Taking the easy way out
Yesterday, I copied and pasted a number of my posts into a document and emailed it to C. It included things about my family, stuff I feel strongly about, or simply things I haven't told him yet. I could have sat down and tried to talk to him about these things, but I figured that since I'd already got them out in here in some sort of sense, it would be silly to try to formulate the words all over again in my head.
I told him when he got home that I'd done that. I almost forgot. He asked if he was supposed to talk to me about it once he'd read it all. That's up to him. I just needed to give him an insight into me in a way I didn't otherwise know how to do.
Can you believe we still haven't known each other two months yet? I don't know if it feels longer than that, or less than that. But it's been so easy. He hasn't done one silly thing, or made me doubt one moment in that time. That's not to say I haven't had my own doubts and insecurities when I've been left alone with my thoughts for too long, but that's for me to deal with.
But for now, I wait. I know there'll be things he'll want to talk to me about, after he reads the things I've given him. His life and mine growing up, were worlds apart. Maybe in some way, that's helping us now. Who knows.
All I know is that I really do appreciate his acceptance of me - as I am (and mine, too). Could be that I'm starting to grow up after all.
I told him when he got home that I'd done that. I almost forgot. He asked if he was supposed to talk to me about it once he'd read it all. That's up to him. I just needed to give him an insight into me in a way I didn't otherwise know how to do.
Can you believe we still haven't known each other two months yet? I don't know if it feels longer than that, or less than that. But it's been so easy. He hasn't done one silly thing, or made me doubt one moment in that time. That's not to say I haven't had my own doubts and insecurities when I've been left alone with my thoughts for too long, but that's for me to deal with.
But for now, I wait. I know there'll be things he'll want to talk to me about, after he reads the things I've given him. His life and mine growing up, were worlds apart. Maybe in some way, that's helping us now. Who knows.
All I know is that I really do appreciate his acceptance of me - as I am (and mine, too). Could be that I'm starting to grow up after all.
posted by E in Oz at 9:14 am
these thoughts escaped my brain at 9:14 am
3 Comments:
Chicken! ;)
There are a few things that hubby doesn't know about my childhood, but he does know about things that happened in later years. Actually there is no one person who knows everything, not even my sister believe it or not. She knows about the childhood, but not things that happened in later years. She and I are fiercely protective of each other and I just didn't want her to know.
I think it's because I feel protective of them and think I know what sort of information to protect them from. Both know more about me than anyone, but neither know it all.
A part of me also worries that they'll look at me differently if they knew everything. I look at it this way, I am who I am. A lot of it does have to do with "stuff". I think I'm the only one who can see the good side of it, ya know?
Anonymous L
Hiya!
I think that whatever way you say what needs to be said is the right way... I agree with S that usually when I have something big to say, I worry about it more than the person who ends up with that information. And as she said, the 'right' people do the right thing with it. C sounds like the 'right' people. It always takes me aback a little when I say something to M that I think he is going to be weirded out about and he's not. And it makes me know the power of our love. I have a feeling you have that same respect in your boy. :)
The right people can see that whatever happened in the past made you who you are today.. whenever you decide to tell them all that information is up to you.. you're doing a great job!
hugs,
a
Wow, your post plus something I saw on a TV show sparked a conversation with me and hubby that I wasn't quite prepared for. Nor was he. I think I'm going to start a "my dark side" blog, since his family reads my regular blog.
Lots of psychological fall out today, which lets me know that I keep that stuff way too locked away.
Anonymous L (you know who this is, don't you?)
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