Please remove the sign from my back
Someone has most definitely stuck a sign to my back. Something like, "if you're 18, think I'm 'hot' and you live interstate, or if you're 48 and marvel at 'how pretty' I am, or if you think 'athletic' means you get up often from the couch to go to the fridge, then puulleeeeeese contact me! I can hardly wait!" I'm sure there's a big pink neon flashing light back there too.
Now, I don't claim to be the best thing since sliced bread. I'm nowhere near it. I have some serious flaws. But I'm not delusional either. But these dudes are! For the life of me, I cannot work out what I'm doing to attract every type of guy on the planet, except for the ones I'm attracted to.
There are a couple of really lovely guys I'm talking to right now. By simply being who they are, they're helping me to keep my faith that eventually something will work out with someone and that all guys are not arseholes, delusional, uncommunicative, or a combination of those and more. To them, a resounding THANK YOU!
But I'd really like for someone (a guy?) to explain to me why people who have no chance think they have a chance. For instance, I received a well written email last night that started off like this.... I of course saw your ad on the internet and really want to get to know you and see if you and I can form a relationship with the goal of creating a family........At this time in my life, I am ready for children and hopefully if we connect we will have some together. HUH? We haven't even met yet! In addition, this guy is old enough to be my father and lives in America. How about, "hi, liked your profile, here's some stuff about me, hope to hear from you soon, if not, good luck..."?
Or... Hi, I think I'm in love, you look great and I love to meet you ,can you please call me on 0412 xxx xxx. No! You potential stalker guy! I don't even know what you look like, but thanks! What I didn't mention to you was that I'm a stalker and now I'm going to harrass you and send you crude emails and text messages for the rest of eternity.
And the most recent, and by far the best... I am lonely. are you into sodomy?? if you are I can meet you when you like and I'll pay for the hotel. Ok, this guy was HOT, but WTF???
I would love just one sane, nice, attractive guy (relatively close to my age!) to say, "Hi, if you're interested, I'd really like to go have coffee and a bit of a chat".
Too much to ask? Please tell me it ain't so!
Now, I don't claim to be the best thing since sliced bread. I'm nowhere near it. I have some serious flaws. But I'm not delusional either. But these dudes are! For the life of me, I cannot work out what I'm doing to attract every type of guy on the planet, except for the ones I'm attracted to.
There are a couple of really lovely guys I'm talking to right now. By simply being who they are, they're helping me to keep my faith that eventually something will work out with someone and that all guys are not arseholes, delusional, uncommunicative, or a combination of those and more. To them, a resounding THANK YOU!
But I'd really like for someone (a guy?) to explain to me why people who have no chance think they have a chance. For instance, I received a well written email last night that started off like this.... I of course saw your ad on the internet and really want to get to know you and see if you and I can form a relationship with the goal of creating a family........At this time in my life, I am ready for children and hopefully if we connect we will have some together. HUH? We haven't even met yet! In addition, this guy is old enough to be my father and lives in America. How about, "hi, liked your profile, here's some stuff about me, hope to hear from you soon, if not, good luck..."?
Or... Hi, I think I'm in love, you look great and I love to meet you ,can you please call me on 0412 xxx xxx. No! You potential stalker guy! I don't even know what you look like, but thanks! What I didn't mention to you was that I'm a stalker and now I'm going to harrass you and send you crude emails and text messages for the rest of eternity.
And the most recent, and by far the best... I am lonely. are you into sodomy?? if you are I can meet you when you like and I'll pay for the hotel. Ok, this guy was HOT, but WTF???
I would love just one sane, nice, attractive guy (relatively close to my age!) to say, "Hi, if you're interested, I'd really like to go have coffee and a bit of a chat".
Too much to ask? Please tell me it ain't so!
posted by E in Oz at 9:12 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 9:12 pm
3 Comments:
To quote from your text: "I am lonely. Are you into sodomy?"
I almost spat my coffee over my laptop when I ready that, I was laughing so much...
Of course that's gone straight to the top of my pick-up lines list!
Oh, gosh, that is pretty funny! Hehehe. I was just e-mailing Roland about something like that.
I totally feel your pain, though! Seems these days I get the 45-50 year olds looking for "arm candy." Not that I think I'm arm candy, but for crying out loud, I have an UNCLE who's 45!!!
Actually though, I don't think it's a pink neon sign that's doing it to you... I think it's that sky writer circling right overhead. ;)
hehehe
I laughed so hard at this.
Did I tell you about the guy at work that was trying to find out if I would do interracial dating without asking? Eventually he gave up and just said "hey girl, you got jungle fever?"
Now everytime I pass him in the halls I have to turn my head to keep from laughing.
Isn't that course over yet?!?!
R
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