Bittersweet...or something anyway

Black Hawk Down was on tv last night. I love that movie. But I couldn't watch it.

I was talking to Ed as me and as my alter ego. Watching a movie like that whilst talking about relationship dynamics kinda just made me feel shallow.

I was also thinking about Jason. I know he's ok. He's got the strongest character of anyone I know. But the movie got me thinking of him and I miss him. He's the only person I truly believe when he says I'm beautiful or that he loves me. Guess that's never really occured to me until now, but it's true.

I was thinking too about someone I don't know and have never met, but am intrigued by. If you're reading this, you know who you are - I'm your sole audience. Why was I thinking of you? Because you say the words I'm too afraid to admit to myself or anyone else, and for that, I thank you.

So, I didn't watch all of Black Hawk Down, just pieces. Probably better that way. I wasn't in the mood to cry.