Ignition sequence start
Why I like flying with a certain airline. Said by Scott, the cabin supervisor:
"I'm offering free hugs to anyone who wants one. If you're feeling a bit grumpy this morning, I'm here to hug you."
To the flight staff:
"Cabin crew, please arm doors and cross dress".
When running through the emergency procedures:
"Please stow all hand and emotional baggage in the overhead lockers, or well under the seat in front of you."
"Remember, like a stalker, your nearest exit may be behind you".
"If you don't know how to turn off your mobile phone, please pass it to the child nearest you and have them do it for you".
"Gas masks will drop from the ceiling. Stop screaming and place the mask over your face before assisting others".
"Please fasten your seatbelts and keep your seat in an upright position, as we prepare for blastoff".
Once we were in the air, he continued with the standard announcements in a strong Indian accent.
"Welcome aboard (airline). We have no tandoori chicken or tikka marsala on this flight, but we have other food and beverages...... As you know, there are not many shops in the air, so we have things for you to buy onboard. Why not spend more money than you already have?..."
The captain spoke next:
"Apologies for the delay in departure, do to the fog. I know you want to get to (destination) on time, so I've put an extra 220kgs of fuel on board. That way, I can fly you faster and get you there on time. As you know, the price of gas is extremely high these days, but I added the extra fuel just for you..."
Before landing, the crew had us doing 'airline aerobics', where everyone had to raise their arms and move their legs, and do a mexican wave up and down the entire aircraft with the safety cards in hand.
Lots more to mention, but those were the highlights.
Previously, the only time I've ever been on a flight where everyone clapped once we arrived safely, was when everyone had thought we were going to crash. After cabin supervisor Scott did his final speeches, the whole plane broke out into spontaneous clapping. Twas certainly one of the more enjoyable flights I've ever been on.
Oh, everyone behaved at the funeral and there were even some funny things I have to share. I'll post that separately soon.
"I'm offering free hugs to anyone who wants one. If you're feeling a bit grumpy this morning, I'm here to hug you."
To the flight staff:
"Cabin crew, please arm doors and cross dress".
When running through the emergency procedures:
"Please stow all hand and emotional baggage in the overhead lockers, or well under the seat in front of you."
"Remember, like a stalker, your nearest exit may be behind you".
"If you don't know how to turn off your mobile phone, please pass it to the child nearest you and have them do it for you".
"Gas masks will drop from the ceiling. Stop screaming and place the mask over your face before assisting others".
"Please fasten your seatbelts and keep your seat in an upright position, as we prepare for blastoff".
Once we were in the air, he continued with the standard announcements in a strong Indian accent.
"Welcome aboard (airline). We have no tandoori chicken or tikka marsala on this flight, but we have other food and beverages...... As you know, there are not many shops in the air, so we have things for you to buy onboard. Why not spend more money than you already have?..."
The captain spoke next:
"Apologies for the delay in departure, do to the fog. I know you want to get to (destination) on time, so I've put an extra 220kgs of fuel on board. That way, I can fly you faster and get you there on time. As you know, the price of gas is extremely high these days, but I added the extra fuel just for you..."
Before landing, the crew had us doing 'airline aerobics', where everyone had to raise their arms and move their legs, and do a mexican wave up and down the entire aircraft with the safety cards in hand.
Lots more to mention, but those were the highlights.
Previously, the only time I've ever been on a flight where everyone clapped once we arrived safely, was when everyone had thought we were going to crash. After cabin supervisor Scott did his final speeches, the whole plane broke out into spontaneous clapping. Twas certainly one of the more enjoyable flights I've ever been on.
Oh, everyone behaved at the funeral and there were even some funny things I have to share. I'll post that separately soon.
posted by E in Oz at 2:53 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 2:53 pm
7 Comments:
I'd still give it all up for a bag of nuts :)
Is the emotinal baggage limited to two carry-ons also?
I love the emotional baggage one. There's an airline here as well that often has fun with it's announcements. They used to do some of the things you mentioned, games played during airtime, that sort of thing. They've gotten a little more serious lately but every once in awhile you get a joker on the mike. You know how people don't really pay attention with the announcements because they've heard them all before... and then you hear something funny and you're the only one laughing because no one was really listening? Yep, I'm the laugher.
"In case of a loss of cabin pressure, a mask will fall... please assist yourself first and then assist your child (or someone just acting like a child)" or "please assist yourself and then pick your favorite child and help them first" lol
It makes flying THAT much more enjoyable if you can have a laugh. :)
Hugs,
anne
Too awesome!! I had a flight attendant similar to that when I was heading into Canada...except I was the only one laughing at him and everyone else was glaring at me. :|
How come *I* never got one of those attendants?!
I was ripped off!
Hmmph!
I'm with Mel. I *never* have the fun flights. I end up with the kid behind me that constantly kicks the seat.
Flying out of Zurich, I've had a Lufthansa pilot give us the usual spiel about where we'll be flying and at what height in German, English and - of all languages - Latin!
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