Sitting on the shelf

I really like my friend Stewart. He contacted me on match.com a few months back and we just clicked straight away. Although, he tells me he was nervous the first time he met me. I'm seriously not that scary! Really!

I was with D at the time, so we got ourselves firmly entrenched in the 'friendship zone' right from the start. We sometimes talk about 'coulda been', but I think we both prefer it that we're just friends.

We both seem to have a similar problem. He fixes the girls he meets, and I fix the guys I meet and off they go and find someone else. Stew calls it 'reprogramming'. We take people down off the shelf, dust them off, give them a good polish, fit them with improvements, make adjustments, and someone else comes along and snaps them up at a bargain price.

My boss saw that I was talking to E the other day and E made the comment, " just tell him its very important, you are getting old and you don't want to be left on the shelf, this might be your last chance to avoid becoming a old spinster. I'm sure he will understand".

Well that prompted me to ask him if I'd been taken off the shelf, to which he responded that I'm pretty close to my use by date. I told him that even if I get past my use by date, I'll still be damn fine quality goods coz I'm one of a kind. To this, he agreed. Ha!

I hope I'm not just being dusted off and reprogrammed.

Then again....there's a really nice view from the top shelf...and plenty of room. :-)