Frustration
This year seems to be the year of roadblocks and, quite frankly, I wouldn't mind having an army tank to drive straight through them. I've had enough. I'm tired of other people changing the rules half way through the game. I'm tired of people assuming I'll be ok with that, knowing I have no choice but to accept the change.
It's funny how as soon as you think you've found the direction you want to take, every kind of setback and hindrance presents themselves and you wonder when it's ever going to end and how you're ever going to get where you want to be.
It's so damn hard to keep going when you feel like you're making no headway. I'm tired for a lot of reasons. I know I'll eventually be doing exactly what I want to be doing, but I really would like to have someone to sit with me in the evenings and tell me to keep going, because some days I wonder if I can do it by myself.
It's funny how as soon as you think you've found the direction you want to take, every kind of setback and hindrance presents themselves and you wonder when it's ever going to end and how you're ever going to get where you want to be.
It's so damn hard to keep going when you feel like you're making no headway. I'm tired for a lot of reasons. I know I'll eventually be doing exactly what I want to be doing, but I really would like to have someone to sit with me in the evenings and tell me to keep going, because some days I wonder if I can do it by myself.
posted by E in Oz at 7:49 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 7:49 pm
6 Comments:
I can tell you to keep going, and I can tell you you will eventually be doing something you love and are good at - all of which is true. But being honest, I will also tell you that it is unlikely you will ever be able to survive financially doing only this job alone; you will always need another job to pay base expenses, because this line of work is just too unstable. I am pretty much down to the last of my savings now: I have been making a loss every week now since April. So - it's fun, and it's enjoyable, but it's not something we're ever going to make money with.
I will. One day. I know how many clients I need and how many hours I need to work to make the money I want to make. I won't be doing it working for somebody else, that's for sure.
It's not going to happen in a hurry and I'm content to be doing other stuff at the same time, but I'm considering it the planning/laying the foundation stage.
Dunno that it'll make sense---but I have that someone who tells me to keep going. And you know what-it doesn't make or break me. It's still me--deciding, choosing, opting to do or do not do.
I love himself dearly, but he doesn't make or break it for me. His voice is nice to have, but not required.
k.....that only makes sense to me and makes it sound like his presence isn't pertinent.....
*sigh*
You can and will end up where you're suppose to be.
Heck, you're already there.
Well, I hope you do. Just remember I know everything you do, but if people won't pay, people won't pay. Anyway, who know, you might be lucky.
I agree with Mel, even with someone telling you it's going to be alright or helping clarify what you need, in the end it is still you that makes the decision and walks the mile. I think it can get exhausting getting there and having someone there to share the burden does it make it easier so I understand that!
As far as making it work, this career path you've chosen - if you can make it work for you, great! The best thing is that you have experience in something else if you need temp work, if the ebb and flow of this position ebbs more than it flows occasionally. I guarantee if you go out on your own and charge a bit less than most, you might even be able to keep it up. I know $65/hour an hour here is a bit much for the average person to include in their income but if it was $35, I might consider it! :)
Good luck! You will get there!
anne
*hugs*
Hope this coming week goes smoother.
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