The aftermath
They say you should try something once before you knock it. Well, we tried the internet dating site event last night and now we can officially knock the heck out of it. N-e-v-e-r again!
If we hadn't have paid the $15 to get in the door, we would have turned around and walked straight out again. Part of us felt we couldn't really slam the rest of the people who were there because...well because we were there... but our justification is that we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. A true, "they didn't mention this in the brochure" scenario. In fact, the 'brochure' (the ad on the dating site) showed lots of photos of young people - pretty people - laughing and having fun. (We realised afterwards that the pretty people, single or otherwise, probably already knew the decent places to go to and didn't have to go to organised events.)
Reality was much, much worse. It was a bit of a freak convention, to be honest. The women looked to be in competion to see who could be the most drunk and wear the most revealing clothes. (When you hit a certain age, 'less is more' only applies to alcohol and makeup, not clothes.) The men looked.....actually, it was more of a creepy, sleazy vibe they were giving off, suits or otherwise. As for the 25-45 age range, I reckon they should have checked IDs at the door, because if some of those dudes were under 45, then they must have had hard, hard lives. My dad looks younger than some of the oddballs who thought they were charming and suave.
And men, if you're reading, I don't care if you're in a suit and tie, or you're wearing a garbage bag, it is NOT appealing to women if you come up to us, beer in hand, and say, "Hey, check out my mate's tongue. Pretty impressive huh?", while your mate proceeds to stick out his fat slug of a tongue for approval. Not to mention the attempt at flattery, "Hey, they said it was an over 30s event, what are you girls doing here?" To which, I really wanted to reply, "Yeah, they said it was under 45s too, so get your arse outta here pops". But I'm too nice, so I just thought it.
We did end up having a relatively nice 29yo guy hanging around with us (see: following us around puppy dog style), but his name was the same as C's, so he had no chance before he even started. I went to the bathroom at one stage and he asked my girlfriend (who's also called C) if I would go out with him. What are we, 12? She said to ask me. Aarrrgh! So he did. I told him he could give me his number, but that I wasn't going to promise to call. I wanted to say no, straight out, but who can say no to a puppy dog? I felt bad for him. I took his damn number.
Oh yeah, that's the other thing. They gave us cards as we walked into the door ("Oooh a game! Yippeeee!" Ugh..) and we had to find a 'match'. Mine was to find a guy with a dog. C's was to find a guy who was drinking Crown. We made the 29yo say he had a dog and he was drinking that beer, so we could enter the raffle. That's before we knew what the prize was.....a cheap bottle of budget Champagne. Sooo not worth having to go up to a bunch of freaks and ask if they have a dog or not, especially since I don't drink the stuff!
I also have to mention that, prior to experiencing that freak convention, I'd been considering going on a 3 day trip, organised by the same dating site, to an island in the Barrier Reef in December. I will not be going! Less than two hours stuck with those people was bad enough. Three days on an island with no way of escape? No thanks! (Instead, I'm pondering something way more outrageous and impulsive, but not completely out of character. I'm not going to go into detail on that just yet though, so you'll have to wait a while to find out what it is that I'm considering doing.)
Anyway, it wasn't even 11pm yet, but we were feeling really uncomfortable in the middle of oddball central, so we had to get out of there. We were really concerned then that we'd be forever tainted as boring old farts if we went home, so we decided to hit a club in the cas!no that we used to go to. Another $15 entry fee.
At first, we thought we'd made another mistake. The music sucked. Different songs, but the beat did not change at all. Instead of actually being able to dance, all we could manage was a lame attempt at some side to side leg shifting. But dammit, we paid $15 so we were staying!
This particular club has a resident band and they've been there a long time....and they're fantastic, so we knew it'd be worth suffering the crap mix the dj was playing, to listen to the band and be able to dance normally. We hadn't been there long when a guy ('D') came straight up to me on the dance floor, got right in my face, tells me his name and asked me to dinner.
"Why should I?"
"Because I want to take you to dinner."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Can I have your number?"
"No."
"If I give you my number, will you call?"
"I'll ponder it. Does anyone ever say no to you?"
No response, gives me his business card, kisses my arm, and off he goes. I showed his card to C and she says his cousin is her mum's doctor. Too funny! (This happens with just about every Italian I meet! I guess that's what you get when all your friends are also Italian.) A while later, he came back and we had almost the same conversation again, and I added....
"So, how old are you anyway?"
"Aaah....twenty......five..........twenty six....next June. I'm a Gemini."
"Hmm so you've got a split personality too? I'm too old for you."
We do the stupid age guessing thing and he thinks I'm 28. I decide he's ok. He finally gets to 33.
"You know, I'm old, bitter, resentful, pessimistic, untrusting and I have a crapload of BAGGAGE." (See, I tell everyone all my good points as soon as I can! LOL)
"You have kids?!"
"No."
"So, can I take you to dinner? I'd like to cook for you."
"I will call you."
At that point I wasn't sure, but he wasn't being overly pushy and I was pretty amused, so I was considering it. I also liked that he didn't hang around us the whole time, pestering me. He just went off and did his own thing and came back every now and then to say hi (and ask me to dinner ha!).
My girlfriends and I generally keep to ourselves when we go out. We don't mind guys talking to us, as long as they give us space, let us do our own thing and back off when we're clearly not interested. Most of the other guys who were there really were annoying and bordering on harrassing. Apparently, it doesn't matter how old, guys still think it's funny to touch you on the arse then blame their mate. I swear I'm too old to deal with highschool games. I just wanted to punch them! If you can believe it too, two were called C. That made three I'd met in less than 4 hours. Bizarre!
By 2.45am our legs were about ready to drop off and I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to feel my toes again, so we bailed. The funniest part of the night was watching C as she tried to use the ticket machine to pay for our car parking. It wouldn't have been funny if she was trying to use the actual ticket machine, but watching her try to figure out where to put the card in the C0k3 machine was hilarious.
It took me three attempts at asking her if she was trying to get a bottle of water, or what it was that she was trying to do at all, before she realised I was pointing out that she was at the wrong machine and the ticket machine was beside the C0k3 machine. Luckily there was only a security guard around to notice, but it was funny as hell! Neither of us were drunk either!
In the car, I sent D a text message for amusement's sake.
I spent all of yesterday recovering. I didn't drink very much, but my head was thumping like nobody's business and my body ached. I'm sure I took way more than the recommended dose of painkillers, and spent the majority of the day watching the MotoGP and the F1 racing on tv. Yes, I like that stuff, but even if I didn't I couldn't move anyway, so I would still have watched it.
D rang in the afternoon. It appears the dinner invite was serious. ...Wednesday. Stay tuned.
If we hadn't have paid the $15 to get in the door, we would have turned around and walked straight out again. Part of us felt we couldn't really slam the rest of the people who were there because...well because we were there... but our justification is that we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into. A true, "they didn't mention this in the brochure" scenario. In fact, the 'brochure' (the ad on the dating site) showed lots of photos of young people - pretty people - laughing and having fun. (We realised afterwards that the pretty people, single or otherwise, probably already knew the decent places to go to and didn't have to go to organised events.)
Reality was much, much worse. It was a bit of a freak convention, to be honest. The women looked to be in competion to see who could be the most drunk and wear the most revealing clothes. (When you hit a certain age, 'less is more' only applies to alcohol and makeup, not clothes.) The men looked.....actually, it was more of a creepy, sleazy vibe they were giving off, suits or otherwise. As for the 25-45 age range, I reckon they should have checked IDs at the door, because if some of those dudes were under 45, then they must have had hard, hard lives. My dad looks younger than some of the oddballs who thought they were charming and suave.
And men, if you're reading, I don't care if you're in a suit and tie, or you're wearing a garbage bag, it is NOT appealing to women if you come up to us, beer in hand, and say, "Hey, check out my mate's tongue. Pretty impressive huh?", while your mate proceeds to stick out his fat slug of a tongue for approval. Not to mention the attempt at flattery, "Hey, they said it was an over 30s event, what are you girls doing here?" To which, I really wanted to reply, "Yeah, they said it was under 45s too, so get your arse outta here pops". But I'm too nice, so I just thought it.
We did end up having a relatively nice 29yo guy hanging around with us (see: following us around puppy dog style), but his name was the same as C's, so he had no chance before he even started. I went to the bathroom at one stage and he asked my girlfriend (who's also called C) if I would go out with him. What are we, 12? She said to ask me. Aarrrgh! So he did. I told him he could give me his number, but that I wasn't going to promise to call. I wanted to say no, straight out, but who can say no to a puppy dog? I felt bad for him. I took his damn number.
Oh yeah, that's the other thing. They gave us cards as we walked into the door ("Oooh a game! Yippeeee!" Ugh..) and we had to find a 'match'. Mine was to find a guy with a dog. C's was to find a guy who was drinking Crown. We made the 29yo say he had a dog and he was drinking that beer, so we could enter the raffle. That's before we knew what the prize was.....a cheap bottle of budget Champagne. Sooo not worth having to go up to a bunch of freaks and ask if they have a dog or not, especially since I don't drink the stuff!
I also have to mention that, prior to experiencing that freak convention, I'd been considering going on a 3 day trip, organised by the same dating site, to an island in the Barrier Reef in December. I will not be going! Less than two hours stuck with those people was bad enough. Three days on an island with no way of escape? No thanks! (Instead, I'm pondering something way more outrageous and impulsive, but not completely out of character. I'm not going to go into detail on that just yet though, so you'll have to wait a while to find out what it is that I'm considering doing.)
Anyway, it wasn't even 11pm yet, but we were feeling really uncomfortable in the middle of oddball central, so we had to get out of there. We were really concerned then that we'd be forever tainted as boring old farts if we went home, so we decided to hit a club in the cas!no that we used to go to. Another $15 entry fee.
At first, we thought we'd made another mistake. The music sucked. Different songs, but the beat did not change at all. Instead of actually being able to dance, all we could manage was a lame attempt at some side to side leg shifting. But dammit, we paid $15 so we were staying!
This particular club has a resident band and they've been there a long time....and they're fantastic, so we knew it'd be worth suffering the crap mix the dj was playing, to listen to the band and be able to dance normally. We hadn't been there long when a guy ('D') came straight up to me on the dance floor, got right in my face, tells me his name and asked me to dinner.
"Why should I?"
"Because I want to take you to dinner."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Can I have your number?"
"No."
"If I give you my number, will you call?"
"I'll ponder it. Does anyone ever say no to you?"
No response, gives me his business card, kisses my arm, and off he goes. I showed his card to C and she says his cousin is her mum's doctor. Too funny! (This happens with just about every Italian I meet! I guess that's what you get when all your friends are also Italian.) A while later, he came back and we had almost the same conversation again, and I added....
"So, how old are you anyway?"
"Aaah....twenty......five..........twenty six....next June. I'm a Gemini."
"Hmm so you've got a split personality too? I'm too old for you."
We do the stupid age guessing thing and he thinks I'm 28. I decide he's ok. He finally gets to 33.
"You know, I'm old, bitter, resentful, pessimistic, untrusting and I have a crapload of BAGGAGE." (See, I tell everyone all my good points as soon as I can! LOL)
"You have kids?!"
"No."
"So, can I take you to dinner? I'd like to cook for you."
"I will call you."
At that point I wasn't sure, but he wasn't being overly pushy and I was pretty amused, so I was considering it. I also liked that he didn't hang around us the whole time, pestering me. He just went off and did his own thing and came back every now and then to say hi (and ask me to dinner ha!).
My girlfriends and I generally keep to ourselves when we go out. We don't mind guys talking to us, as long as they give us space, let us do our own thing and back off when we're clearly not interested. Most of the other guys who were there really were annoying and bordering on harrassing. Apparently, it doesn't matter how old, guys still think it's funny to touch you on the arse then blame their mate. I swear I'm too old to deal with highschool games. I just wanted to punch them! If you can believe it too, two were called C. That made three I'd met in less than 4 hours. Bizarre!
By 2.45am our legs were about ready to drop off and I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to feel my toes again, so we bailed. The funniest part of the night was watching C as she tried to use the ticket machine to pay for our car parking. It wouldn't have been funny if she was trying to use the actual ticket machine, but watching her try to figure out where to put the card in the C0k3 machine was hilarious.
It took me three attempts at asking her if she was trying to get a bottle of water, or what it was that she was trying to do at all, before she realised I was pointing out that she was at the wrong machine and the ticket machine was beside the C0k3 machine. Luckily there was only a security guard around to notice, but it was funny as hell! Neither of us were drunk either!
In the car, I sent D a text message for amusement's sake.
I spent all of yesterday recovering. I didn't drink very much, but my head was thumping like nobody's business and my body ached. I'm sure I took way more than the recommended dose of painkillers, and spent the majority of the day watching the MotoGP and the F1 racing on tv. Yes, I like that stuff, but even if I didn't I couldn't move anyway, so I would still have watched it.
D rang in the afternoon. It appears the dinner invite was serious. ...Wednesday. Stay tuned.
posted by E in Oz at 10:56 am
these thoughts escaped my brain at 10:56 am
6 Comments:
So glad I'm married.....so glad I'm married... (to infinity)
See, that? Right there? That's why I don't go out anymore! I don't care if it makes me a fuddy-duddy! It's way more fun to just read a book, lol ;)
I don't know - sure there's a bunch of freaks and geeks out there, but isn't it fun to have an adventure in meeting new folks? And this D. character - I think it's so much fun to look forward to something like that. Even if it doesn't turn out - it's like having a lottery ticket in your pocket for tonight's drawing.
Have fun Wednesday :)
(...and I love your attitude!)
You're so beautiful you don't need internet dating. I would love to take you out I really enjoy your blog. Thank you for sharing your inner beauty and your experiences with us all. Keep the pics coming!
Anonymous, you made me blush. Thank you....really. :-)
This was a fantastic post, made me feel like I was right there with you. I couldn't help laughing through it though! Still, sounds like an awesome experience, one you can always retell over and over again.
I swear, if I wasn't with someone, I'd be totally doing stuff like that, and that whole speed-dating thing; if no other reason than to blog about it. ;)
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