Rain

I haven't really gone into detail on here about all the crap that's gone down at work in the last few months, but I probably should have, because it would be good to have all the history in one place.

Tomorrow, if things go the way I assume they will, my offsider will be sacked. I did not ask for this. I did not want this. I think it's a bad idea. I am not supposed to know it's happening. My absent boss, who's rarely in the office has decided D must go. Why? The party line is that he's had a lot of time off in the three months he's been there. True, but most of his reasons were valid (and he got hammered by me for the ones that weren't). His grandfather got rushed to hospital twice and his family asked for him to go. Fair enough. He had national netball championships to attend. Yeah, it's a girly sport for a boy to do, but whatever. Neither of those things are ongoing and therefore will not be a future issue. Doesn't matter. Our boss has it in his head that he's gone.

He's even gone so far as (from what I can tell, from third hand information) promising the job to another girl - the one I think he wanted to hire in the first place - who works at a site office, but can't start until sometime in late November. I'm not supposed to even know this, so I don't know the girl's name, I don't know what her qualifications are, I don't know what she's been told.
My team leader asked my boss if he was going to discuss any of this with me. He said no. Apparently, it's perfectly acceptable to sack the person who's responsible for half my workload, and replace them with someone else and not let me know. Oh yeah, and it doesn't matter that it's been pointed out that this would be the 4th person in that role in 8 months. Someone unrelated to my job, but who works in my department took this issue a level above my boss and said the way it's been handled is unprofessional and wrong. It was noted, but he was told the decision would not change.

In addition to that, I have another issue to contend with. One of the Bobs from Office Space. The guy moved down here from interstate, because his wife got a job promotion. He's been working as a project manager for our company for 13 years, or something. They didn't have a project for him to work on here, so I've become the project. I'm not sure exactly what his role is, except to really piss me off and bug me when I'm busy. Our department were told he was here to help all of us. Under some subtle grilling, he told me he is here to work with me.

After I had the do or die meeting with my stupid boss and the HR chick, I thought they got it that the problem we've been experiencing in the last 10 months has been the crazy increase in workload, not me. (Why give me a support person if the workload is acceptable for one person?) It would seem that meeting was pointless and I'm still as incompetent as they thought I was back then. I'm trying to take a step back and see that the guy is here to help us set up better processes (that are bigger and more involved than I could ever achieve by myself - it would take cooperation from a number of senior people in different departments)...but I still feel the motive is just the same. Sort me out.

So...I don't know what to do about tomorrow. I cannot tell D what is going on (because I don't know exactly what they've decided), but I am going to send him a message tonight telling him to be at work early and to dress half decent. If this all goes down and they do tell him to leave, I expect I'll be handing my 30 days notice in by the end of the week. I'm tired of this crap and disrespect. It will put serious pressure on me to find another job in a hurry, but I'll cross that bridge when the need arises.

Meanwhile, my niece called me in tears while I was at work on Friday. Her situation is getting progressively worse and she needs money. For the first time, I was unable to give her anything. That set me off crying as well, so I packed up my stuff and just left the office and came home. One of the guys I work with sent me a text yesterday morning to see how I was, because he'd seen how distressed I had been. I appreciated that gesture a lot. But it doesn't solve the problem and I'm going to have to do a major overhaul of my belongings and 3b@y whatever I can to get her some money. I don't know what else to do.

I went riding yesterday with the girls in my social group. I had a really crappy time. I hadn't ridden the horse they gave me before and I couldn't get the stirrups right. I felt like I was going to fall off each time he cantered and I was just stressed out. I was thinking too hard about work and my niece and was just miserable. I stayed at the back of the group and just walked the horse or kept in a slow trot. One of the guys who takes the rides could see I was stressed and asked what was wrong. I've met the guy once before. Next thing I knew, I was riding along the track just crying. A lot embarrassing. The horse was bugging me. I felt like I couldn't ride at all and had no confidence, so they swapped me onto another horse. I didn't do much better than her. Each time she broke from a trot to a canter, I lost my footing and felt like I was going to fall. Truly, it just sucked. The day was overcast, but not too cold at that stage. The rest of the group were a fair distance ahead when it started raining. I've never ridden in the rain before. It was cold, and the rain on our faces was uncomfortable (for me, the guy who was riding with me and the horses), but I didn't care. In a way, I liked it. The guy said he hoped it washed away my tears. That almost made me cry again.

The day did improve, though. One of the girls rented a B&B for a bunch of us to stay the night, for her birthday. I decided the day before to come home instead, but I stayed to go to dinner with everyone. It was a really nice night. I drove home (90 minutes) following a couple who'd been there just for dinner. I needed the company, even if they were in another vehicle.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow.

The view from the back of the restaurant.