Pain is my friend
I always manage to hurt myself. Even when I'm doing something completely boring and dull. I have an extra high pain barrier, which I think is probably a really good thing.
At my last gym, I used to do Body Attack and Body Combat classes a few times a week. Inevitably, I'd twist my ankle or do something similar. One time, doing a punch combination, I hyperextended my arm backwards and couldn't move it for 4 days. Mind you, this was in the first minute of the class, but because I have this notion that I'm some kind of superwoman, I kept going and did the entire class (as I did when I twisted my ankles). My arm is tingling? Hmmm...it's ok, I'll go to the doctor afterwards. Problem was, I could barely get into my car afterwards and change gears. But I got home eventually.
I don't like being in pain. So I pretend it doesn't exist. The thing with this is that I push myself because of it and don't do something about getting it fixed. If it doesn't exist, there's no need to go to the doctor, right?
Tomorrow, we're supposed to be going go-karting. Last time I went, I was taking a hairpin turn when this stupid chick who couldn't drive a kart to save her life, rammed into the side of me. Immediately, I knew I'd been hurt. Both my legs went numb. But it was the first practice round, to get timings. My mission for the day was to beat all the women and at least half of the men (there were about 30 of us). So I wasn't going to go down in flames before the race even started. Keep in mind, this was just a nice outing with friends. Some switch in the competitive side of me kicked in though, and my evil twin surfaced.
I could hardly walk, but I perservered and achieved what I set out to do. It took me two days before I let myself check out what that chick had done to my legs. She hit me from the side and both my legs hit the steering column. My left thigh had a bruise on it from my hip to my knee and I literally couldn't touch it. My right thigh wasn't so bad. After two weeks, I could barely put any weight on my knees. After six weeks, I figured I should go to the doctor. See? Denial. I could still function ok. It just hurt.
So we're going go-karting tomorrow. It might be a bit of a problem for me. I did something to my shoulder on Wednesday. I have no idea what I did, but I can hardly move my arm, I can't lie down (or if I do, it's a feat to get back up again), I can't lift anything, and I can't turn my head fully. I went to gym on Wednesday night and did my normal weight/cardio routine. Nothing out of the ordinary at all, and I was perfectly fine when I got home. Three hours later, a slight twinge. A bit after that, Houston, we have a problem.
It gets better. It's my left arm. I'm left handed. I have a manual car. I have to change gears with this arm. I have to drive two hours to C's sister's place tomorrow - before go-karting.
In my brain, I don't have a problem. Tonight, I'm scheduled to go to gym. I know I shouldn't. I know I can't. It won't stop me thinking, till the last minute, that I really can go and I really can lift weights.
I have some anti-inflammatory pain killers from the last time I did something dumb to myself. I'm taking those. I'll probably be a bit of a space cadet by lunch time, but it'll help me in the denial of pain.
C has given me $50 to go get some remedial massage today. I have issues with this on a number of levels, not the least of which being, if I want to go get help, I'm gonna pay for it myself. Stupid, independent, stubborn git that I am.
I will go go-karting tomorrow. I may be on crutches next week, but I'm gonna get in that kart. I wanna kick C's butt!
At my last gym, I used to do Body Attack and Body Combat classes a few times a week. Inevitably, I'd twist my ankle or do something similar. One time, doing a punch combination, I hyperextended my arm backwards and couldn't move it for 4 days. Mind you, this was in the first minute of the class, but because I have this notion that I'm some kind of superwoman, I kept going and did the entire class (as I did when I twisted my ankles). My arm is tingling? Hmmm...it's ok, I'll go to the doctor afterwards. Problem was, I could barely get into my car afterwards and change gears. But I got home eventually.
I don't like being in pain. So I pretend it doesn't exist. The thing with this is that I push myself because of it and don't do something about getting it fixed. If it doesn't exist, there's no need to go to the doctor, right?
Tomorrow, we're supposed to be going go-karting. Last time I went, I was taking a hairpin turn when this stupid chick who couldn't drive a kart to save her life, rammed into the side of me. Immediately, I knew I'd been hurt. Both my legs went numb. But it was the first practice round, to get timings. My mission for the day was to beat all the women and at least half of the men (there were about 30 of us). So I wasn't going to go down in flames before the race even started. Keep in mind, this was just a nice outing with friends. Some switch in the competitive side of me kicked in though, and my evil twin surfaced.
I could hardly walk, but I perservered and achieved what I set out to do. It took me two days before I let myself check out what that chick had done to my legs. She hit me from the side and both my legs hit the steering column. My left thigh had a bruise on it from my hip to my knee and I literally couldn't touch it. My right thigh wasn't so bad. After two weeks, I could barely put any weight on my knees. After six weeks, I figured I should go to the doctor. See? Denial. I could still function ok. It just hurt.
So we're going go-karting tomorrow. It might be a bit of a problem for me. I did something to my shoulder on Wednesday. I have no idea what I did, but I can hardly move my arm, I can't lie down (or if I do, it's a feat to get back up again), I can't lift anything, and I can't turn my head fully. I went to gym on Wednesday night and did my normal weight/cardio routine. Nothing out of the ordinary at all, and I was perfectly fine when I got home. Three hours later, a slight twinge. A bit after that, Houston, we have a problem.
It gets better. It's my left arm. I'm left handed. I have a manual car. I have to change gears with this arm. I have to drive two hours to C's sister's place tomorrow - before go-karting.
In my brain, I don't have a problem. Tonight, I'm scheduled to go to gym. I know I shouldn't. I know I can't. It won't stop me thinking, till the last minute, that I really can go and I really can lift weights.
I have some anti-inflammatory pain killers from the last time I did something dumb to myself. I'm taking those. I'll probably be a bit of a space cadet by lunch time, but it'll help me in the denial of pain.
C has given me $50 to go get some remedial massage today. I have issues with this on a number of levels, not the least of which being, if I want to go get help, I'm gonna pay for it myself. Stupid, independent, stubborn git that I am.
I will go go-karting tomorrow. I may be on crutches next week, but I'm gonna get in that kart. I wanna kick C's butt!
posted by E in Oz at 9:17 am
these thoughts escaped my brain at 9:17 am
5 Comments:
hehe hugs to ya Sal sweety. I'm not angry. Just frustrated with feeling like there's always something wrong with me, so I try to block it out.
I'm annoyed right now, because I think there's only been a week since I've been with C that I've actually been close to feeling 100%. It wears on me, so it must wear on him too, even though he says it doesn't matter.
You're just getting old, Eve... (ducks for cover) ;)
Well, hehehehe, alls I can say is, "Drive safe and give 'em hell!"
What do you need that shoulder for, anyway? It's a go-cart race! And I know what you mean about paying for the massage. It's a struggle to let people help, isn't it? Go on wit' yo' bad self, there!
I have the same problem with pain. Often I don't notice for a day or so. That and the old Army mentality of "Suck it up and drive on" is one that I've learned I can do very easily.
And as far as driving goes, the drivers in my company in Iraq had a motto "Drive it like you stole it". Served them well.
Brad
"Drive it like you stole it?" Haha, I heard that all the time in the Navy too. Makes for some pretty interesting and fun manuevers.
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