Tightrope walking

Funny how things can change literally overnight.

We were talking last night about an issue we've been trying to resolve for a little while now. The issue always becomes the secondary problem and the problem becomes that we just stop communicating properly and we end up in a big mess.

So last night he says, "well it doesn't matter anymore, because we're breaking up". Can't say I've ever been so blindsided before. At the same time, I'm surprised that I wasn't more....not sure what the word is....but I was strangely calm.

We talked about some stuff; what was bothering each of us. It's my opinion that the things that are issues now are only issues now (and are a culmination of a bunch of things that are all happening at once, making things seem worse than they probably really are) and once they've been dealt with (and obviously we need help addressing that), then we'll be fine. I think he agreed with that.

Prior to this, I'd already made an appointment to for us to see a counsellor tonight (can you say 'premonition'?), so we are going to talk things through with her.

It ended up ok last night. We sat together and watched Lost (yeah, we have screwed up priorities) and then talked a little more after that. In the middle of the night, he woke up and said he promised to try to make things work. He actually held me tighter and longer during the night than we have in a while. I have to say I was surprised...although I'm not sure why (and I know that doesn't make sense). Most nights we'll hold hands while we sleep, or I'll sleep on his shoulder, but it was more than that, which is reassuring in a way.

I'm a bit dazed, but I'm more ok than I would have anticipated. Things were ok when I left this morning. Hopefully talking with another person will help us get back on track.

Someone give me some words of wisdom?