The 'talk'....sort of

Ed and I had a kind of 'talk' over our childish dinner, which he was expecting and initiated. I had brain freeze though, so I wasn't too pleased with myself. He asked what the rules were and all I could come up with was something dumb like 'be nice to me and treat me well'. Ugh! I should have written it down like he asked!

Honesty, faithfulness, attentiveness. That's pretty much all that I'm after (why couldn't I think of this last night?) - and that he keeps in touch. We had different ideas on this. I told him I didn't need to hear from him constantly, but at least once during the day so I know he's out there somewhere. I don't need to know what he's doing every five minutes. Once a day, at least, is bearable for both of us, so we'll see how it goes.

Anyway, we agreed neither of us would see anybody else and he said some things that eased my mind. The *IBSC did me over today and I was thinking all sorts of things. He told me that he'd been painting all day...of course, I couldn't believe that till I actually saw the paint on his hands. Stupid IBSC!! GGrrrrr!

'Some' of my worries are lessened. I think I've worked out kinda why I had worries in the first place, and it's not really to do with what I thought it was, so that's something for me to ponder. This is the first time I think I've really gone through the 'pre-dating' stage, where you've met someone, you think you like them and they like you, you're not sure where it's going to go, you're not quite 'official', but you don't want to see anybody else. I really don't like it! The vulnerability makes me seriously uncomfortable.

Well, there's that and there's the fact that he can't seem to just spit out that he does have other girls he chats to on line. He's not outright denying it anymore, but he won't come out and say it either. As long as it doesn't affect our interaction, I won't mind so much, but it's early days so only time will tell. But that's probably a whole other musing some other time.

Overall, I really enjoy his company - we have fun, obviously - so I'm just gonna try to enjoy it for what it is right now and just let it flow....as long as the IBSC stays away from me!!

* IBSC - Itty Bitty Shitty Committee - those voices in your head that cause doubt, anxiety, insecurity and shut out the voice of reason and logic.