Integration, or lack thereof
Hmmmm..... I've been pondering this for a while now.
The anti-me has now said, unprompted and out of the blue, on three separate occasions that it's unfortunate that I live so far from him (an hour drive). I don't know how to take it, except to take it exactly as he said it. Honesty is one of his appealing qualities, even if sometimes he gives me more information than I need.
It's like dealing with two people. There's the party guy who ends up in situations that lead to his brother handing over his underwear to a bridesmaid on a hen's night, who gets wired and dances till the sun comes up, tells me when he's been propositioned by girls, and who has a calendar of naked women just outside his lounge room. "Did you see your competition for this month?" "That's not competition. That's editing. I don't even compete with real people."
The other side is the guy who gets concerned when I'm not feeling well, who asks me to go grocery shopping with him then pays for the things I find for myself, who bought a toothbrush for me in case I might need one, won't let me buy dinner, because I've driven all the way to his place, and who curls up with his head on my knee while we watch tv.
It's confusing and I don't know whether I'm comfortable or uncomfortable.
He's looking at buying a home theatre system (projector etc) and he's started calling me to ask advice, get opinions etc. He's 'involving' me more. "If you can get here early enough, we can go to [the store] and you can see what I'm thinking of getting."
Basically, he's keeping in touch more. I told him on Sunday that it's like dealing with two different people.
Still, the only physical integration between our separate worlds so far has been go-karting and he's opted out of doing anything with the people from my social group again. I can understand why, from his perspective.
He still doesn't know my last name, or my home phone number. As of today, he has my work number, because of the whole home theatre thing I was helping him with.
He's stopped smoking, he's settled, for the most part, into one regular club where everyone's clothed (except, apparently, his brother) albeit completely smashed off their faces, and he has no more internet.
Seriously. He is two people, I'm sure.
It's weird. It's convenient. I like it. I don't know why.
Ha, well yes I do, but it's 11.34pm and I'm too tired to explain why right now.
The anti-me has now said, unprompted and out of the blue, on three separate occasions that it's unfortunate that I live so far from him (an hour drive). I don't know how to take it, except to take it exactly as he said it. Honesty is one of his appealing qualities, even if sometimes he gives me more information than I need.
It's like dealing with two people. There's the party guy who ends up in situations that lead to his brother handing over his underwear to a bridesmaid on a hen's night, who gets wired and dances till the sun comes up, tells me when he's been propositioned by girls, and who has a calendar of naked women just outside his lounge room. "Did you see your competition for this month?" "That's not competition. That's editing. I don't even compete with real people."
The other side is the guy who gets concerned when I'm not feeling well, who asks me to go grocery shopping with him then pays for the things I find for myself, who bought a toothbrush for me in case I might need one, won't let me buy dinner, because I've driven all the way to his place, and who curls up with his head on my knee while we watch tv.
It's confusing and I don't know whether I'm comfortable or uncomfortable.
He's looking at buying a home theatre system (projector etc) and he's started calling me to ask advice, get opinions etc. He's 'involving' me more. "If you can get here early enough, we can go to [the store] and you can see what I'm thinking of getting."
Basically, he's keeping in touch more. I told him on Sunday that it's like dealing with two different people.
Still, the only physical integration between our separate worlds so far has been go-karting and he's opted out of doing anything with the people from my social group again. I can understand why, from his perspective.
He still doesn't know my last name, or my home phone number. As of today, he has my work number, because of the whole home theatre thing I was helping him with.
He's stopped smoking, he's settled, for the most part, into one regular club where everyone's clothed (except, apparently, his brother) albeit completely smashed off their faces, and he has no more internet.
Seriously. He is two people, I'm sure.
It's weird. It's convenient. I like it. I don't know why.
Ha, well yes I do, but it's 11.34pm and I'm too tired to explain why right now.
posted by E in Oz at 11:10 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 11:10 pm
3 Comments:
(I sometimes love smileys...)
:-/
Hm. I dunno. It sounds to me like you are displaying your discomfort in spades in your blog entry ... maybe it answers your own question about whether or not you're comfortable?
I keep trying to comment, but my laptop keeps overheating and crashing on me.
You've probably left quite a bit out, but it sounds to me like this is a for fun, in the moment, nice to know you're agreeable type of thing. At some point though, the dynamic will change and this "balance" will get thrown off but for now, who cares?
Personally, I'm enjoying the low key, no pressure thing.
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