but at least now I have a better idea of where his timeframes are at. But six months? I'll have to think about that.
He's very old fashioned in a lot of respects and openly admits to being that way. Opens doors, walks on the outside of the footpath, often takes on the protector role and is always asking how I am and if I'm ok.
This carries across to the bedroom too. Very attentive, but very shy. Things that I think are normal, he gets embarrassed about. On this note, I feel like this is the one area in which I could really scare him off. He asks questions, wants to know things, but.... I don't know what the 'but' is. Maybe it just boils down to him being treated so badly before and not being willing to put himself out there in any respect in case he gets hurt or made to feel bad in some way.
We woke up this morning and he was his usual self, full of non commital "don't know" and "we'll see" answers, but that's ok. I think I'm even more ok with the fact that he's withholding certain things from me. I'm starting to understand why. I don't necessarily like it, but I'm understanding it better and that's a start.
He's moving this weekend. In with his brother. Moving another half hour away from me than he already is. That means almost 90 minutes. Long distance, yet again! I guess this'll really test things.
Someone upstairs really is having fun making every guy I meet long distance.
We'll see. ;-)
posted by E in Oz at 1:23 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 1:23 pm
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