Things always get better
This is what I posted this time last year.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
It's over. I don't even know why. I feel dead.
.......yeah, it's what you're thinking.
Isn't it good that thing happen, situations change, and the clouds eventually pass? The ground fell out from underneath me last year. Everything I thought was real, wasn't. Everything I thought I had, I didn't. Amazing, the power of the lie.
When you're in the moment, it's hard to believe you'll make it out with your sanity intact. Maybe you don't. But it's nice to know it comes back eventually.
I feel so lucky now, in comparison. I have absolutely no doubt about how T feels about me. I have absolutely no doubt that he wants to be with me, and he likes me for me. All the fundamental things....I have no doubt about where he stands and what he wants. It's incredible the amount of pressure that takes off the relationship. It's nice to not have to worry about those kinds of things.
Sure, we have our disagreements and we have plenty of misunderstandings, but we talk about them and work them out. That doesn't always happen straight away, but we're getting there. I talked with him recently, about something that bothers me at a very deep level. I've never really felt able to talk (to a partner) about it before. It was difficult at first, but just to feel able to talk about it and have him understand, for the most part, was a relief. Being able to talk...and to talk about anything...it's just good.
Today, I'm feeling content. I don't know where I'll be in another year. But I'm hopeful and I'm happy. And that's really all that matters. Today, I feel lucky.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
It's over. I don't even know why. I feel dead.
.......yeah, it's what you're thinking.
Isn't it good that thing happen, situations change, and the clouds eventually pass? The ground fell out from underneath me last year. Everything I thought was real, wasn't. Everything I thought I had, I didn't. Amazing, the power of the lie.
When you're in the moment, it's hard to believe you'll make it out with your sanity intact. Maybe you don't. But it's nice to know it comes back eventually.
I feel so lucky now, in comparison. I have absolutely no doubt about how T feels about me. I have absolutely no doubt that he wants to be with me, and he likes me for me. All the fundamental things....I have no doubt about where he stands and what he wants. It's incredible the amount of pressure that takes off the relationship. It's nice to not have to worry about those kinds of things.
Sure, we have our disagreements and we have plenty of misunderstandings, but we talk about them and work them out. That doesn't always happen straight away, but we're getting there. I talked with him recently, about something that bothers me at a very deep level. I've never really felt able to talk (to a partner) about it before. It was difficult at first, but just to feel able to talk about it and have him understand, for the most part, was a relief. Being able to talk...and to talk about anything...it's just good.
Today, I'm feeling content. I don't know where I'll be in another year. But I'm hopeful and I'm happy. And that's really all that matters. Today, I feel lucky.
posted by E in Oz at 7:29 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 7:29 pm
9 Comments:
Luckly you..... but I'm not as ur. However, it's great hearing someone is smilling in this WORLD!!! I like read thru ur blog, and I'll be back soon. Cheers!
OMG, I don't even want to know WHAT I was writing at this point last year. And TWO years ago... ugh!!!
It's part of who you are and why you can appreciate the present so much. Life is full of wonderful experiences, so long as you're brave enough to live through them.
Wow...I can't believe it's already been a year since you wrote that. One thing that's cool about looking back on times when the rug was ripped out from under you is that you get to see how resiliant you are, and how much you grow. I love that.
asroh - Thanks for the comment. Feel free to stick around.
Monica - "Life is full of wonderful experiences, so long as you're brave enough to live through them." You said it, girl! :-)
Sandy - I can't believe I felt so bad. I can't believe I let someone so unworthy make me feel so bad. It's made me more demanding of good treatment though...and that ain't bad at all. (Nice to see you too!)
It really is amazing to look back in time and remember "where we were when".
It makes you realize how far you've come and how far you have left to go before it's all said and done.
Yep, like everyone said. It's so nice to be a year ahead and see where we've been, especially when at the time, we didn't think it was possible to smile again. I'm constantly amazed myself and it helps me keep my head, feeling I'm blessed and this is the place I'm meant to be, now. It sounds like you and T are doing a good job of being supportive and listening and sticking it out when walls go up due to past doubts and fears. It sounds like you've found a really good situation and I wish you the best! What Monica said, really says it all. :)
hugs,
a
Faith and some blind luck...I am so happy for you.
Hi Eve! Glad to read that you're doing well.
Ben
Hope ...glad to see I am not the only one living on it. Cheers!!
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