Does my butt look big in these pants?

Yes, I really did ask C that question last night. He said no. I know he's supposed to say that, but he'd have told me if it did.

I was trying on a pair of pants (tight fitting cords) I bought while I was in Sydney. I was keeping them to wear in winter, because they're really warm, but since the weather doesn't know what it's doing and thinks it's winter today, I decided to wear them.

I know, I know, common sense would have suggested I put them on last night with the underwear that I was going to wear today, but I'd been playing dress ups (I'll get to that later), and well, it's just easier to change in and out of a heap of clothes if you don't have to keep fixing your undies....so I had none on.

To my credit, I did squat down and ask C if he could see the not-so-sexy labourer's-butt-crack look happening. He said no. "Just don't wear a short top with them." Um....Houston, we have a problem. I don't own long tops. I don't even think I have a long sweater. I especially don't have anything like that at C's place yet. It's summer dammit. I have summer clothes. So I grabbed a jacket and said I'd just wear that all day, since I don't have a long top and it'd be cold enough to keep a jacket on anyway.

Up I get this morning and grab what I think will be the most suitable undies...a pair of black g's. All is good. The pants cover the g's. See, I'm not used to wearing low cut stuff, coz I have big hips and low cut stuff makes me look like...well, like I have big hips. But these look ok. Standing up. They even make my butt look half decent.

Then I bent over. Just slightly. Down go the pants, up come the g's. This is not a good look! There's an ad here on tv for a brand of cheese dips. A girl sends her bf out to get some. The brand is Black Swan. He goes to the supermarket and forgets the name. A girl walks up to grab some dip, bends over and her black g shows. "Ah, that's it", he says, "black thong...er....Black Swan", takes the dips from her hand and leaves. I did not want to come to work (in a school full of all male students), being the Black Swan girl.

So I'm sitting here at my desk with my jacket on, glad nobody sits behind me, having to hitch my pants every time I get up, feeling very self conscious and wondering how the heck I'm ever gonna be able to wear these trousers without a big long jacket over the top.

The best bit? They do up with a little criss-cross lace ribbon. I'm just waiting for it to come undone somehow...