So much to say, so few words
Wow. I don't know where to start.
I'm mentally drained today. I have been all week. This morning my dad rang to tell me my grandfather passed away yesterday afternoon. I asked him how he was doing and he said he was ok. He sounded like he was in a place of acceptance. I hope I get to that place soon. Only yesterday I was thinking I should make another trip up there to visit. Today, he's gone.
Everyone said I was his favourite and he talked about me a lot. I knew that, and that makes me wish I'd spent more time with him. After the last visit in May, I had so many questions I wanted to ask him - things I would have liked to have known about him and his side of the family - things even dad didn't know - and I planned to try to see him in August.
I'm trying hard not to beat myself up about it. Dad said he appeared to be in good health right up until Tuesday. Yesterday, they found a tumour in his stomach nobody knew about (apparently he never complained of pain or anything). An hour later, he was gone. He told us in May that he wasn't going to be around much longer. I said to dad it sounds like he was just ready to go, so he went. He was a bit like that.
Boy...I didn't mean to type all that. I s'pose I needed to get it out more than I realised.
In other news, my job is looking more and more like it won't exist in the coming months. Things that have involved convoluted processes and hands on 'managing' are being streamlined and automated in our main database system. That means, soon I'll have nothing to do. I really have to step up the job searching!
T seems keen to pursue a position in the UK, if that becomes an option. He's asked me to look into getting myself a British passport. As it is, my Australian one is about to expire and I have to renew it anyway. The paperwork though, is insane!
Sigh...what else? Oh, I got a phone call from a guy who read an ad I placed in a womens' business directory in 1999-2000, saying he's from a PR company and would I set up some business forms and do computer training for a client of his, who happens to be in the mining industry. This could be good, so I hope the woman from that business calls me back soon.
I'm overdue for the hairdresser.
I'm flying to Adelaide to see T next Friday, for the weekend. I can't wait!
Last night, he made a statement that I think is both profound and accurate:
"Just because you can't see a future, doesn't mean there isn't one."
He's a smart guy.
I'm mentally drained today. I have been all week. This morning my dad rang to tell me my grandfather passed away yesterday afternoon. I asked him how he was doing and he said he was ok. He sounded like he was in a place of acceptance. I hope I get to that place soon. Only yesterday I was thinking I should make another trip up there to visit. Today, he's gone.
Everyone said I was his favourite and he talked about me a lot. I knew that, and that makes me wish I'd spent more time with him. After the last visit in May, I had so many questions I wanted to ask him - things I would have liked to have known about him and his side of the family - things even dad didn't know - and I planned to try to see him in August.
I'm trying hard not to beat myself up about it. Dad said he appeared to be in good health right up until Tuesday. Yesterday, they found a tumour in his stomach nobody knew about (apparently he never complained of pain or anything). An hour later, he was gone. He told us in May that he wasn't going to be around much longer. I said to dad it sounds like he was just ready to go, so he went. He was a bit like that.
Boy...I didn't mean to type all that. I s'pose I needed to get it out more than I realised.
In other news, my job is looking more and more like it won't exist in the coming months. Things that have involved convoluted processes and hands on 'managing' are being streamlined and automated in our main database system. That means, soon I'll have nothing to do. I really have to step up the job searching!
T seems keen to pursue a position in the UK, if that becomes an option. He's asked me to look into getting myself a British passport. As it is, my Australian one is about to expire and I have to renew it anyway. The paperwork though, is insane!
Sigh...what else? Oh, I got a phone call from a guy who read an ad I placed in a womens' business directory in 1999-2000, saying he's from a PR company and would I set up some business forms and do computer training for a client of his, who happens to be in the mining industry. This could be good, so I hope the woman from that business calls me back soon.
I'm overdue for the hairdresser.
I'm flying to Adelaide to see T next Friday, for the weekend. I can't wait!
Last night, he made a statement that I think is both profound and accurate:
"Just because you can't see a future, doesn't mean there isn't one."
He's a smart guy.
posted by E in Oz at 3:05 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 3:05 pm
7 Comments:
Another hug (((((E))))))
Sounds to me like you and your grandpa had a special relationship. Treasure the memories. Soon, they'll make you smile again.
Wow...I didn't realize there was a chance you'd be out of a job!? I thought you were pretty stable over there. sighhh...never know! The UK, huh? Willing to give that a try? Sounds exciting!
(And the quote IS wise. Glad you shared it with us!)
xo
..look at all the explanation points! maybe i've had too my coffee this morning!...
!!!
err..that would be too MUCH coffee.
*shaking head* jeeeeez!
There is no such thing as too much coffee. :D
;) Hugs.
I agree with Monica about the coffee...
Now, on to you.
((((((((((((((((((E)))))))))))))))))
I'm so sorry about your grandfather. What a shock that must have been- especially the fact that he died the same day they found the tumor. That's pretty incredible.
I felt the same regrets with my dear great-aunt (my dad's aunt). She and I were so close and she was my protector. The last year of her life I didn't call her as much as I should have, I didn't write as much as I should have. I've been beating myself up over that for almost 15 years now.
What we (you and I) need to focus on is that they surely knew how much we loved them- even if we didn't call every day.
I think about my boys. Sometimes 2 weeks will go by that I don't hear from them. I still know that they love me and I would never want them to be sad that they didn't call more often.
I'll bet your grandfather and my aunt felt the same way.
One more ((((((((((((((((((E))))))))))))))))
xoxo
hugs to you...sorry about your grandfather.
Sorry to learn of your Grandfathers passing.I hope you are well.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your grandfather. What RG said is good - you have to know that he loved hearing from you when he did and he knew that you loved him.
And I love that quote. That's the best thing he could have said to you, methinks.
big hugs,
a
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