Visceral Fear of Harm
I've started reading a book that I'm not going to name here. Five pages in, I found something that enlightened me more than I expected and has taken a weight off my shoulders in a way I'm not sure I can explain yet.
In general, this book will help you come to trust the messages that your emotions send you, but there is one that I want you to be aware of even before you start reading. For your own safety and for the safety of everyone you love, you must learn to trust your visceral reactions to fear of harm. That's a feeling in your muscles and in your gut that you will be physically injured. A visceral feeling comes over you more abruptly and with greater intensity than mere anxiety about having a bad evening or even dread of betrayal, depression, and other worries about conflict and emotional abuse. Your visceral fear of harm is not cognitive; you sense aggressive impulses in others before your brain can formulate thoughts about possible danger. That's why you get tense in certain situations, like walking down darkened sidewalks or seeing suspicious strangers, without knowing why. Women have a heightened sense of this early warning system, which is why your husband remains perfectly calm and might even get annoyed with your nervousness as you walk together in a darkened parking garage.
Wish I knew that a while ago. I wouldn't have felt the guilt I had about the way I reacted in a couple of situations in the last 12 months.
In general, this book will help you come to trust the messages that your emotions send you, but there is one that I want you to be aware of even before you start reading. For your own safety and for the safety of everyone you love, you must learn to trust your visceral reactions to fear of harm. That's a feeling in your muscles and in your gut that you will be physically injured. A visceral feeling comes over you more abruptly and with greater intensity than mere anxiety about having a bad evening or even dread of betrayal, depression, and other worries about conflict and emotional abuse. Your visceral fear of harm is not cognitive; you sense aggressive impulses in others before your brain can formulate thoughts about possible danger. That's why you get tense in certain situations, like walking down darkened sidewalks or seeing suspicious strangers, without knowing why. Women have a heightened sense of this early warning system, which is why your husband remains perfectly calm and might even get annoyed with your nervousness as you walk together in a darkened parking garage.
Wish I knew that a while ago. I wouldn't have felt the guilt I had about the way I reacted in a couple of situations in the last 12 months.
posted by E in Oz at 8:37 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 8:37 pm
3 Comments:
Sounds very interesting. I think I have a lot of baggage that feeds into this and makes more out of what is really there, so I have to REALLY work hard at figuring out what is real and what isn't.
Gah- when do I get to graduate?
What does Visceral mean?
visceral feelings=for me it's that tight chested, churning tummy, tight throat feeling, stop breathing moment that intuitively oughta be sending off bells and whistles that there's danger/harm ahead
Sometimes I ignore them and forge ahead and end up just fine (old tapes, leftovers from days gone by)--sometimes it's a 'slap myself in the head' moment when I'm cursing myself FOR ignoring them cuz they were RIGHT!
Better to feel stupid for playing it (overly) safe than to sustain injury cuz I can be cocky and prideful and don't wanna look stupid?
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