Family, feuds, fears, facts and food
Patient posting promotes positive ponderances. Isn't alliteration so annoying? Almost as much as getting a stupid song stuck in your head, but not quite.
On Friday night, I was out for dinner with my mother, my brother and his girlfriend. The subject of people we know who look like famous people, came up. Stupidly, I mentioned a teacher who used to work here, who looked just like the guy from Greatest American Hero. Every time I saw him, that damn theme song would start running through my head. Of course, my mother and my brother's gf had to start singing it and the torture has begun again.
In case the cyberworld really wants to know, my sister was released from hospital late in January. She still needed to go back in each day to have dressings changed, but at least she was at home. After a couple of days, she started complaining of chest pain, light headedness etc and was admitted back into hospital because she had a pulmonary embolism. After a dose of anticoagulant drugs, she was out on Thursday... and my mum came back down here to stay at my brother's, before going home yesterday afternoon.
So we were having drinks at one restaurant while we waited for a table at another restaurant and we started talking about ghosts and haunted houses. Mum has lived in two haunted houses; one when she was a child, and one that my brother and I grew up in. She told me more information about an incident that happened to me one night in a house we were holidaying in when I was a teenager. I certainly remembered it, because it still freaks me out to think about it. Hearing the rest of the things she had to say made me feel a lot less like I've been overreacting about that night, and a lot more justified in still feeling that intense fear when I let it into my head for too long.
If the conversation had stayed on ghosts and things that make you scream in the night, I would have been happy. Unfortunately, the subject of my dad came up and mum sat there and told some horrendous untruths and some simply uncalled for remarks. Honestly, if I had my car there, I would have fought with myself about whether to leave or not. As it was, I turned away and allowed myself time to calm down. Sure, I could have said something, but one person's inappropriate comments don't validate the next person doing the same thing. And mum would have started crying and I really wasn't in the mood to deal with it.
T and I had some major miscommunications during the day, compounding a headache I woke up with, and I'd left my phone at my brother's by mistake, when we went out, so I had no way to tell T what I was up to...and that was part of the miscommunication in the first place. I had to use my mum's phone to call him, which was bad for two reasons. The first was that it was noisy where he was and where I was, so he heard, "I'll call you in a hour" when I said, "we're not eating for another hour, I'll have to call you when we get home". More miscommunication. The second bad reason was/is that now my mother has his phone number (and she felt the need to remind me in passing again yesterday - "oh is this T's number...?"). Because T didn't hear from me when he thought I was going to call, and I wasn't answering my phone, he rang my mum's phone. Sigh....
Despite everything, the meals were great and we managed to have a decent time overall. However, I went home as soon as we got back to my brother's house, because my head was about to explode. I spoke to T on the way home and we resolved the stupidity from earlier on in the day, only for a new issue to rear its head.
I will just say one thing in that regard. Withholding information because you don't want to upset someone, or have them worry, just makes them twice as upset when they do find out later - 1) for the original reason and 2) because it was withheld. In this instance, my issue was the withholding, rather than what was withheld. I do understand the motivation to withhold info. I think everybody does it to 'protect' someone else at one time or another. I'd just rather know about an issue when it's singular, than when it's compounded. Anyway, that's sorted out too and I'm actually glad it came up how and when it did. Hard for me to explain really why that is, but it's true. It was reassuring, in a bizarre way - not the withholding, but the timing of the resolution.
I haven't mentioned here enough how awesome I think T is. He rings me at the same time every night, religiously, he contacts me throughout the day, when he can, is thoughtful and generous and constantly makes me speechless with the lovely things he says about me. He makes me feel smart and feel good about myself and he's funny and I love spending time with him. It's daunting to think about moving over there, but he's an amazing friend and I'm really looking forward to it.
All in all? Things are pretty good in this little corner of cyberspace right now.
On Friday night, I was out for dinner with my mother, my brother and his girlfriend. The subject of people we know who look like famous people, came up. Stupidly, I mentioned a teacher who used to work here, who looked just like the guy from Greatest American Hero. Every time I saw him, that damn theme song would start running through my head. Of course, my mother and my brother's gf had to start singing it and the torture has begun again.
In case the cyberworld really wants to know, my sister was released from hospital late in January. She still needed to go back in each day to have dressings changed, but at least she was at home. After a couple of days, she started complaining of chest pain, light headedness etc and was admitted back into hospital because she had a pulmonary embolism. After a dose of anticoagulant drugs, she was out on Thursday... and my mum came back down here to stay at my brother's, before going home yesterday afternoon.
So we were having drinks at one restaurant while we waited for a table at another restaurant and we started talking about ghosts and haunted houses. Mum has lived in two haunted houses; one when she was a child, and one that my brother and I grew up in. She told me more information about an incident that happened to me one night in a house we were holidaying in when I was a teenager. I certainly remembered it, because it still freaks me out to think about it. Hearing the rest of the things she had to say made me feel a lot less like I've been overreacting about that night, and a lot more justified in still feeling that intense fear when I let it into my head for too long.
If the conversation had stayed on ghosts and things that make you scream in the night, I would have been happy. Unfortunately, the subject of my dad came up and mum sat there and told some horrendous untruths and some simply uncalled for remarks. Honestly, if I had my car there, I would have fought with myself about whether to leave or not. As it was, I turned away and allowed myself time to calm down. Sure, I could have said something, but one person's inappropriate comments don't validate the next person doing the same thing. And mum would have started crying and I really wasn't in the mood to deal with it.
T and I had some major miscommunications during the day, compounding a headache I woke up with, and I'd left my phone at my brother's by mistake, when we went out, so I had no way to tell T what I was up to...and that was part of the miscommunication in the first place. I had to use my mum's phone to call him, which was bad for two reasons. The first was that it was noisy where he was and where I was, so he heard, "I'll call you in a hour" when I said, "we're not eating for another hour, I'll have to call you when we get home". More miscommunication. The second bad reason was/is that now my mother has his phone number (and she felt the need to remind me in passing again yesterday - "oh is this T's number...?"). Because T didn't hear from me when he thought I was going to call, and I wasn't answering my phone, he rang my mum's phone. Sigh....
Despite everything, the meals were great and we managed to have a decent time overall. However, I went home as soon as we got back to my brother's house, because my head was about to explode. I spoke to T on the way home and we resolved the stupidity from earlier on in the day, only for a new issue to rear its head.
I will just say one thing in that regard. Withholding information because you don't want to upset someone, or have them worry, just makes them twice as upset when they do find out later - 1) for the original reason and 2) because it was withheld. In this instance, my issue was the withholding, rather than what was withheld. I do understand the motivation to withhold info. I think everybody does it to 'protect' someone else at one time or another. I'd just rather know about an issue when it's singular, than when it's compounded. Anyway, that's sorted out too and I'm actually glad it came up how and when it did. Hard for me to explain really why that is, but it's true. It was reassuring, in a bizarre way - not the withholding, but the timing of the resolution.
I haven't mentioned here enough how awesome I think T is. He rings me at the same time every night, religiously, he contacts me throughout the day, when he can, is thoughtful and generous and constantly makes me speechless with the lovely things he says about me. He makes me feel smart and feel good about myself and he's funny and I love spending time with him. It's daunting to think about moving over there, but he's an amazing friend and I'm really looking forward to it.
All in all? Things are pretty good in this little corner of cyberspace right now.
posted by E in Oz at 10:41 am
these thoughts escaped my brain at 10:41 am
4 Comments:
"Withholding information because you don't want to upset someone, or have them worry, just makes them twice as upset when they do find out later"
I entirely agree. And people always find out!
I agree, too, but timing is important sometimes.
I'm thinking way positive thoughts for you and T.
Tell us more about the 'haunted houses'...
I know the "withholding info" part all too well -- it cost me my relationship with my ex. miscommunication, too, is hopefully easily resolved, or at least should be in theory, and it sounds like you two were alright in that respect.
i agree: more haunted stuff. i want to hear about the shades in that house, especially since I'm working on Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted right now ;) love reading your work as always.
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