Family - part 11 Fun-eral times

This was never going to be an easy time in life, but it was looking like it might all go as smoothly as it could, considering the family dynamics. Dad seems to be coping well. I organised my flights and I'm flying up on Wednesday morning, back that evening. I booked my brother on the same flight up, but he's going back Thursday morning.

My mother and sisters live about 15 minutes from the airport. Mum said she'd pick up me and my brother, take us to the funeral, and take me back to the airport afterwards.

Last night, I got a call from one of my sisters, telling me she and the other sister who lives there were going to tell our mum she couldn't go to the funeral. She said they didn't think she should be allowed to go to the funeral because she's always putting dad down and bad-mouthing him. I said dad had not said anything about her not going when I'd spoken to him about mum's offer to drive me. I said it's dad's decision, not anyone else's. I also stated that I was not going to get mixed up in politics, because I was going for dad and my grandfather, nobody else. My sister replied with, "Well, that's good, because we thought you might". "No. Why do you think I moved two states away?"

I'm glad she called, because they'd have been creating drama if they went ahead and told mum to stay away from the funeral. I'm not glad they assumed I'd buy into any drama. That just indicates how little they know me anymore.

Mum rang a short while ago, saying she'll put in money with me and my brother to give to charity instead of buying flowers. Fine, I'm happy with that. She stated two charities she thought we could give the money to. I said I'd ring dad and see if he agreed with those or if we should go with somewhere else, if that's what my grandfather would have wanted. She wasn't pleased with that, but I think it's the right thing to do. It's not about her and dad.

What she said next makes no sense, but it's typical of my family. My brother and I are flying there on the same plane. Somehow, it's been decided that one of my sisters will take my brother to the funeral. My mum and my sisters live in the same street, not far from the airport, but my mum will be picking me up and my sister will be picking my brother up. Surely I'm not the only one who sees the stupidity in that? As with deciding to tell my mother not to go to the funeral, they've created just the drama they said they wanted to avoid, by doing this. Mum doesn't know all the details. My sister hasn't talked to her all weekend, so I assume she got that information from my brother. She suggested we (all four of us) drive to the funeral (over an hour away) in the same car. Methinks my sister's idea was to avoid that. I suggested it may not work anyway, since I'd have to be leaving early and that may not suit everyone else.

I just do not understand. Everyone is making this all about them and I've about had enough of it already. All the reasons I moved away and have little contact with everyone have been reinforced in the last few days.