Revenge

As time goes on, I continue to learn things about the person I lived with that cause me to believe that I never knew him at all. His deception was at a level I could never have imagined.

Today I learned something that has made me feel so incredibly used, taken advantage of, mislead. He may as well have gone around screwing everyone he met, because the depth of my sense of betrayal is beyond comprehension.

I can't begin to describe how I feel. The sensation is new to me.

What I do know is that I want him to hurt. I want him to feel the embarrassment for having been caught out. I want his friends to know. I want his family to know. I want his world to collapse the way he's made mine collapse. I want him to feel anguish and remorse like he's never felt before.

I know wanting revenge is not productive. Regardless, it's appealing, and for the first time in my life, I have no qualms about making someone suffer for their actions.

I need a fucking hug from someone who really fucking cares. And yeah, that's another first for me too - I swore on my blog.