Spidey senses
This morning I walked into a spider web. I didn't realise at first. Why my hair suddenly stuck in the same spot while I walked away, I hadn't figured out, till I turned around. Yeah, think about it...... I was standing in the back of my carport, felt something in my hair, thought I'd just spun around too quickly and my hair didn't move as fast as the rest of me (well it could happen!), and yet I still turned around to see who or what was behind me.
That's when I saw the web. A big web. Big webs usually mean big spiders. I'd put a decent amount of hairspray over my head, so I was sure I had some foul, ugly beast stuck to my skull and just waiting till I got in my car and drove away, so it could crawl down over my face and send me barrelling into someone's fence at full speed.
Yes, if you've been reading a while, you'll know I have this little arachnophobia thing happening.
I checked about ten times in my rear vision mirror and couldn't see anything, but I was sure it was there. But onwards I went, remembering to check my head before I got out of my car when I got to work. The last thing I wanted was to take the (obviously invisible) evil spidey into my office. Luckily my paranoia was just that.
But the whole incident reminded me of another spidey saga I had a couple of weeks ago. I'd bought some outdoor super-strength-guaranteed-to-kill-anything-with-more-than-four-legs stuff and was waiting for the right time to let loose with it around the courtyard and back door, because I'd had a few unwanted crawly visitors and I wasn't impressed.
I walked into my bathroom and this dirty great black spider was sitting there taunting me. "Oooh", I said, "Time to test the spidey killer stuff. Your days are numbered buddy!" So I grabbed the spray, aimed and fired. Spidey froze, shuddered and continued on his way as if nothing happened. I sprayed again. Spidey looked at me. "Is that all you got?", as he approached me. It called for drastic measures, so I got closer and sprayed till his big fat black body looked like it was dressed in a fluffy white coat.
It was then that I realised that this spray was not this spider's kryptonite. In fact, it seemed to be making him bigger, stronger and meaner. I swear the more I sprayed that bastard, the more defiant he became. I'm sure I saw him putting on his boots and leathers at one stage. I can't even explain how much of that damn spray I subjected him to before he curled up and died. Sure I could have killed him with a shoe, but by that time he was bigger than my shoe. Really!
T thought I was exaggerating. He called while I was fighting spidey and couldn't really understand why I was fussing so much. That was until he got home on Monday night and found that one of mutant spidey's friends had travelled across the country with him. "It was big, black and one of the more ugly spiders I've seen", he says. "Mmmm", I nod and think to myself, "just be glad I didn't spray it with anything, or it would have been carrying your baggage, not just travelling in it".
That's when I saw the web. A big web. Big webs usually mean big spiders. I'd put a decent amount of hairspray over my head, so I was sure I had some foul, ugly beast stuck to my skull and just waiting till I got in my car and drove away, so it could crawl down over my face and send me barrelling into someone's fence at full speed.
Yes, if you've been reading a while, you'll know I have this little arachnophobia thing happening.
I checked about ten times in my rear vision mirror and couldn't see anything, but I was sure it was there. But onwards I went, remembering to check my head before I got out of my car when I got to work. The last thing I wanted was to take the (obviously invisible) evil spidey into my office. Luckily my paranoia was just that.
But the whole incident reminded me of another spidey saga I had a couple of weeks ago. I'd bought some outdoor super-strength-guaranteed-to-kill-anything-with-more-than-four-legs stuff and was waiting for the right time to let loose with it around the courtyard and back door, because I'd had a few unwanted crawly visitors and I wasn't impressed.
I walked into my bathroom and this dirty great black spider was sitting there taunting me. "Oooh", I said, "Time to test the spidey killer stuff. Your days are numbered buddy!" So I grabbed the spray, aimed and fired. Spidey froze, shuddered and continued on his way as if nothing happened. I sprayed again. Spidey looked at me. "Is that all you got?", as he approached me. It called for drastic measures, so I got closer and sprayed till his big fat black body looked like it was dressed in a fluffy white coat.
It was then that I realised that this spray was not this spider's kryptonite. In fact, it seemed to be making him bigger, stronger and meaner. I swear the more I sprayed that bastard, the more defiant he became. I'm sure I saw him putting on his boots and leathers at one stage. I can't even explain how much of that damn spray I subjected him to before he curled up and died. Sure I could have killed him with a shoe, but by that time he was bigger than my shoe. Really!
T thought I was exaggerating. He called while I was fighting spidey and couldn't really understand why I was fussing so much. That was until he got home on Monday night and found that one of mutant spidey's friends had travelled across the country with him. "It was big, black and one of the more ugly spiders I've seen", he says. "Mmmm", I nod and think to myself, "just be glad I didn't spray it with anything, or it would have been carrying your baggage, not just travelling in it".
posted by E in Oz at 9:44 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 9:44 pm
5 Comments:
Hey Eve... what's that? There... in your hair...
Would you like me to send you this nifty little fly swatter thingie I have? It's battery powered and actually fries bugs when you swat them.
I use it on these brown spiders that look enough like brown recluses and it's kind of gross, but you can smell those suckers frying.
Burn, baby, burn!!! ;)
Tell about your childhood stories. You can read about some of mine at lifeupdates.blogspot.com. If you start at the beginning, you will get a much deeper picture of what I'm trying to say.
Try your hairspary next time. It clogs their book lungs and they suffocate.
LOL! I walked into one the other night coming out onto my back patio. The web was a fine one though, one line stretching from one side to the other and it caught me right under my eyelashes.
Last night I had to get D to kill the teeny one in the bathroom for me. Well it WAS right under the toilet; could *I* be expected to kill it? I don't think so!
God I love Australia; one adventure after another. ;)
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