Family - part 6
Oh, where to start?
My eldest sister has felt the need to copy or try to 'one-up' me for as long as I remember. I was going to study music, she was suddenly 'in a band'. I was considered doing psychology. She decided she was going to do that, "but you were going to do that, weren't you?" I broke a toe, she needed a foot amputated (ok, that one's an exaggeration). I got a good job. She had a better one. I got a good job in IT. Next thing, she's Bill Gates' advisor. I get diagnosed with narcolepsy and she develops a sleep disorder that's oh so much worse. And the latest....mum's obviously told her I'm doing Cert IV (training and assessment) and oooh looky, miraculously, she's found a job with a training company and woop-dee-doo they asked her to be a trainer and work her own hours and they're going to pay to train her because she's soooo damn awesome.
What's that saying? Imitation is the best form of flattery? Well, I don't need flattery from a woman who is a hypochondriac, self absorbed, hypocritical, lazy arse, manipulative git who is also 12 YEARS OLDER than me!
A few years ago she ended up in hospital, pretty ill. She's severely overweight, doesn't eat well and probably still smokes. She does nothing to help herself out of any predicament that she gets into (other than lie and deceive and use false names (see: MY name), but that's a whole other post). I've listened to her sob stories for so many years that when she went into hospital that time, I had no reaction at all.
Sad thing is, I had the same reaction when mum went into hospital a couple of years ago. I flew to see her at the last minute. Every minor ailment is blown out of proportion (although moreso by my sister than mum). It's hard to tell when it's serious. I didn't know till afterwards just how close mum had come to not being around anymore.
Months ago, my sister called me one afternoon and told me she was bleeding internally. "Why aren't you in hospital?" "Coz B isn't here to take me." "Isn't that what ambulances are for?" "Oh, but I can't go because....yada yada yada."
Last night she rang and told me that she had been rushed by a doctor to get some scans and things done 'urgently', and she's seeing a surgeon on Monday, because something has ruptured inside her from her last operation and she has a huge hole that could kill her within 24 hours if it gets worse (yeah, mum told me that bit). My reaction? Hhmmm...well when someone tells me she's prepped for surgery, I might have a reaction. Not till then.
The best bit? My sister has convinced my mum that the surgeon is going to say she's gonna fall off the face of the planet on Monday if she doesn't have surgery within the week. This means mum is planning on coming down here next week and, "will you be around?"
Hellooooo! I have this technical issue of a boy who's going to be here on Thursday! (Who I inadvertantly sent into a tailspin because he thought I was going to cancel on him.) I told mum it would be prudent to wait to see what the surgeon says before she buys last minute plane tickets, when it might be that my sister is slightly over-emphasising whatever medical issue she has.
Oh, I'm sure my sister has got something wrong with her. Anyone who lives so unhealthily is bound to have illnesses. Just how bad they are...that's the part that's up for debate.
So it seems that my life is going far too smoothly. I'm happy, I'm getting on with things, I'm earning a damn good accreditation, I'm going on a trip tomorrow with my girlfriends and T is coming here next week. It just goes without saying that somehow, some way, after not having contact with me for months (oh yeah, she's the one I had the furniture saga with!), that she's back in my face, trying to bring me down.
It's not going to work!
And if mum does come down next week. Well, if she is contemplating spending time here, then she might get a surprise when I say I have to go out on Tuesday night. "Oh, what for?" "Ah, you know, just my 'Counselling for Adults Who Had Fuct Up Childhoods'." That'd be an interesting conversation, don't you think?
And to think I got drunk last night. It must have been pre-emptive!
See ya Monday!
My eldest sister has felt the need to copy or try to 'one-up' me for as long as I remember. I was going to study music, she was suddenly 'in a band'. I was considered doing psychology. She decided she was going to do that, "but you were going to do that, weren't you?" I broke a toe, she needed a foot amputated (ok, that one's an exaggeration). I got a good job. She had a better one. I got a good job in IT. Next thing, she's Bill Gates' advisor. I get diagnosed with narcolepsy and she develops a sleep disorder that's oh so much worse. And the latest....mum's obviously told her I'm doing Cert IV (training and assessment) and oooh looky, miraculously, she's found a job with a training company and woop-dee-doo they asked her to be a trainer and work her own hours and they're going to pay to train her because she's soooo damn awesome.
What's that saying? Imitation is the best form of flattery? Well, I don't need flattery from a woman who is a hypochondriac, self absorbed, hypocritical, lazy arse, manipulative git who is also 12 YEARS OLDER than me!
A few years ago she ended up in hospital, pretty ill. She's severely overweight, doesn't eat well and probably still smokes. She does nothing to help herself out of any predicament that she gets into (other than lie and deceive and use false names (see: MY name), but that's a whole other post). I've listened to her sob stories for so many years that when she went into hospital that time, I had no reaction at all.
Sad thing is, I had the same reaction when mum went into hospital a couple of years ago. I flew to see her at the last minute. Every minor ailment is blown out of proportion (although moreso by my sister than mum). It's hard to tell when it's serious. I didn't know till afterwards just how close mum had come to not being around anymore.
Months ago, my sister called me one afternoon and told me she was bleeding internally. "Why aren't you in hospital?" "Coz B isn't here to take me." "Isn't that what ambulances are for?" "Oh, but I can't go because....yada yada yada."
Last night she rang and told me that she had been rushed by a doctor to get some scans and things done 'urgently', and she's seeing a surgeon on Monday, because something has ruptured inside her from her last operation and she has a huge hole that could kill her within 24 hours if it gets worse (yeah, mum told me that bit). My reaction? Hhmmm...well when someone tells me she's prepped for surgery, I might have a reaction. Not till then.
The best bit? My sister has convinced my mum that the surgeon is going to say she's gonna fall off the face of the planet on Monday if she doesn't have surgery within the week. This means mum is planning on coming down here next week and, "will you be around?"
Hellooooo! I have this technical issue of a boy who's going to be here on Thursday! (Who I inadvertantly sent into a tailspin because he thought I was going to cancel on him.) I told mum it would be prudent to wait to see what the surgeon says before she buys last minute plane tickets, when it might be that my sister is slightly over-emphasising whatever medical issue she has.
Oh, I'm sure my sister has got something wrong with her. Anyone who lives so unhealthily is bound to have illnesses. Just how bad they are...that's the part that's up for debate.
So it seems that my life is going far too smoothly. I'm happy, I'm getting on with things, I'm earning a damn good accreditation, I'm going on a trip tomorrow with my girlfriends and T is coming here next week. It just goes without saying that somehow, some way, after not having contact with me for months (oh yeah, she's the one I had the furniture saga with!), that she's back in my face, trying to bring me down.
It's not going to work!
And if mum does come down next week. Well, if she is contemplating spending time here, then she might get a surprise when I say I have to go out on Tuesday night. "Oh, what for?" "Ah, you know, just my 'Counselling for Adults Who Had Fuct Up Childhoods'." That'd be an interesting conversation, don't you think?
And to think I got drunk last night. It must have been pre-emptive!
See ya Monday!
posted by E in Oz at 10:12 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 10:12 pm
5 Comments:
Heavens girl!!! (((hugs)))
Keep your chin up and stay positive and strong girlie!
Pre-emptive. Heh.
I'm just waiting to see how this fellow turns out! ;)
Here's a funny for you. My mother is the one upper who will ALWAYS have what you have, only worse.
About 10 years ago or so, I had a kidney stone and had my mom take me to the ER.
The doctor at one poing asked about chlamydia. I hadn't had sex with anyone except my ex-husband (who could have passed all kinds of stuff on to me- ha ha), and that'd been three years ago at that time.
I told the doctor that there was no chance of it, but my mom piped up, "Oh, you should get tested. I've had chlamydia more times than I can count". The doctor just kinda raised his eyebrows and then left the room.
I laughed and laughed and finally told my mother that I was sure she'd never had chlamydia. She even argued with me until I finally told her that it was a sexually transmitted disease.
I think that is one of the BEST things that I could have ever witnessed. It still doesn't keep her from one-upping, but I think about this every time she does!
Hmmmm... could this be blog fodder? Why yes, I think it could!
She could always stay with you. You know, you on one side of the bed, the boy on the other, and Mum in the middle with her arms crossed ;)
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