Remorse
I was angry with myself today. For a number of reasons, and for no reason. In fact, I was teary for the first time in a while. I thought I'd send the anti-me a text, coz I hadn't heard from him since Wednesday. His reply was quick and it was nice, but for some reason, it made me more annoyed. I was short with him when he suggested we catch up. He offered to take me to dinner next week. Again, I responded with a pretty unfeeling tone. I was smart enough to apologise at the time and let him know I wasn't in the best frame of mind. The guy was so understanding. He just doesn't stress out and almost becomes more patient when I'm like that (only happened twice so far now).
Three hours later, I sent him a message to apologise for taking my bad mood out on him. It was nothing really to do with him, but I made it about him. I've learned to admit my mistakes. I appreciate that he didn't react back to me in the same tone. It's easy to like that quality in a person. In some ways, this is the easiest non-relationship I've ever had. In some ways, it's hard. Perhaps because it is a non-relationship.
I went out into my backyard and read my book in the sun for a couple of hours. It's amazing how sunlight and warmth makes you feel so much better.
Three hours later, I sent him a message to apologise for taking my bad mood out on him. It was nothing really to do with him, but I made it about him. I've learned to admit my mistakes. I appreciate that he didn't react back to me in the same tone. It's easy to like that quality in a person. In some ways, this is the easiest non-relationship I've ever had. In some ways, it's hard. Perhaps because it is a non-relationship.
I went out into my backyard and read my book in the sun for a couple of hours. It's amazing how sunlight and warmth makes you feel so much better.
posted by E in Oz at 11:38 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 11:38 pm
3 Comments:
That's what I need---sunshine and warmth.
(((((((((((E))))))))))))
I was mad at myself this morning already.
The good news is I've managed to not shove it in anyone else's direction yet.
I say 'yet' cuz himself's still in bed and the day's still young.
*sigh*
(And I hope it's okay that I added a linky thingamabob to you 'over there'...If not, I can be mad at myself for not asking before 'doing' and just add that to the list I seem to be compiling....oy oy oy)
(((((((E)))))))
(((((((E)))))))
Sunshine and warmth, yes, it's a wonderful thing! Hope you are having a better day :)
((((((((((E))))))))))
I can relate to what you're saying, E...
In my days, I have constant contact with other humans. I'm rarely alone. I interact all day long with dozens of people at work. By the time I come home I've just sort of run out.
Often I think how it would be so much easier if I just didn't have to converse. But then I think I shouldn't think that way...that I should be thankful I have someone to come home to. And I am. It's just that sometimes, I'm not all that pleasant to be around.
I've made this about me, haven't I?
Backyard, book, sunshine. Sounds lovely.
((((E))))
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