You got kids? I got a question...
This one's a little different from my usual posts, but it's something I'm curious about and am not sure how to handle.
A is six years old, but he still wets himself. (Yeah, told ya it was different.) C and H have not worked out yet if it's physiological or pyschological, but nor does it appear they've consulted a doctor about it. I don't think it's my place to interfere, but I'm wondering if it's something he'll grow out of, or if that all depends on whether or not it really is physiological or pyschological.
It seems most of the time he simply forgets to go to the toilet and needs to be reminded - before bed, before we drive anywhere, after he has something to drink, while he's watching tv. It's like he gets so involved in what he's doing that he simply doesn't realise and the next thing you know, someone's asking him to change his jeans.
It doesn't seem to bother him (A). I know that C and H are concerned about it, but I think it's something that they need to work on solving together. It feels almost like there's a level of acceptance or resignation that they can't do much about it, and I don't necessarily think that's entirely the case. I think A needs to be made to also understand that some of the responsibility is his as well.
I dunno....it's just something that's been on my mind. Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?
A is six years old, but he still wets himself. (Yeah, told ya it was different.) C and H have not worked out yet if it's physiological or pyschological, but nor does it appear they've consulted a doctor about it. I don't think it's my place to interfere, but I'm wondering if it's something he'll grow out of, or if that all depends on whether or not it really is physiological or pyschological.
It seems most of the time he simply forgets to go to the toilet and needs to be reminded - before bed, before we drive anywhere, after he has something to drink, while he's watching tv. It's like he gets so involved in what he's doing that he simply doesn't realise and the next thing you know, someone's asking him to change his jeans.
It doesn't seem to bother him (A). I know that C and H are concerned about it, but I think it's something that they need to work on solving together. It feels almost like there's a level of acceptance or resignation that they can't do much about it, and I don't necessarily think that's entirely the case. I think A needs to be made to also understand that some of the responsibility is his as well.
I dunno....it's just something that's been on my mind. Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions?
posted by E in Oz at 3:07 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 3:07 pm
6 Comments:
Oh why am I chiming in on this when I don't have kids? Well, all I can say is that there was a kid in my family that was still wetting at 5. Mostly at night, because the kid slept too soundly and wasn't able to wake to get up and go. But also sometimes during the day, usually when playing, because the kid didn't want to take a time out from play and miss out on anything. The parents took the kid to the doctor, which I've heard the kid still has bad memories of, and which did no good. The decision was that it was not a medical issue, simply that the kid needed to start paying more attention. I don't know exactly what they did (although I could ask I guess) to get the kid to stop wetting, but I think it was (unfortunately) along the lines of explaining how others will look at the kid for it, and forcing the kid to take time outs until it became habit. In other words, the constant obnoxious "do you have to go to the bathroom?" But I also agree that it's something A needs to take his own responsibility for, and I wonder if I'm overanalyzing when I suggest there's a possibility that with all the change and upheaval in his life it's a way of subconsciously having control over his environment and also a way of bringing focus from mom and dad *together* onto him.
Ok little Miss Freud will shut up now. I'm sure someone that has kids will be more help here, lol
Yeah, I thought it might have been something to do with the split, but from what I gathered from C's sister, it's been going on since before they split, so I'm not sure how related it is to that. Dunno...
My eldest daughter wet herself until she was 6. To be fair it was mostly bed wetting but none the less it drove me nuts. I couldn't take the plastic off her mattress for years. I don't think she's still wetting the bed....she's almost 16 now.
I'm not a doctor so I can't say there is not something deeper going on here, but from my view he'll grow out of it. Every child is different.
Tiffani
Hehehehe. Know what? This falls under the "nacho" category. As in nacho problem. Like you couldn't see that one coming! But anyway, it is unusual although not necessarily indicative of any severe psychological damage or physical problem. This is one of those things that you are not going to veto the parents on and might be misconstrued as a criticism of their parenting if you try to step in right away.
In case you were still wondering... My son was kind of late potty user. Although all the parenting experts claim it's bad, I used the threat-bribe method. Lasting results in less than a week. If C and H get desparate, I'll elaborate for you.
This is a very common problem, so don't get all wacky about it. Some good steps to follow to help the eventual stopping are these:
1. Much like when a kid is first toilet training, you have to remind them every once in a while to go to the bathroom. Every couple hours or so, go up to the child and say, "Hey? Do you need to go poddy (or whatever your family calls it)?" Kids of this age tend to forget that they need to go, as they get sidetracked easily. By periodically reminding them, this will help.
2. Do not allow any fluids within a couple hours of bedtime. If they are thirsty, then can have a little sip of liquid, but not a full glass. Once again, they need to be reminded to go to the bathroom before they crawl into bed. If they say they don't have to - tell them to "try". 9 times out of 10, it produces liquid result. This should help the night issues.
You are on the right track, as it seems you are already doing similar things. Other than that, it's perfectly normal for this to happen - and it's all about attention span and proper timing of liquid intake.
Good Luck!
Buster
Thanks everyone for your input. I appreciate it. :-)
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