Boys and toys
About a week or so ago, a boy contacted me on a dating site that I don't really check all that often. He left me a kind of "just passing through, liked your profile, good luck" message and that was supposed to be that. I thanked him and told him I wasn't interested in anything. He said good, because he wasn't either. He didn't want to get to know me due to the fact that my hair is blonde. Honestly, it's common. I've seen guys specify on their profile that they won't talk to blondes at all. Narrow minded, but whatever.
Since that first exchange, we've been emailing via that site daily. We talk about mundane, every day stuff. There's something really good about having been upfront from the beginning about not being interested. It takes all the pressure off. Last night, we chatted on the phone. 167 minutes. 45 seconds. Holy cow!
He jokingly asked me to go car shopping with him today. I said it sounded like fun. I went to his house, then we drove to a dealership he wanted to go to. They didn't have the car he wanted, but we test drove another one just because we could. He tried to do a deal with the sales guy, but the dude was a jerk and really couldn't be bothered making a sale, so we left.
We were close by a nice, scenic drive, so we decided we'd drive up the mountain for lunch. (Ian, where Peter Pansy was conceived). It was super cold, VERY rainy and cloudy, but the food was good. (We didn't really consider the strangeness of our first meeting being car shopping till later on.) After lunch, we drove to a few more dealerships. One didn't have the car we wanted to test drive and the rest didn't have sales guys who wanted to sell. We left without a new car (by the end of the day it was "our" car) and resolving to go back in a couple of weeks and let me do the negotiating.
We attempted a little role playing. He went to one place yesterday and tested a serious turbo charged sports car, but changed his mind to something more 'classic' over night. We thought we'd pretend he was taking me back to look at something else because he wasn't allowed to buy the sports car. We didn't have to say anything. The guy at the counter looked at us and asked him if he was in yesterday. T (yes, another T! I told you, everyone is called the same few names!) replied that he was. At that point, the guy looked at me, back at T, and said, "Ok, so I guess you've changed your mind about the [sports car]". Ha!
When we got back to T's place, I was ready to go home, but we started talking about his dvd collection. Somehow, we ended up putting on the second of the LOTR movies. During that, he made - from scratch! - little meat and vegetable pies for us. They were good!
Just after the movie finished, his friend P turned up. He met her on the same dating site and they were going out tonight. There was a bit of excitement when she first got to his house. She's like me about spiders and there was one on the inside of the driver's door of her car when she drove up. T had to go out and kill it. I stayed on the balcony to watch. There was no way in heck I was going near it!
He made her coffee and washed her car where he squashed the spider and I bid them both goodnight. After I put the strangeness out of my head, it was good to know that I can make nice, sane friends - and meet their other, sane friends - from a dating site - and not have any expectations of anything else.
I'm going parasailing in the morning (weather permitting). I invited him along, but he may not go, because P will probably stay over his place. (He's very much a "There's the spare room" guy, in case you were wondering.) I'm invited back around for lunch, though, and I said I would. He's been promising to cook a roast all week.
Bizarro coincidence....he and I both have the same street address. We're both unit 1, #15. I should buy a lotto ticket, or something.
Meanwhile, the lovely anti-me sent me a message while we were at lunch, saying he was thinking about me when he was out at 4am this morning and was going to come and pick me up. I told him it was a good thing he didn't and asked if I should expect a call tonight instead. It's a bit of a semi-joke. One of his mates calls his gf early in the mornings to go and pick them up when they've been out....and she does. I told him if he did that with me, I'd gladly ring them a cab, but buggered if I'm going to get out of bed to drive him and his mates home from a club.
He wants to catch up for dinner tomorrow night. I said I'd do that. He suggested coming here, because he hasn't been here for ages. That would mean I'd have to clean my house and it's not likely it'll be 'visitor clean' between now and then. We'll see.
Apparently, he could tell, on Friday, that was still in a grumpy mood. He rang me after I sent him a text, which he doesn't normally do. Said it was because he knew I was still not my usual peachy self. He confuses me with his thoughtfulness. He had a female friend stay a couple of nights last week, because she was in some kind of difficulty. He talked a bit about that, although didn't explain what her issues were - just that there were many. Eh, from the sounds of it, he's not going to help her out by letting her stay again, because when she left, she didn't take all her stuff and just assumed she could leave it there. It's more than that, but anyway, that's a circumstance I don't want to get involved in. I have to believe him when he said she stayed in the spare room. I don't have reason to doubt it and I didn't question it. Do I have a right to? I guess so, but I also agreed to the 'no complications' terms. I'm not that emotionally invested.
As far as how I feel about this friend staying over, I can say I don't feel how I expected I would feel. And that's interesting. The walls I've built have become glaringly obvious. For now, I'm ok with that. I'll take 'em down when I'm ready, and for the right person.
I am tired. I'm so glad I get to turn the clock back and get an extra hour sleep tonight.
Since that first exchange, we've been emailing via that site daily. We talk about mundane, every day stuff. There's something really good about having been upfront from the beginning about not being interested. It takes all the pressure off. Last night, we chatted on the phone. 167 minutes. 45 seconds. Holy cow!
He jokingly asked me to go car shopping with him today. I said it sounded like fun. I went to his house, then we drove to a dealership he wanted to go to. They didn't have the car he wanted, but we test drove another one just because we could. He tried to do a deal with the sales guy, but the dude was a jerk and really couldn't be bothered making a sale, so we left.
We were close by a nice, scenic drive, so we decided we'd drive up the mountain for lunch. (Ian, where Peter Pansy was conceived). It was super cold, VERY rainy and cloudy, but the food was good. (We didn't really consider the strangeness of our first meeting being car shopping till later on.) After lunch, we drove to a few more dealerships. One didn't have the car we wanted to test drive and the rest didn't have sales guys who wanted to sell. We left without a new car (by the end of the day it was "our" car) and resolving to go back in a couple of weeks and let me do the negotiating.
We attempted a little role playing. He went to one place yesterday and tested a serious turbo charged sports car, but changed his mind to something more 'classic' over night. We thought we'd pretend he was taking me back to look at something else because he wasn't allowed to buy the sports car. We didn't have to say anything. The guy at the counter looked at us and asked him if he was in yesterday. T (yes, another T! I told you, everyone is called the same few names!) replied that he was. At that point, the guy looked at me, back at T, and said, "Ok, so I guess you've changed your mind about the [sports car]". Ha!
When we got back to T's place, I was ready to go home, but we started talking about his dvd collection. Somehow, we ended up putting on the second of the LOTR movies. During that, he made - from scratch! - little meat and vegetable pies for us. They were good!
Just after the movie finished, his friend P turned up. He met her on the same dating site and they were going out tonight. There was a bit of excitement when she first got to his house. She's like me about spiders and there was one on the inside of the driver's door of her car when she drove up. T had to go out and kill it. I stayed on the balcony to watch. There was no way in heck I was going near it!
He made her coffee and washed her car where he squashed the spider and I bid them both goodnight. After I put the strangeness out of my head, it was good to know that I can make nice, sane friends - and meet their other, sane friends - from a dating site - and not have any expectations of anything else.
I'm going parasailing in the morning (weather permitting). I invited him along, but he may not go, because P will probably stay over his place. (He's very much a "There's the spare room" guy, in case you were wondering.) I'm invited back around for lunch, though, and I said I would. He's been promising to cook a roast all week.
Bizarro coincidence....he and I both have the same street address. We're both unit 1, #15. I should buy a lotto ticket, or something.
Meanwhile, the lovely anti-me sent me a message while we were at lunch, saying he was thinking about me when he was out at 4am this morning and was going to come and pick me up. I told him it was a good thing he didn't and asked if I should expect a call tonight instead. It's a bit of a semi-joke. One of his mates calls his gf early in the mornings to go and pick them up when they've been out....and she does. I told him if he did that with me, I'd gladly ring them a cab, but buggered if I'm going to get out of bed to drive him and his mates home from a club.
He wants to catch up for dinner tomorrow night. I said I'd do that. He suggested coming here, because he hasn't been here for ages. That would mean I'd have to clean my house and it's not likely it'll be 'visitor clean' between now and then. We'll see.
Apparently, he could tell, on Friday, that was still in a grumpy mood. He rang me after I sent him a text, which he doesn't normally do. Said it was because he knew I was still not my usual peachy self. He confuses me with his thoughtfulness. He had a female friend stay a couple of nights last week, because she was in some kind of difficulty. He talked a bit about that, although didn't explain what her issues were - just that there were many. Eh, from the sounds of it, he's not going to help her out by letting her stay again, because when she left, she didn't take all her stuff and just assumed she could leave it there. It's more than that, but anyway, that's a circumstance I don't want to get involved in. I have to believe him when he said she stayed in the spare room. I don't have reason to doubt it and I didn't question it. Do I have a right to? I guess so, but I also agreed to the 'no complications' terms. I'm not that emotionally invested.
As far as how I feel about this friend staying over, I can say I don't feel how I expected I would feel. And that's interesting. The walls I've built have become glaringly obvious. For now, I'm ok with that. I'll take 'em down when I'm ready, and for the right person.
I am tired. I'm so glad I get to turn the clock back and get an extra hour sleep tonight.
posted by E in Oz at 8:58 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 8:58 pm
7 Comments:
Interesting first meeting shopping for a car.
Dating sites are interesting. Even though I met my girlfriend on a dating site, I'm not sure I'd do it again....for several reasons...one of them being that people can be who they want to be, not who they really are. And most people say the same half-dozen things in their profile. But on the same token, I know it's worked for a lot of people.
Oh, and on our second date, we went car shopping :P.....It was a first for me, but fun.
Glad to see you're keeping busy with all kinds of adventures....
Even though I don't often comment, I enjoy your writing.
HUGS!
*shaking head*
Why is it women get stereotyped when it comes to buying cars?
Don't answer that. It was a grievance, not a question..even though the punctuation says different.
BTW--(just an opinion)it's your responsibility to know cuz it's you who potentially will be affected.
*sitting on hands now!*
I have to admit, I'm always intrigued by your entries. Car shopping, eh? It all sounds very...exciting :p
Hey consise - good to see you!
Thanks for dropping by Kyle. I hear you about the profiles. At one stage, I thought I missed the memo that said you had to list the Shawshank Redemption as one of your favourite movies. Good to see someone else makes an occasion of car shopping hehe.
G, I miss you lady! Hugs to you too!
Mel, it was so unbelievably obvious that I was too surprised to be annoyed.
Caro, sweety, I'm just intrigued by you altogether. You rock. :-)
You talked to someone on the phone for almost 3 hours?! Someone you'd never met. Wow, I'm impressed. I'm catching up. Doing a bit of reading on everyone's blogs. It sounds like you are doing good. You're still hanging with the anti-you... it almost sounds like an anti-relationship! :)
hugs,
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