Being healthy tastes disgusting!
I mentioned last week that I went to a naturopath/nutritionist that I got a free consultation with through my gym. I went back yesterday to get started on the program.
I have entirely some of the worst eating habits in the world. I bought the brocolli, cauliflower, spinach, mushrooms etc that my trainer told me to. They're still in my freezer. I did start to eat the nuts and tuna I bought...but when that ran out, I didn't buy anymore. I already only ate wholegrain bread, so I guess I earn a point for that, and I'd already switched from margarine to butter. Another point. What I can't get my head around is that they said not to eat low fat dairy - low fat anything. The reason being, they say low fat is great, but it has more carbs, so it ends up being bad in the end. Dunno. I bought full cream cheese and milk, but I feel bad eating them! Guess I have to change the brainwashing.
But back to yesterday. The n'path gave me this little bottle of white powder called Colozone, that I have to have a level teaspoon of each night, with water, for the next five nights. Have you ever eaten a piece of chalk? A big piece? That's what this stuff is like! It doesn't dissolve in the water, so when you stir it and the water looks like it's mixing it, it's not! You swallow and only then do you realise that you simply drank water and the rest of the damn chalk gunk is sliding down the side of the glass and into your mouth by itself. A mouthful of chalk! Swallow. No, it won't go down. Grab another glass of water and hope to G-d it makes it go down. Finally!
If I thought that was the worst of it, I was wrong. Next is one and a half teaspoons of apple cider vinegar, diluted in a glass of water. Never tried it before? Do yourself a favour, go get some. Then, when you have children, you'll know the best punishment you could possibly give them. Oh, no. You can't get in trouble for child abuse, coz it's supposed to be a wonder drug. Torture disguised as a health benefit! Perfect!
I got up this morning with a spring in my step. So much anticipation for the morning routine! No Colozone in the mornings (thank the Lord!). Instead, some stuff called Renotone. (Google kept trying to tell me I was looking up 'ringtone'. Ugh!) I have it in liquid form and need to put ten drops under my tongue each morning. Now, if I was in charge of a pharmaceutical company, I'd make all these supposedly good-for-you things, taste good. Chocolate, strawberry, or even some minty flavour would do. Renotone tastes equally as foul as apple cider vinegar, but in its own special way. Had me screwing my face up and waving my hand in front of my mouth like I was eating something hot, simultaneously reaching for the tap so I could down another glass of water to get rid of the taste.
The horror of having to drink the apple cider vinegar again made me shiver, but I did it.
I gotta say, at this rate, drinking 8-10 glasses of water a day is going to be a breeze, because it takes at least half of that to kill the foul tastes from all these supposedly healthy and beneficial drops and powders.
The worst bit? No sugar after 5pm. Give me strength!
I have entirely some of the worst eating habits in the world. I bought the brocolli, cauliflower, spinach, mushrooms etc that my trainer told me to. They're still in my freezer. I did start to eat the nuts and tuna I bought...but when that ran out, I didn't buy anymore. I already only ate wholegrain bread, so I guess I earn a point for that, and I'd already switched from margarine to butter. Another point. What I can't get my head around is that they said not to eat low fat dairy - low fat anything. The reason being, they say low fat is great, but it has more carbs, so it ends up being bad in the end. Dunno. I bought full cream cheese and milk, but I feel bad eating them! Guess I have to change the brainwashing.
But back to yesterday. The n'path gave me this little bottle of white powder called Colozone, that I have to have a level teaspoon of each night, with water, for the next five nights. Have you ever eaten a piece of chalk? A big piece? That's what this stuff is like! It doesn't dissolve in the water, so when you stir it and the water looks like it's mixing it, it's not! You swallow and only then do you realise that you simply drank water and the rest of the damn chalk gunk is sliding down the side of the glass and into your mouth by itself. A mouthful of chalk! Swallow. No, it won't go down. Grab another glass of water and hope to G-d it makes it go down. Finally!
If I thought that was the worst of it, I was wrong. Next is one and a half teaspoons of apple cider vinegar, diluted in a glass of water. Never tried it before? Do yourself a favour, go get some. Then, when you have children, you'll know the best punishment you could possibly give them. Oh, no. You can't get in trouble for child abuse, coz it's supposed to be a wonder drug. Torture disguised as a health benefit! Perfect!
I got up this morning with a spring in my step. So much anticipation for the morning routine! No Colozone in the mornings (thank the Lord!). Instead, some stuff called Renotone. (Google kept trying to tell me I was looking up 'ringtone'. Ugh!) I have it in liquid form and need to put ten drops under my tongue each morning. Now, if I was in charge of a pharmaceutical company, I'd make all these supposedly good-for-you things, taste good. Chocolate, strawberry, or even some minty flavour would do. Renotone tastes equally as foul as apple cider vinegar, but in its own special way. Had me screwing my face up and waving my hand in front of my mouth like I was eating something hot, simultaneously reaching for the tap so I could down another glass of water to get rid of the taste.
The horror of having to drink the apple cider vinegar again made me shiver, but I did it.
I gotta say, at this rate, drinking 8-10 glasses of water a day is going to be a breeze, because it takes at least half of that to kill the foul tastes from all these supposedly healthy and beneficial drops and powders.
The worst bit? No sugar after 5pm. Give me strength!
posted by E in Oz at 8:38 am
these thoughts escaped my brain at 8:38 am
4 Comments:
LOL because my eating habits are horrendous. I'm sitting here eating jelly babies, fake teeth and an icecream (well it *is* before 5pm lol).
I think if I have to compensate for a while by consuming things more foul than poison, perhaps it'll encourage me to munch on a carrot once in a while instead. LOL
Health Maths 101:
Tasty Food minus Flavour = Healthy food.
I'm currently growing some tofu in my fridge. Doctors orders on a diet change. I'm not sure if you should grow tofu...but it's been in there so long that it started to sprout.
I have just started the same, did you ever find a better way of taking the colozone, I want to mix it with something to eat it instead, I am dreading tonight when I have to do it again, every bit of info on the Internet just says dissolve in water thought my batch had gone off! Any help would be appreciated
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