A thought
This is from a book I'm reading. I had included it in part of a post I wrote the other day, but later removed. Figured I'd put it up again, by itself.
Compassion is the lifeblood of [relationships] and failure of compassion is the 'heart disease' of a [couple's] emotional life. It actually would be less hurtful if your [partner] never cared about how you feel. But when you were falling in love, he cared a great deal, so now it feels like betrayal when he doesn't care or try to understand..... It may not seem so...but your [partner] probably still loves you. His emotional reactivity indicates that a strong bond still stirs the guilt and shame....
...It's not possible to feel loving or worthy of love at the same time that you feel resentful or angry - they are incompatible emotional states; you can feel one and then the other, but not at the same time.
...The tragedy...is that both of you feel inadequate and unlovable... the choice is entirely self destructive, for in the history of humankind, no one has ever felt more lovable by hurting someone he loves.
I'm trying to be compassionate.
Compassion is the lifeblood of [relationships] and failure of compassion is the 'heart disease' of a [couple's] emotional life. It actually would be less hurtful if your [partner] never cared about how you feel. But when you were falling in love, he cared a great deal, so now it feels like betrayal when he doesn't care or try to understand..... It may not seem so...but your [partner] probably still loves you. His emotional reactivity indicates that a strong bond still stirs the guilt and shame....
...It's not possible to feel loving or worthy of love at the same time that you feel resentful or angry - they are incompatible emotional states; you can feel one and then the other, but not at the same time.
...The tragedy...is that both of you feel inadequate and unlovable... the choice is entirely self destructive, for in the history of humankind, no one has ever felt more lovable by hurting someone he loves.
I'm trying to be compassionate.
posted by E in Oz at 3:40 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 3:40 pm
2 Comments:
no one has ever felt more lovable by hurting someone he loves.
That is most certainly one truth that some people never learn...
Glad you and T got to talking for his b-day. Wish I had something profound and uplifting to say, but I have to go scrub out poopy dog kennels. (Doesn't that sound like fun? Don't you wish you had almost 200 lbs of furry poopers to aggravate your respiratory infection and bother your cranky old neighbors???)
I got home yesterday to find one of my cats had thrown up on my bed. Does that count?
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