Relax
Driving to work today (at the butt crack of dawn, before the sun came up), from the anti-me's house, I realised what I like about the situation.
There's no pressure. He doesn't hassle me. He accepts what I say, think and do. He doesn't stress if I don't contact him every single day (except once, but that was because of the way I was behaving). I don't feel obliged to keep in touch and he doesn't either. We just do, because we want to.
Two other guys I've met recently have come across as needy and a little insecure. Both have said they don't want or are not ready for relationships. I said good, nor am I. Both are making it difficult for me to breathe. They could be great people. They're making it difficult for me to want to get to know them....as friends.
I don't understand it. I was always under the impression that women were more inclined to be that way than men. T was a little that way. He didn't believe I didn't need a huge amount of contact every day. I would have settled for great contact every second or third day than (what ended up being) very mediocre contact each day.
Maybe women start out being that way and grow into themselves and become more secure and men become less secure as they get older. It's seeming that way.
I think I should stop referring to J as the anti-me. He's appearing more like me - in some ways - than I thought he'd be.
There's no pressure. He doesn't hassle me. He accepts what I say, think and do. He doesn't stress if I don't contact him every single day (except once, but that was because of the way I was behaving). I don't feel obliged to keep in touch and he doesn't either. We just do, because we want to.
Two other guys I've met recently have come across as needy and a little insecure. Both have said they don't want or are not ready for relationships. I said good, nor am I. Both are making it difficult for me to breathe. They could be great people. They're making it difficult for me to want to get to know them....as friends.
I don't understand it. I was always under the impression that women were more inclined to be that way than men. T was a little that way. He didn't believe I didn't need a huge amount of contact every day. I would have settled for great contact every second or third day than (what ended up being) very mediocre contact each day.
Maybe women start out being that way and grow into themselves and become more secure and men become less secure as they get older. It's seeming that way.
I think I should stop referring to J as the anti-me. He's appearing more like me - in some ways - than I thought he'd be.
posted by E in Oz at 8:27 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 8:27 pm
3 Comments:
Oy.
If you're RIGHT......I'm in for a whole LOT of neurotic moments with 'he who thinks I need to be obeyed even when it's a simple freaking question'.
Oh.
My.
G-d.
THIS is why their hair falls out and ours turn grey.
hehe. i guess both our boys are getting relabled. must be the change in weather.
;) butt crack of dawn driving... fun times! :D
I think you're right about the switcharoo (man starts out needing less, woman needing more- then at some point it switches).
I've noticed this with BJ- not a HUGE difference, but the longer we're together, he's more and more emotionally dependent on me (again, not in a yucky way- but it's very obvious that he'd be devistated if something happened to me).
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