Faith
On Thursday, I have to go to hospital for a relatively minor procedure. I guess you could call it that. It won't take long and I haven't given it much thought until now. With two sleeps to go, I'm getting a little anxious and I'm not sure why. Last week, I had my medical records sent to me from my very first op, back in 1995. I wanted to take them in to show what I had done and what the results were. Even reading that - and it was much worse than what I think I'm dealing with now - I haven't been all that bothered. So why now? Especially considering I'm expecting to be told everything's fine. Still, there's that niggling voice that says maybe not. I wish it would shut up!
Meanwhile, T's dealing with something that I wish he didn't have to and I find it awfully hard having to watch, but being unable to help in any way other than with words. It sucks knowing someone else's [ongoing] actions are causing pain to someone you care about. It makes me angry and want to do something to 'make things right'. Outta my control though. It seems that T has exhausted most of his avenues in an effort to be at peace and make things right over this situation too. What makes it harder is him having to watch this person's increasing successes, knowing they haven't been made accountable and that those successes are based on deceitfulness and a lack of integrity.
I believe karma, or whatever you think it to be, always rights wrongs eventually. This has gone on so long that I guess he's finding it hard to see if/when that might happen. It's relatively new to me though, so I suppose that's why my optimism is higher. That, and I really believe people pay for what they do to others. I don't like to think that I'm actively wishing ill will on someone. Instead, I just have faith that there will come a time when the record is set straight and T can feel like justice really has been done....in whatever way that happens to be.
If I happen to find a hitman between now and then, who's willing to knee-cap the guy, that won't be so bad either...
Meanwhile, T's dealing with something that I wish he didn't have to and I find it awfully hard having to watch, but being unable to help in any way other than with words. It sucks knowing someone else's [ongoing] actions are causing pain to someone you care about. It makes me angry and want to do something to 'make things right'. Outta my control though. It seems that T has exhausted most of his avenues in an effort to be at peace and make things right over this situation too. What makes it harder is him having to watch this person's increasing successes, knowing they haven't been made accountable and that those successes are based on deceitfulness and a lack of integrity.
I believe karma, or whatever you think it to be, always rights wrongs eventually. This has gone on so long that I guess he's finding it hard to see if/when that might happen. It's relatively new to me though, so I suppose that's why my optimism is higher. That, and I really believe people pay for what they do to others. I don't like to think that I'm actively wishing ill will on someone. Instead, I just have faith that there will come a time when the record is set straight and T can feel like justice really has been done....in whatever way that happens to be.
If I happen to find a hitman between now and then, who's willing to knee-cap the guy, that won't be so bad either...
posted by E in Oz at 2:45 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 2:45 pm
3 Comments:
Not to sound all creepy and fire and brimstone, but I think a lot of our "karma" comes for us after we've left this world. Which makes it difficult for us to see while we're still here, but I definitely do agree that at some point everything comes full circle.
And I'll be thinking of you on Thursday, take care of yourself E.
((((((((((E)))))))))))
It may come after we're gone and it may come while we are here but I think it does come. I hope for T's sake, the karma thing comes sooner for that guy and not later.
Keep giving him hugs,
a
*sending prayers and positive thoughts*
And hugs, of course!
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