Subject: How to irritate me 101
Something I just read...(spelling and grammar corrected for readability)
"...Sometimes men can be very defensive at times, especially if they're having a bad day, but it's important to let him calm down and let him vent when he's upset. Then talk to him later over homecooked meal, and a nice massage...........so can we just talk without so much defensiveness all the time, because as wives, we need to be submissive..."
Ok, I get if a person is having a bad day that it's best to give them space till they're ready to talk.
BUT the same applies equally to women as it does men. However, nobody would tell a guy to wait till his wife is all calmed down, give her a nice homecooked meal and a massage, in the same scenario. He'd put it down to PMS and go work in the shed, or something.
It irritates me to think that there is still a notion out there that giving your man a homecooked meal is going to make all your problems melt away.
And in the context of the above statements, the woman who posted it was implying that the female partner's feelings/needs/wants were secondary to the man's. Submission, when it implies that one person should disregard their own feelings/needs/wants in order to always satiate the needs of the other, is destructive.
Compromise and balance, where a partner understands that, at that moment, the other person is in need of more 'support' (in whatever form that may take), is a healthier position to take. The difference between that and my interpretation of what the poster wrote, is that compromise and balance happen when both partner's needs are equal and consciously (or otherwise) met by each other. And that's how I think it should be.
Submission, in the way it's presented in the above statement, is something I just cannot comprehend. To constantly feel 'less than', or to place all of your feelings, all of the time, secondary to your partner's, is not a positive place to be.
Maybe I read too much into it, but it pissed me off.
"...Sometimes men can be very defensive at times, especially if they're having a bad day, but it's important to let him calm down and let him vent when he's upset. Then talk to him later over homecooked meal, and a nice massage...........so can we just talk without so much defensiveness all the time, because as wives, we need to be submissive..."
Ok, I get if a person is having a bad day that it's best to give them space till they're ready to talk.
BUT the same applies equally to women as it does men. However, nobody would tell a guy to wait till his wife is all calmed down, give her a nice homecooked meal and a massage, in the same scenario. He'd put it down to PMS and go work in the shed, or something.
It irritates me to think that there is still a notion out there that giving your man a homecooked meal is going to make all your problems melt away.
And in the context of the above statements, the woman who posted it was implying that the female partner's feelings/needs/wants were secondary to the man's. Submission, when it implies that one person should disregard their own feelings/needs/wants in order to always satiate the needs of the other, is destructive.
Compromise and balance, where a partner understands that, at that moment, the other person is in need of more 'support' (in whatever form that may take), is a healthier position to take. The difference between that and my interpretation of what the poster wrote, is that compromise and balance happen when both partner's needs are equal and consciously (or otherwise) met by each other. And that's how I think it should be.
Submission, in the way it's presented in the above statement, is something I just cannot comprehend. To constantly feel 'less than', or to place all of your feelings, all of the time, secondary to your partner's, is not a positive place to be.
Maybe I read too much into it, but it pissed me off.
posted by E in Oz at 3:41 pm
these thoughts escaped my brain at 3:41 pm
3 Comments:
No, no - you don't get it - men should be pandered to and obeyed at all times. That's when problems arise, when women don't do as they're told...
...and now I'll just go into hiding for a while... ;)
Hahahahaha
Hmmm, I'll have to try that technique... use food to distract Hubby.
That may just work!
kidding aside, I agree with you!
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