So very tired
I try to be enthusiastic, but it's hard to stay that way for more than a few hours at a time without wanting to just be asleep.
An interim doc has given me some drugs to help me sleep through the night - basically trying to remove my REM sleep, so I don't wake up all the time. Some days it works, some days, it doesn't. What it does do every time is make me feel drunk. So very drunk. I can't think, talk properly, and type properly. Actually, my typing is the funny part. So awful! But it knocks me out after about half an hour, so as long as I get to bed in time, it's not that noticeable. Most of the time. :-D
The really bad side is this same doc has referred me for a mandatory Fitness to Drive test next week. I am smoke-out-the-ears furious, but there's nothing I can do about it. If I don't go, I could lose my licence anyway. If I wasn't already anxious and stressed, I am moreso now, thanks to this damn situation. But I'm collecting research to take with me (that show other idiots on the road are more of a danger than me being tired).
My specialist is back next week. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 situation. I walk a fine line. If my symptoms show up in a negative way on the drive test, I may be forced onto a restricted licence, which will severely impede my quality of life. If I 'pass' the test, they might think my symptoms are not severe enough to go back on medication and I'll go on feeling the way I do. I'm somewhere in between both. I am fine to drive, but I do need medication to make life easier....better. Normal. I don't know how to de-stress between now and this time next week.
The bushfire situation is mentally and physically draining. I'm seeing it on tv, hearing it on radio, smelling the smoke, watching the water chopper go over the house, and working with it every day. I have to say, I'm seeing the truly good in people at work. I can't go into a lot of it for privacy reasons, but the number of people who have volunteered to help with dis@s.ter vic tim ident.if ica. tion (don't want go ogle picking this up) is just overwhelming. We've received huge food donations from companies we've approached to help us feed the volunteers 24/7 for the next few weeks. And so much more. The generosity humbles all of us who work there.
Overall, I'm so extremely tired and when I'm not having to concentrate, my brain goes blank. Even when I have to concentrate, I'm finding it pretty difficult to keep a train of thought.
But many people have it much worse than me right now. I'm keeping perspective, despite my whining.
An interim doc has given me some drugs to help me sleep through the night - basically trying to remove my REM sleep, so I don't wake up all the time. Some days it works, some days, it doesn't. What it does do every time is make me feel drunk. So very drunk. I can't think, talk properly, and type properly. Actually, my typing is the funny part. So awful! But it knocks me out after about half an hour, so as long as I get to bed in time, it's not that noticeable. Most of the time. :-D
The really bad side is this same doc has referred me for a mandatory Fitness to Drive test next week. I am smoke-out-the-ears furious, but there's nothing I can do about it. If I don't go, I could lose my licence anyway. If I wasn't already anxious and stressed, I am moreso now, thanks to this damn situation. But I'm collecting research to take with me (that show other idiots on the road are more of a danger than me being tired).
My specialist is back next week. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 situation. I walk a fine line. If my symptoms show up in a negative way on the drive test, I may be forced onto a restricted licence, which will severely impede my quality of life. If I 'pass' the test, they might think my symptoms are not severe enough to go back on medication and I'll go on feeling the way I do. I'm somewhere in between both. I am fine to drive, but I do need medication to make life easier....better. Normal. I don't know how to de-stress between now and this time next week.
The bushfire situation is mentally and physically draining. I'm seeing it on tv, hearing it on radio, smelling the smoke, watching the water chopper go over the house, and working with it every day. I have to say, I'm seeing the truly good in people at work. I can't go into a lot of it for privacy reasons, but the number of people who have volunteered to help with dis@s.ter vic tim ident.if ica. tion (don't want go ogle picking this up) is just overwhelming. We've received huge food donations from companies we've approached to help us feed the volunteers 24/7 for the next few weeks. And so much more. The generosity humbles all of us who work there.
Overall, I'm so extremely tired and when I'm not having to concentrate, my brain goes blank. Even when I have to concentrate, I'm finding it pretty difficult to keep a train of thought.
But many people have it much worse than me right now. I'm keeping perspective, despite my whining.
posted by E in Oz at 8:25 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 8:25 pm
8 Comments:
Re: the "fine line". Remember, you already ARE medicated, so even passing the driving test and doing well doesn't mean you don't need meds. Your worst case scenario is that you explain that you need these "adjusted" to the right combo, rather than talking about it as if you are going from "nothing" to "everything".
Please try to take time for yourself. I don't know if it's really feasible right now, but you need some purely selfish YOU time to make it through, with all you have going on.
Hey girl, it's Blissie. What in the world is going on? Please shoot me an email, I'm worried about you! megsmindATgmailDOTcom...
Miss you!
((((((((((E))))))))))))
It doesn't sound like a fun time right now. Take care of yourself and I have my fingers crossed on the drive test. It would be hard to lose any priveleges with driving...
I hope they get the medication/sleep thing sorted. It would be very hard to live on the kind of sleep you get (or don't get, as the case may be).
Hang in there.
Sometimes I get concerned when silence happens. And when you're silent--I get concerned. It's that simple. G'head and harass me about that one...it's just how I'm made.
I don't haffta like the doc doing his job, but it's his job to do. I'm hopeful you'll be able to pass with flying colors. I know how that'd get in the way of me doing my life cuz I had a taste of that on just a limited basis. It sucked and I hated it. I'm bad when it comes to asking anyone for anything. GO figure.
ME time sounds like a good plan. Maybe for the both of us, eh?
((((((( Eve )))))))
*sigh*
We suck at that one, yaknow....
hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....
Just hugging. :)
Seroquel did it for me. I tried going off it and ended up with the nastiest case of insomnia EVER.
Started back up again and I slept like a little baby...
誰でもであえちゃううう、使ってみてねー
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