Weapons of mass.....vibration

So, we're a pretty laid back bunch here in AU. Seems about the only thing that really affects us to any great extent is terrorist threats in airports or on planes. There have been a handful, but all have turned out to be just something unusual or quirky, albeit enough to call us to some sort of action.

I hadn't heard about this latest news report till it was shown to me just now.

Vibrator shuts down Australian airport

BRISBANE, Australia, (AFP) - Hundreds of airline passengers suffered disruption to their travel plans when a major regional airport was shut down for an hour after a humming and vibrating adult sex toy was mistaken for a bomb.

Here's the full story.

But here's my issue...the term 'adult novelty device'. Now anybody who has one of these knows full well that they are not a novelty at all. No. They're a practical, useful, and very necessary addition to a girl's bedroom. Especially single girls.

• They perform when you need them to,
  
• for as long as you need them to (keeping in mind you've remembered to keep spare batteries on hand),
  
• they do exactly what you want to do,
  
• you don't have to make the right noises at the right moments to boost their ego,
• you don't have to worry about them finishing before you (because you were smart enough to make sure you had charged batteries when you started),
• you don't have to wear fancy lingerie to entice them,
• they won't wake you in the middle of the night when you just want to sleep,
• they won't complain if you decide once you start that you really weren't interested to begin with,
• and you can keep a variety at once and nobody gets jealous.

And now, the frequent traveller doesn't have to leave home with out it, because you can get one that connects to the USB port on your laptop! Yes folks, I've seen these. What a concept huh!

The person who ditched theirs in the bin at the airport needs to go shopping more often.

Reading over my list, being single now doesn't seem such a desolate way of life. Who needs a guy anyway? I can keep myself happy.

As for the person who described them as a 'novelty device'. Methinks they probably need to go out and buy one themselves.