Gettin' deep for a moment
This is from someone's signature line on a message board I read:
"I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."
It's a quote from Carrie, from SATC.
I want your thoughts on what it says. I'm interested to hear everyone's perspective. I'll post mine when I have more time.
"I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."
It's a quote from Carrie, from SATC.
I want your thoughts on what it says. I'm interested to hear everyone's perspective. I'll post mine when I have more time.
posted by E in Oz at 10:14 am
these thoughts escaped my brain at 10:14 am
5 Comments:
Funny you should mention this now. It took a number of years before I got to the point where I loved me for me and stopped beating myself up over and over again for not being perfect. Then I stopped settling.
When I first met Chandler, it was seriously like we were old friends... and actually, you've seen it run the gamut of all the relationship types you described...
People have their own theories on how it is I'm getting through my current trials and tribulations with such a chipper attitude. Truth is, I KNOW with all my heart, who I am and what makes me happy. Everything else ain't nothin' but a thang! You can't take me from me.
I don't like reading passages like this. They're like Self Help books for me. Easy for them to say it, they don't have to live it.
At the risk of sounding like a total writing snob, it's soundbites like this that make me look down my nose at tv writing.
Because, of course we need to properly and truly love ourselves in order to be healthy in our connection with others. That's been said in so many ways by so many people for so many years...
But while that first part of that quote sounds great, I don't think it's really true. I think as women we like to categorize our relationships after the fact. 'This one was to help me learn this about myself' 'that one was to bring me to a place of contentment with who I already am' etc. When in truth, every relationship, every contact with another person that involves intimacy (friendship thru love), they all include all those things at one time or another, in one way or another, at one level or another. We just choose whether we acknowledge or recognize those bits later on.
The way we categorize each relationship says more about the way we see ourselves at those times than about the way those relationships really existed.
And lastly (whew! lol), every person you allow in will 'love the you you love', it's just based on how much you do (or do not) love yourself. Like attracts like, after all. Disrespect yourself and others will as well.
But in a general way, I think this is a cheater line. Sounds like it says something meaningful and profound, when really if you take out the extraneous bits, it says nothing more than "like yourself and you will draw the right person to you".
xo
Randygirl
I like the last part of the quote - "If you can find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous." I've always judged my own relationships based on how much I like the "me" who shows up. I guess I'm sort of chameleon-like that way - with this person I'm quiet, with this person I'm funny, with this person I'm nervous. The best relationships are the ones where I get to naturally be the me I am when I'm alone.
I think that behind the schmaltz in this quotation is this one sentence
But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.
Even more than your relationship with yourself there is the relationship that you have with your own life.
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